Arrogant People

[Bluejay]

Hi, Mormonmusic

Yes, but as I said earlier, when you hear the moniker "arrogant" fall from the lips of several people who have interacted with the person, I think that's an indication it's more than an isolatd perception.

But, it's still a perception. That two or more people perceive the same thing in the same way doesn't make it not a perception anymore.

Every person could likely find a community in which they or their actions would be considered arrogant. For instance, aggressive posting is often viewed as arrogant here at lds.net, while refusing to engage in debate is considered an honorable move. At the other forum I post on, evcforum.net, the exact reverse is true: aggressiveness is expected and lauded, and refusal to address counterpoints is considered rude and arrogant.

Arrogance is generally defined by the observer (or by the community of observers), rather than the individual (even those who profess their own arrogance do so on the basis of observational feedback from the community).

[Finrock]

Good afternoon Bluejay. I hope all is well with you today. :)

Hi, Mormonmusic

But, it's still a perception. That two or more people perceive the same thing in the same way doesn't make it not a perception anymore.

Every person could likely find a community in which they or their actions would be considered arrogant. For instance, aggressive posting is often viewed as arrogant here at lds.net, while refusing to engage in debate is considered an honorable move. At the other forum I post on, evcforum.net, the exact reverse is true: aggressiveness is expected and lauded, and refusal to address counterpoints is considered rude and arrogant.

Arrogance is generally defined by the observer (or by the community of observers), rather than the individual (even those who profess their own arrogance do so on the basis of observational feedback from the community).

I don't think I can accept this line of reasoning. It seems to me that if it doesn't denote it, it at least implicitely denies that humility exist. Humility isn't a relative thing therefore neither can humility's contradiction be relative.

Regards,

Finrock

[Bluejay]

Hi, Finrock.

Good afternoon Bluejay. I hope all is well with you today. :)

Of course not all is well with me today: people are disagreeing with me!

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I don't think I can accept this line of reasoning. It seems to me that if it doesn't denote it, it at least implicitely denies that humility exist. Humility isn't a relative thing therefore neither can humility's contradiction be relative.

It isn't that arrogance doesn't exist; it's that there's no way to objectively pinpoint what is arrogant and what isn't.

I'm very much of the opinion that trying to categorize personality traits is a waste of time. Labeling things doesn't really improve understanding of them.

[Guest mormonmusic]

It isn't that arrogance doesn't exist; it's that there's no way to objectively pinpoint what is arrogant and what isn't.

I'm very much of the opinion that trying to categorize personality traits is a waste of time. Labeling things doesn't really improve understanding of them.

Here I have to continue to disagree -- this means no personality trait can be labelled, and unfortunately, its through this labelling process that we learn to cope and react to the world around us.

Also, whether its an actual "true character trait" or not isn't relevant -- it's the perception that matters. So, perhaps my opening question should be "How do you deal with people who you perceive to be arrogant?".

Perceptions drive behavior.

[marts1]

Some of us are so easily offended or missunderstood sometimes it dosen't matter how you put things. (I thinks I offended myself that time) :)

[Finrock]

Hi, Finrock.

Of course not all is well with me today: people are disagreeing with me!

Oh, it's not that bad.

It isn't that arrogance doesn't exist; it's that there's no way to objectively pinpoint what is arrogant and what isn't.

Then I'm curious to know how you justify your belief in the existence of arrogance?

I'm very much of the opinion that trying to categorize personality traits is a waste of time. Labeling things doesn't really improve understanding of them.

I think I understand what you mean. Are you saying that calling someone arrogant, for instance, isn't very useful?

Regards,

Finrock

[Guest Kamperfoelie]

arrogance is a state of mind, of self perceived superiority in some or other way

this is not the same as being unpleasant to interact with. I can play chess with someone and arrogantly think i'm a pretty good player, and a jolly clever person because i'm winning, then kindly throw the game in order not to rub their faces in it.

***

Aggression is by its nature a product of fear or impotence. A dog will bark and snarl when they are scared. People will put on a mask of haughty arrogance to conceal their own insecurity. Though its hard (and the mask can be quite impregnable) an abrasive person likely needs your warmth more than your friendly neighbour.

[dorave]

Are you sure about that? I can think of one solution that would solve all of the ills of this world. "repentance"

err no, repentance can only save the self not the entire world. No matter how much you repented you yourself could not save the world.

[dorave]

The problem is, you can say that about just any problem.

However, because there is usually more than 1 solution to a problem, I've often wondered if, when I had to let the guitar player go, if that might've been a good time to let him know why. Tell him the truth -- that the other guys perceived him as arrogant, cite a few examples, and also indicate my agreement with their assessment. It might've been uncomfortable, or smarted a bit, but at least he would've left the band knowing what he'd done.

He could then accept or reject the perception of his character. My opinion is that most arrogant people would reject the perception others have of them, chalking it up to childlessness, oversensitivity or some other weakness in the eye of the beholder.

I wonder if arrogant people get enough of this kind of feedback, would they eventually take it to heart? In not telling them, are we doing them a disservice?

You need to try being humble, even to deem or think of someone else as arrogant is 'to be judgemental'.

[marts1]

err no, repentance can only save the self not the entire world. No matter how much you repented you yourself could not save the world.

I was meaning the world..sorta like the millenium. :)