Always A Battle

[jisa]

Have you ever battled with your mind? I am so always beating myself up for not being the best mom, wife, and normal person. I always want to be better, but never do anything to be that way.

I feel like I am just not good enough for anything so why should I even try. My poor family could be better if I was a better mom.

[Knee-fy]

DO WHAT? You mean....dare I say it...that you're not perfect!?!

Join the club. No one is. And if you could peer into others' souls and see behind closed doors you'd see that you are hardly the world's worst mother/person.

Talk to your bishop about this. Pray and ask to be allowed to see yourself the way Christ sees you. You'll be astonished at how wonderful you really are.

[mom_of_jcchlsm]

This is everyone! If we weren't always trying to be better, what would be the point of being at all?

Are you familiar with the song "Change Your Mind" by Sister Hazel? It's on their Fortress album. Our family loves that song and we all sing it at top volume - often with moist eyes. I bet we look silly going down the freeway in our minivan. It's such a happy, powerful song -- it makes you feel able to do anything, while at the same recognizing that it's OK not to be perfect . . . yet.

Lyrics:

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Hey, hey

Did you ever think there might be another way

To just feel better, just feel better, about today?

Oh, no

If you never want to have to turn and go away

You might feel better, might feel better, if you stay.

Yeah, yeah

I bet you haven't heard a word I said

Yeah, yeah

When you've had enough of all your tryin'

Just give up the state of mind you're in.

If you want to be somebody else,

If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself,

If you want to be somebody else,

Change your mind.

Change your mind.

Hey, hey -

Have you ever danced in the rain or thanked the sun

Just for shining, just for shining on the sea?

Oh, no

Take it all in.

The world is just a show

and you look much better, look much better, when you glow.

Yeah, yeah

I bet you haven't heard a word I said

Yeah, yeah

When you've had enough of all your tryin'

Just give up the state of mind you're in.

If you want to be somebody else,

If you're tired of losing battles with yourself,

If you want to be somebody else,

Change your mind.

Change your mind.

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Hey, hey

Whadd'ya say we both go and seize the day.

'Cause what's your hurry? What's your worry, anyway?

Yeah, yeah

I hope you've heard every word I've said!

Yeah, yeah

You've had enough of all your trying.

Just give up the state of mind you're in.

If you want to be somebody else,

If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself,

If you want to be somebody else,

Change your mind.

Change your mind.

Change your mind.

Change your mind.

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah

[StrawberryFields]

When we get into trouble in this area is when we start to compare our selves with others.

Most of the time we see people only at their very best and that is the perception that we believe to be true. Start making some real friends in your ward. Go to lunch with someone who you believe to be perfect and soon you will see that everyone has trials and that every family hurts to some degree. If you are ever fortunate enough to live in a ward that is "close" you will be serving one another through their trials and then you get to feel compassion with the person whom you service and that builds a bond. Really you are no different then most LDS women who strive to live the perfect LDS women role which is reality is filled with a lot of heartache that many do not see.

Believe me when I say You Are Not Alone.

[Acez]

internal conflicts on whether you could of done

something more better...

[Laureltree]

Hmmmm Your not perfect Man..i thought she was I guess i will have to check my friends out better...I mean since I'm so perfect and all Thats me little old molly perfect mormon..un hu ..yepper

Hmmmm WAIT ! I don't wanna be molly mormon...I'll be all alone....ANYBODY THERE HELLO>>>ANYONE...ANYONE AT ALL....

OH...Shewwwwwwwww It was just a dream.......I thought I was going crazy...

HUGS GIRL !!!!!!!!!

[Lindy]

Have you ever battled with your mind? I am so always beating myself up for not being the best mom, wife, and normal person. I always want to be better, but never do anything to be that way.

I feel like I am just not good enough for anything so why should I even try. My poor family could be better if I was a better mom.

jisa~ I battle with my mind a lot..... what is right vs what is wrong.... if we didnt' battle with things.... we would never use our minds to think of alternatives to a given situation. And I agree with everyone else...even the guys make sense.... No one is perfect. We all need to be better at somethings.

I just think your in a slump, and you just need to find a way to motivate. Start with something little..... like read a book to the children in the middle of the afternoon.... or give your hubby a big hug and kiss just at the spur of the moment.... or sit down and color a picture in a coloring book or arrange some flowers in a vase......just for you!

If you don't take care of yourself ..... your attitude and despondency will show towards everyone else. If you can find something to smile about.... it will brighten up the whole family :) Just my opinion

Oh, and by the way.... you say you want to be better, but never do anything to be that way? Guess what? you took that first step! You asked for advice..... good first step if you ask me :)

[jisa]

<span style="font-family:Comic Sans Ms">Thank you to all for your advise. I finally figured what my problem is. My mind is very stubborn and I have a personal problem of praying all the time for help.

This is a strong personal problem and I am a little embarrased to share it. I really feel like I am taking advantage of Heavenly Father when I pray and ask for help. SO I just try and handle things on my own.

I am pretty sure it is Satan having a ball messing with my brain, it is just hard to over come this personal problem of not feeling guilty to pray and ask for help. I know that is what we are supposed to do - to thank God for his blessings and ask for help.

I feel that he (God) thinks that I am just thanking him so I can ask him for help. That is my problem and it is very hard to over come.

Hope that makes since and thanks to all again for your input on my last notes.</span>

[CaptainTux]

The only way you could take advantage of the Heavenly Father was if He was a genie in a lamp, that if rubbed just right, would do our bidding.

If I am praying for something frivolous, like a washboard stomach, I am sure the request will be filed in the appropriate backlog. however, when praying for wisdom on being better parent....the answer will be more immediate.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You can only be the best you that you can be. In the eyes of a loving father, that is probably pretty precious.

[Guest funkyfool]

Have you ever battled with your mind? I am so always beating myself up for not being the best mom, wife, and normal person. I always want to be better, but never do anything to be that way.

I feel like I am just not good enough for anything so why should I even try. My poor family could be better if I was a better mom.

I totally know how you feel. i'm not a mother or wife...but i can totally understand about beating yourself up for not being the best. It's a good thing to want to try and better yourself, but there is a point where we as humans have to realize that we cannot be perfect. Making your family "better" as you say is an entire group effort. You seem like a good enough person for even realizing that you want to better yourself. Recognizing what you want to change is the first step to making it happen. ha..and i seriously wish taht you could give your own attitude right there to my own mother. Ha.

[Fiannan]

Next time you try to be best just go walking on some water. There's only one person who could do itand not get wet.

[Dr T]

Hello Jisa,

Nice to meet you. From my experience parenting is work. You call it a battle. Is the battle with yourself or with your children's behavior? It sounds like you are beating yourself up for not having it down. Is that it or is it that your children are not responding to your attempts? I understand the frustrations that can come from parenting. Paul also comments on the things that he does not want to do, he continued doing:

Rom 7:14 For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.

Rom 7:15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I {would} like to {do,} but I am doing the very thing I hate.

Rom 7:16 But if I do the very thing I do not want {to do,} I agree with the Law, {confessing} that the Law is good.

Rom 7:17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

Rom 7:18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good {is} not.

Rom 7:19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

Rom 7:20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

Rom 7:21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.

Rom 7:22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man,

Rom 7:23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.

Rom 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?

Rom 7:25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

Do you have specific behaviors that you continue to do that you hoped would stop?

Thanks,

Dr. T

[jisa]

I have been doing a lot better lately. To tell you the truth, I will always have that battle with myself. Somedays I am great, others fine, and others not so good feeling personally.

I don't want to get into my handicap, because I don't want people to feel it is an excuse, because I feel it is at times.

19 1/2 years ago I was hit by a care at age 19 1/2. Was in a coma for 10 days and had to learn how to walk, talk, read, and write all over again. I damage my frontal lobe and broke the left side of my head. so my emotions will be shatteres my whole life.

They had to reconstruct my left ear drum etc. It would take pages to get into detail, but I was pretty bad. It happened back on Oct. 16, 1986 when I was going to Ricks (BYU Idaho) College.

I am very bless I have no physically handycaps - it is just my emotions and conprehension are shot. And now I feel like a goof head for telling you this, for I can't even understand myself at times or make any sence.

Thanks for all your feed-backs and have a great week.