going back after being inactive

[careless_whisper]

Hello

I was baptized in May of last year. I had a mental break down of sorts (broke up with a very serious boyfriend of 5 years, among other things that were troubling me) and just up and left the church. In this time, I've been very....un-Mormon? I've done a lot of bad things.

Recently, I broke up with another boyfriend who was kind of serious. This past year, I've realized I've felt empty and I've been trying to fill a void with a lot of sinful stuff. I called the missionaries yesterday, and I want to go back to church. When I went to the church, I felt at home, I felt the Spirit, I was so happy. I just kind of went off the deep end and quit going.

I'm REALLY nervous about going back. I was part of a singles ward. I'm just worried everyone is going to look at me and think I'm weird, wonder what I was up to, give me the cold shoulder. I want to go to church but I am so nervous about being accepted.

Also, what about taking part in sacrament? As I've said before, I've been very un-Mormon. Do I have to have a meeting with the bishop? I'm nervous that if I tell him everything, word will spread. I just don't want to be looked at for my past actions.

Any advice?

[john doe]

I would suggest you talk to your bishop about your situation. He is bound by confidentiality rules. I wouldn't worry about what others may think, worship is about your relationship to God, not what the gossips say behind your back.

[careless_whisper]

SO I am meeting up at a member's house tomorrow to watch General Conference. And then next week the missionaries invited me back to church. Do I meet with the bishop before then? What is the etiquette? Sorry I have no clue, lol.

[john doe]

No, you can start going back without seeing the bishop first. But I suggest you make an appointment with his executive secretary to visit with him when it's convenient.

[Guest]

My experience with non-actives coming back is usually an awesome feeling. People get sad/angry/judgmental/worried when you leave, but not when you come back =] Welcome Back!!! =]

[anzcmz]

I have only been in the Church for a little less than a year, but my husband was raised in the Church. He went through some rough times before we even knew eachother and stopped going to Church. People were very excited to see him back! If I were in your situation, I would not partake of the Sacrament until I had a meeting with the Bishop; he may ask to have a few meetings with you to see how you are coming along with cutting out those bad things, and will tell you whether or not to take the Sacrament. Don't worry about being accepted, people will just be happy to see you back and most likely won't even ask any questions about your absence.

Hope this helps!

[MisterT]

I went inactive for almost 6 years. After 4 years my wife and I split up and got a divorce. For the following two years I was very.. worldly. When I started to go back to church (in another state from where I last attended) it was if I was new to the church again. People were happy to see me. The Bishop and I became friends (I had dinner with him this evening in between conference and the Priesthood session), and over a period of time we discussed my sins in a conversational way that wasn't at all uncomfortable for either of us, and made me feel less as though I was being judged, and more as though I was being given the opportunity by a man who loves me to unburden myself of things that I'd done that torment my soul.

You don't have to go in and confess everything at once; start small until you have developed a trusting relationship where you feel comfortable in confiding in him everything that troubles you. He won't punish you, nor do I believe that the Lord punishes us in this life (he simply witholds blessings we would otherwise receive); The Lord is proud of us and happy when we unburden ourselves of our sins, and He wants us to receive the blessings he has in store for us.

[crazypotato]

The congregation at church is full of sinners. Think of the story of the Prodigal Son and how excited his father was to have him back. Do you have a jealous, faithful brother at church? If not, then you have nothing to worry about. Ha, ha!

The bishop isn't going to be shocked or repulsed by what you say. He has heard it all. His job is to help you realize the Savior's love for you, and if you need to repent, to focus on the joy of the atonement, not lecture you on how evil you have been. Your bishop may have had a colorful past, too. You never know!

[Bini]

Getting active again is tough. I can relate. I've been inactive for about ten years and hubby has been inactive for about twenty some years. The hardest part for us is making a lifestyle change, especially when we've been set in our ways for so long. It's a slow and gradual process but we're striving to make better choices. For me personally, I'm not too concerned what others may think or conclude about us for being inactive. Then again, I'm not returning to a ward that I used to attend. But for your situation, I'd try not to focus so much on worrying about how others view you and just focus on strengthening your testimony. I think sometimes people forget that those of us who have fallen away from the church, learn valuable lessons from our mistakes and can return "stronger" people and not necessarily "weaker" or "damaged". You may be surprised who you inspire by coming back :]