Prozac and male depression

[sweetiepie]

New issue I need a little advice for. My husband went on Prozac for the first time about 8 months ago for depression. This was his first time, and his symptoms had been there for a few years actually. Weve been through a lot, and I was pregnant with our 5th child when things got worse for him. Though we generally get along very well and treat each other and our children with respect, he was very emotionally detached from us. He became very unmotivated with work, very snappy at me and the kids, his temper flared easily (not like him generally), and was tired and didn't feel well most of the time.

After years of this, and an ultimative from me at the end of my rope and pregnancy, he went to his doctor and was diagnosed with depression and put on prozac. Now, he has already been to the doctor at this point with some sexual issues, mainly desire. Now all this points that it had to do with his depression.

So long story short, the Prozac was a miracle for his depression. Within a month he was my sweet, loving, motivated, caring, thoughtful husband again. His temper threshold was 10 times better, he was relaxed again, enjoyed life, the kids, got a raise at work after a few months, lost 10 lbs, hasn't felt better. Besides the fact that the Prozac made it impossible for him to orgasm. Like literally impossible. But, at the time, I wasn't complaining...just had a baby, he was feeling better at least.

Ok, so at the 6 month mark, the doctor decides that he should wean off the medicine, because it probably has done its job. I was so worried that it would come back...yeah, 2 months now, and he is starting up again. He is starting to snap at the kids, I can see that little things they do are getting to him more, he isn't patient, he is nit picking at the house if the kids leave anything on the floor, snappy with me, basically I say he is making his stressed "face" again that has been absent before. Its not as bad as it was before, but enough that I can see my sweet husband dissapearing again.

But...he can function sexually again. His desire is better, probably because he can actually feel things again. (That prozac is about as a bad as anything when it comes to sexual issues). He is back to where he was before, which was still low desire, but better than nothing.

So I really want him to get back on something. I don't think he was ready to get off medicine yet. I have had depression and anxiety for most of my life, and I know that I cannot get off mine, or I get my panic attacks and depression all over again. I don't think he should do Prozac, but really can't handle him like this again.

He is worried about the sexual issues as well if he tries something else. Should I force the issue?

[Dravin]

While it would be hard to give up something you know that works it is possible that another anti-depressant will work with side effects that are more palatable. Another option is to possibly play with the dose. Of course while he's experimenting you are left on the edge of the seat wondering how things will pan out.

[LDS_Jay]

I won't get into the details, but I'm on Effexor and Welbutrin, and I have sexual side-effects that can only be described as positive. Effexor also helped me lose weight. Perhaps mentioning this will calm his fears and perhaps motivate him to try something new? It's all about finding the right med and/or combination for you. If he's got unbearable side-effects, nothing is stopping him from switching to something else (with doctor's assistance).

I've tried a million different combos in the past 2 years, still working out some kinks. But if you want you can have your hubby come talk to me on chat or msg me, I'd be glad to talk.

Be careful about forcing the issue. You need to support and not nag I've had relationships go down the tube because the person was overwhelmed by my condition and they simply didnt know how to handle it. Not that I blame them, it must be hell for them, but understanding it a bit better I can tell my significant other "please dont do ____ and ____, it doesn't help". For instance what sets me off is when people say "you should try excersize, maybe talk walks, etc etc".. I've been this way all my life, don't you think I've spent countless hours thinking about what might help, trying different things? People give suggestioins meaning well, but it's just frustrating to hear the same things over and over. I have dysthemia, and no amount of walks or sitting in the sun will help, it is a chronic condition. Medication and lots of support from loved-ones, and prayer.

Good luck!

[ryanh]

________________________________________

It's frustrating, isn't it? My ex had a lower drive than I, and the zoloft prescription just made the situation more difficult.

Fortunately, Prozac is just one of many options for treatment. And while the SSRI medications often do have the effect of lowering libido, each one reacts with each individual's body differently. It may be that one of the other similar medications will treat the depression just as well, but without the libido side-effect.

I wouldn't suggest "force[ing] the issue", but if it were me, I certainly would bring it up and discuss options and hopes. You say he has a concern about sexual side effects of trying another medication. Does he think that trying another medication is any more 'permanent' than taking Prozac? If a new medication has the same, or other, highly undesirable side-effect, then talk to the Dr about finding another alternative. Seems like a simple concern to solve to me.

[Gwen]

i would suggest another med. i have a hard time with side effects. lexapro (?sp) worked well for me, though everyone is different. also if i recall correctly i thought the suggestions for success from the med companies was 1 yr on it not 6 months. did that change?

[rameumptom]

Your husband probably does need to get back on medicine. That said, medicine by itself is not a permanent cure. He also needs therapy and exercise. Exercise works almost as good as many depression meds to help people feel better, and they cause the meds to work better. Therapy teaches a person how to cope with depression in effective ways, so that when taken off the meds, they are not left to flounder, but have other effective methods to deal with the depression.

So don't just go in for the meds. Do the whole program.

[slamjet]

I second what the others said.

I was on Zoloft and Welbrutrin. Zoloft killed any performance and left me frustrated with a wife saying "it's ok." Talk about a beating to my manhood. So I dropped the Zoloft and stuck with the Welbies. Huge difference.

Another problem with Zoloft is weight gain. I can remember sitting in tears because I ate so much I couldn't get anything else down, but I still had this enormous, monstrous appetite that wouldn't be satisfied. I gained over 150# with it. But it helped enormously with my temper. Well, I learned some techniques including the Serenity Prayer and felt I had more control over it. I still get an anger, spike every now and then that I can't suppress so I now have Xanax. .01 mg and I'm able to get myself under control, but that's once every few months.

I'm glad I was on the meds because it gave me the chance I needed to learn coping skills. But Welbies and Xanax will be a permanent part of my life. And I don't mind one bit.

[Elphaba]

Ok, so at the 6 month mark, the doctor decides that he should wean off the medicine, because it probably has done its job.

Is his doctor a psychiatrist? Because this shocks me.

Prozac is not like an antibiotic--it does not "cure" depression and then is no longer needed. Most people with intransigent depression need to be on medication for life, and going off the medicine can be very dangerous for them.

I have no idea if that's your husband or not, but I have never heard of someone, with serious depression, have an anti-depressant work well only to have the doctor later tell him, out of the blue, that he should wean off of it because it's done its job. That's just not how it works.

If he's not, your husband should be seeing a psychiatrist about his depression, not a MD. (ETA: I should have written "GP." A psychiatrist is a "MD.")

As ryan said, Prozac is a SSRI, and SSRIs usually make sexual function impossible. Unfortunately, many people only respond to SSRIs, and it becomes a choice of whether one wants to be able to perform but live with the depression, or not. (I'm not saying one choice is right or wrong, just that it sometimes comes down to that choice.)

Elphaba

Edited December 12, 2010 by Elphaba

[Elphaba]

I'm glad I was on the meds because it gave me the chance I needed to learn coping skills.

I just wrote a post saying people should not go off their anti-depressants, but this is a good example of why it would be okay. Maybe it's why this man's doctor suggested it.

Elphaba

[slamjet]

I just wrote a post saying people should not go off their anti-depressants, but this is a good example of why it would be okay. Maybe it's why this man's doctor suggested it.

Elphaba

But you said it best when you questioned whether it's an MD or a Psych. If it's an MD, run to a Psych. They will be the ones who will REALLY help diagnose and treat the problems.

And when he weens of of Prozac, get ready. He might emotionally crash.

[Saldrin]

I'm on a low dose of Cymbalta and I see a pysch. learning how to deal with the feelings of coming off also can help. if i forget a dose and realize it i can usually control myself, but i think I'm just a weirdo. hope that helps some

[sweetiepie]

Thanks. We got him on Wellbutrin to try out, this last weekend he was pretty snappy and having trouble with his anger. I think he realized as well that the Prozac completely numbs him out, and it was difficult adjusting to having to deal with them on his own again. He seems better after realizing that.

[slamjet]

Thanks. We got him on Wellbutrin to try out, this last weekend he was pretty snappy and having trouble with his anger. I think he realized as well that the Prozac completely numbs him out, and it was difficult adjusting to having to deal with them on his own again. He seems better after realizing that.

Welbrutrin takes two weeks at a minimum to kick in fully. But once it does, he will feel a definite difference for the better. What I like about it is that I can still have bad mood days. Sounds funny but it make me feel real and not on a permanent chemical high. But I'll bet the "snappiness" will be short lived and he'll catch himself where before it would drag on for hours and days. At least that's been my experience.

One thing for him to keep an eye on is dosage. Because I metabolize medication quickly, I have to split my dosage to 100mg in the am and 100mg in the pm (150/150 if it's the XL version). Otherwise I'll crash in the afternoon and get all kinds of headaches and bad emotional states. Some people are just fine with a morning dose. Just a suggestion.

Also, do not take the generic XL. It doesn't work. Unless they changed it in the past few years, it's a totally useless form. The SR generics are generally very good and inexpensive.

Also Welbrutrin is really sensitive to heat and cold. Keeping it in the bathroom, car, or above the fridge will kill it. And I mean DEAD, USELESS! I keep mine in an igloo cooler with my other meds to provide a stable environment. It has worked very well for me.

[LDSVALLEY]

I've been having issue with depression for at least a year. I also have ADD, found out as an adult, the more I tried to deal with things the harder it seemed to get to hold my temper, it was also hard to not distance myself from my family. I am now on Welbutrin in addition to my ADD medication. There has been no issue with the sexual situation that I know of anyway. I have been finding it hard to take an interest in life, always tired, major lack of motivation etc.

I can tell you it makes a world of difference. Last month I found out my job is gone by April at the latest, the plant is closing. We just refinanced our mortgage and in the last month I've had to sink yet another thousand into our van.

Even with all this EXTRA stress the children have been telling my wife that something must be wrong with me because I am carrying on and joking with them more, not loosing my temper as quickly and being more involved with them. While I am taking precautions to deal with the pending job loss, I am dealing with it in a positive manner and especially considering I am of a pessimistic nature I am unconcerned about the long term.

Med's alone are not enough of course, what we eat, how much we sleep, how much exercise we get, and how we prepare ourselves to deal with life issues all play a part as well.

There are many options, find a doctor who knows something about depression not just a GP and explain all the issues and then see what plan you all can come up with.

[drkuelker]

Might be a good idea to pay attention to what you are thinking at the time you are feeling stressed. Sometimes we can have negative thoughts that produce stress without really realizing it. Just watch what you're thinking and then flip it to something positive.

I believe everyone has sometimes in depression. just loss yourself and let them go. not think too much about the trouble!

Psychotherapy Kelowna

Edited January 21, 2011 by drkuelker
removed self-promotion link

[Guest mormonmusic]

You might consider something else -- Cognitive-Based Therapy. It's counselling which helps people direct their thoughts better and has been known to help with depression. I have tried some of these techniques to help me with mild depression I've experienced, and at times it has helped me perceive the world differently, and find happiness.

Also, I had a traumatic experience in the Church a while ago. Very difficult to manage and it floored me. I instantly got pneumonia. It also hurt my commitment, and eventually, I lapsed into my first really strong bout of depression -- to the point I could barely function and took no pleasure in anything during my free time.

The doctor gave me LexaPro and Alprazolam. One is for episodes of depression, taken as needed, and the other is a stablizer. Three weeks on the stabilizer and I was back to my old self. I had no problems with desire during that time that I remember either.

Of course, I'm not a doctor, and the level of my depression may well have been shallow, but those drugs really worked for me.

Regarding forcing the issue -- I would never force an issue on my spouse, unless I was ready to leave the relationship over the issue. So, when my wife wants the family to do something really expensive, I often talk about it, share my concerns, and we negotiate.....I have been known to get enthusiastic agreement on certain issues as conditions for making concessions for the family in spending money or giving my time and resources.

So, if he comes out with something he really wants, and that you object to, consider agreeing on the condition he re-examines the medication issue, or takes new steps. He might agree enthusiastically depending on how badly he wants the thing he's asking for.

Sounds a bit like bargaining, and I guess it is, but it sure has worked for our family. We bargain all the time and call it problem solving. Usually we walk away from successful discussions like these pretty happy with the outcome -- when we can agree on one. You might consider something like it.

[drkuelker]

Best way to get relief from the stress:-

Exercise.

Yoga.

Stretching.

Massage.

Laugh it off.

Edited January 21, 2011 by john doe
removed link

[biggayal07]

deppresion is a evil thing . you need to go through it to understand it . to judge some ones action is wrong . this person is hurting in side prozac is a mask . it gives you your husband back but is not helping him . coming off it returns the issues to the surface. you need to adress the issues that are causing the depression . depresion is in all of us some cope with it better than others . talk to him to get to the source . some time a life change can help in a big way . take it from some one that knows

[Shaunaquin]

Definatly try a new med. Go to a specialist rather than a family doctor... one who knows the meds really well. I was on many different SSRI's over the years but a specialist put me on a SSNRI that works with Seritonin AND Noraepanephrine. (Cymbalta) That was the key. Plus they plus they put me on a mild dose of anti siezure meds to counter act some side effects like insomnia and restless legs. The sexual desire was effected in the beginning but within a couple of months and more experimenting with my husband I was able to over come that. Don't give up!

[pam]

Since this thread was asking for advice almost 2 years ago it's probably not relevant any further. Thread closed.