joyfulsunburst Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We've been living apart for a few months due to school. He recently became addicted to Xanax...and was abusing other prescription drugs... He has an addictive personality and this isn't the first time this has happened. He had two heart attacks a few months ago, and I thought it brought us closer...but after he moved away I started feeling differently. Basically I am/was ready for a divorce. However... A few days ago I participated in an act of infidelity. Of course at the time I didn't think it was a big deal. Not sure where my head was. It felt like I wasn't even married, that it didn't matter, etc...etc... (He is married too) I decided to just not tell him...EVER. And maybe get a divorce. Really not sure... I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified that since he's already a little imbalanced that he'll do something to hurt me or himself if I tell him. My head is still not completely clear...I just don't know what to do. I need some advice. Part of me wants to keep it secret forever and have it be my burden to bear. The other part wants to tell him now and work through it through counseling. The other part just wants a divorce. Thanks for any advice you can offer. I feel like I'm going crazy or something. I'm only 25 and feel like I'm having a midlife crisis...we don't even have any kids or anything either...UGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dizzysmiles Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 How long have you been married? I Would seek counsling, and if you want your marraige to work you have to tell him and work it out together. Go get the help from your bishop. Trust me I know where you coming from. Go read " Forgiving ourselves" and the only way out of this is through God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarnished Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 You should tell him, and you should go see the Bishop and begin to work towards repentance. Speak to your bishop about your fears that your husband might hurt you. Carrying that sin without confessing it is not something you want to be doing. It may seem like the easier thing right now, but it is not. It eats you up inside. The best thing to do is to confess and work towards repentance. You could start by telling your bishop first, he will tell you to tell your husband. However, if you tell your bishop first you can also tell him your fears of harm, then if something does happen you have someone who knows and can help you. Also he can probably give you advice based on what the spirit tells him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dizzysmiles Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 Also, your marriage may have been in shambles, but now with another married man, think of his wife and family. I wish I had. If you are going to make your marriage work, you both need to be living under one roof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justme39 Posted April 23, 2010 Report Share Posted April 23, 2010 Having just gone through this as the man who's wife was unfaithful, my advice would be as follows: If you have already decided to a great degree that your relationship won't work, ask your husband for a divorce and leave. Thank goodness that there are no children involved. If he has a drug addiction and you are scared, be very careful. Once you have gotten somewhere safe, start the repentance process...don't bury it. If you want to work it out, go to the Bishop and to your husband and be totally honest. My wife fully expected that I would explode and be awful (maybe even violent) as I have quite a temper. I handled it much better that either she or I would have guessed. One of my greatest fears has been that my wife is sticking by me eventhough she would rather be out of the relationship. It is easier for her not to let everyone know what happened, easier financially, easier on our kids. Don't stay with a husband, especially if he had drug issues unless you love him so much that you can't live without him. You have a lot of life ahead of you at 25. Know that the Lord loves you even through your worst times, and he wants you to be happy. Happiness is not found in a loveless relationship or one where you are living apart. I had a friend who moved to go to school and left his wife home. Their relationship fell apart. I suspect that your relationship is probably not too hot if you can agree to live apart in the first place. God bless you. Pray fervently, you will know what to do. Rely most on those feelings, and use the things you read here to a lesser degree. God will never lead you astray. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WhoShotJS Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 · Hidden Hidden get a divorce while you're still young and have a chance! Link to comment
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