Prisonchaplain's latest teaching: Loving Enemies

[prisonchaplain]

Here is the audio version...given this past Sunday: Assemblies of God Online Sermons and Podcasts | Angle Lake Neighborhood Church | Angle Lake Neighborhood Church

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

Introduction:

 We may consider ourselves fortunate, being under the New Testament covenant, rather than the Old Testament one. After all, there were 613 commands in Moses in writings!

 Compared to that, following the two commands of Jesus should be simple.

 BUT, Jesus says that we must love our neighbors, and some of them are not very lovely!

 Worse yet, he ups the requirement a bit...telling us we must love our enemies!

 All of a sudden, separating our meat from dairy and avoiding work on Saturday do not sound so bad.

• The reality is that Jesus has allowed us to put aside those Old Testament rituals, but he has charged with a far more substantial missionBto love this unloveable people of this world!

Scripture: Matthew 5:38-48

Eye for Eye: 38 AYou have heard that it was said, >Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.= 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Love for Enemies: 43 AYou have heard that it was said, >Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.= 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Proposition: Jesus command to love our enemies must be obeyed.

Interrogative: How do we love our enemies?

Transition: We need to break this passage into simple statements, and understand each. The first is the oft-quoted revenge justification.

I. What is An eye for an eye?@

A. It is justice.

1. Exodus 21:23-24

23 But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, 24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

2. If someone assaults another person, s/he must endure the same suffering that has been caused.

B. Apart from grace and mercy, it is the only means of closure.

1. Revenge--payback time!

2. Controlled retributionto prevent vigilantism, or even feuding.

C. It was a compromise law to control hard hearts.

1. Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of men=s hearts.

2. Perhaps “eye for an eye” was the same.

Transition: If it is not ideal for us to get revenge, what can we do?

II. What is Aturning the other cheek?=

A. It is godliness.

• A fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Example of Patrick Swayze in Road House.

2. The mind of Christ: THIS ONE WHO WOULD HUMILIATE ME IS IN DANGER OF HELL-FIREBSURELY HIS SOUL IS MORE VALUABLE THAN MY PRIDE!

B. Romans 12:17, 19

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ... 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God=s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

1. It is protection from wrong-doing. If we strike back in anger we may say and do what we do not intend to.

2. Be angry and sin not.

3. It is making way for God=s wrathBwhich is perfect.

Transition: Jesus not only expects us to give up our pride physicallyBbut also legally.

III. What is “surrendering to lawsuits?”

A. It is a fruit of the Spirit: peace.

B. It is the mind of Christ: SURELY THE PLAINTIFF'S SOUL IS MORE VALUABLE THAN THE ITEM IN QUESTION...MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY PRIDE IN PROVING THAT I AM RIGHT.

C. Note that the tunic in this command is an important possession.

1. It=s not the family home

2. Neither is it a $40 jacket.

3. I cannot advise you today on whether Christians should never ever fight a lawsuit (i.e., if they were going after your retirement fund, or your house)

4. What is important is to catch the truth Jesus is proclaiming.

a. Too often we fight for what is ours--insisting on the righteousness of our selfishness.

b. Rather than expressing love, grace and mercy to folk that may not deserve it. After all, is that not what grace is . . . undeserved favor?

Transition: Giving in to unreasonable demands includes our time and labor.

IV. What is “going the extra mile?”

A. The custom of seeing people off.

1. How I failed my date.

2. How the sense of koinonia is enhanced by it.

3. Note that Jesus says that if we are FORCED to go a mile, go two.

a. What if the boss asks us to do something, and it is not our turn?

b. Perhaps by smiling, and saying, ACertainly, sir.@ instead of making a complaint that could well be legitimate, we take control of the situation?

c. Instead of being forced to do what you are not supposed to have to do, we might volunteerBgoing the extra mile.

Transition: Jesus really hits us where we hurtBhe says give up your grasp on your money.

V. What is “giving to those who ask, borrowing to those who ask?”

A. This one is truly hard.

1. Drug addicted relatives.

2. Moochers.

3. Ill-conceived business ventures by friends or relatives.

4. The dozens of solicitations we receive by phone, mail and door every year.

B. Rather than get caught up with the supposed impracticality of the command, let us catch the spirit of it.

1. The average American gives 2% to charity.

2. The average Christian is probably close--perhaps reaching 2.5%.

3. In the highest giving Protestant churches--Pentecostals and Baptists--the giving is 5%.

4. Yet, the Scriptures tell us that the tithe on the gross of our income. 10% is bare minimum in the eyes of God.

a. That means the best churches achieve 50%. How many know that on any test you take 50% is failing? SEE, NOW I'VE GONE TO MEDDLING. BAD GUEST SPEAKER...BAD!!!

b. Keep in mind also, that what is really happening is that a few people are tithing, and the rest are putting a buckin the plate.

5. The story of the child who thinks church is a good show for a buck.

6. Jesus is sayingput others first.

a. Stop hoarding.

b. We say, “Share the love.” Does our checkbook demonstrate our love?

Transition: All of these commands boil down to the most difficult one Jesus ever uttered.

VI. What is “loving your enemy?”

A. Who are the enemies?

• For our inmates it might be the prosecutor, false witnesses, or family and friends who betrayed them.

2. For us it might be the psycho neighbor with the garage band, who complains anytime your dog utters more than one yelp.

3. More seriously, it might be family or loved ones who betrayed a sacred trust.

4. In reality, we do not have to think very long or hard to conjur up a substantial enemy list.

B. So, what to do?

1. With the help of God, we certainly should defend our families, and ourselves from serious danger.

2. BUT! . . . We pray for your enemies.

a. We hold no bitterness against them. We give that to God.

b. Whenever possible, we seek reconciliation.

CONCLUSIONS

Too often we dismiss this section of Jesus' commandments as being too hard to even try.

Jesus saysstart to do what you can, and the Holy Spirit will empower you to do what you must.

Give revenge over to God--it doesn't belong to you anyway!

Give pride over to God--and anger too.

Give your need to be proven right (even if you are!) To God. So often it is better to compromise on a dispute, even when you know that you know that you know that it is 99% the other guy's fault.

Give your time and labor to God. Be ready to do what you are not supposed to have to doso that men may see your good works and glorify your God in heaven.

Give your bank book to Godand let him distribute some of the monies to those who need it.

Give your love to God, by directing it toward your neighbors. Your heart may not swell with immediate affection for your persecutors, but maybe you can do one good deed? Amen.

Edited December 6, 2010 by prisonchaplain

[NeuroTypical]

I'm a living example of the blessings that come from forgiving and loving folks who have done horrible things. Figure out how to forgive people. Figure out how to love them. Fight with yourself until you've won this battle - it is worth it. Even if they betrayed your trust and robbed you, even if they molested you or a loved one. No matter what they did, your job is to forgive and love them.

You'd be surprised at how many people don't understand what forgiveness and love means, and what it does not mean. Satan does some of his best work in muddling these terms and keeping us from filling the commandments.

It's always good to see people grappling with the nuts and bolts of this commandment. Sometimes I think the rest of the Christian world could use that little extra oomph we get from D&C 64:9. (Well, sometimes I think we mormons could use a little more thought on it too.)

LM

[prisonchaplain]

I heard an interesting solution proposed by Dr. Laura, on her show yesterday, to a dilemma that touches on this issue. A lady had lost 30-pounds, in part, to look and feel good for her 50th birthday. Her husband surprised her with a new Jaguar car. Her mother quips, "You know he only got you the car because you lost the weight." Then mother tells the daughter's personal training the same thing.

Daughter is hurt by this, and stews for awhile. Finally, after a few weeks, she confronts her mother. Mother denies having said such a thing, and says the personal trainer is a liar. Daughter reminds her mother that she did not hear this from the trainer, but directly from her. Mother then calls daughter a liar.

A week later they make up. Mother offers an apology of sorts, daughter says it was not such a big deal. Then, a few days later, father comes over and berates daughter for giving mother such a hard time. He tells her she's been a thorn in her mother's side since she was born, that her mother never says mean things, and why does daughter always have to stir things up?

So...daughter asks father to leave.

Now Christmas is coming. Does this daughter need to host the big family gathering as usual? Her own daughter (12-years old) says that apologies are not as important as family. Dr. Laura says she should not host such a party, should not engage in a shallow apology session, but rather should put distance between herself and her destructive mother. She further suggests that father's life is made miserable by his wife, but he has chosen to transfer the blame to his daughter. It is likely, says the good doctor, that if the party goes on, these parents will try to turn their grand daughter against her mother, and play the victims.

So...is it possible to forgive and to "love enemies," while maintaining distance?

[Guest]

I heard an interesting solution proposed by Dr. Laura, on her show yesterday, to a dilemma that touches on this issue. A lady had lost 30-pounds, in part, to look and feel good for her 50th birthday. Her husband surprised her with a new Jaguar car. Her mother quips, "You know he only got you the car because you lost the weight." Then mother tells the daughter's personal training the same thing.

Daughter is hurt by this, and stews for awhile. Finally, after a few weeks, she confronts her mother. Mother denies having said such a thing, and says the personal trainer is a liar. Daughter reminds her mother that she did not hear this from the trainer, but directly from her. Mother then calls daughter a liar.

A week later they make up. Mother offers an apology of sorts, daughter says it was not such a big deal. Then, a few days later, father comes over and berates daughter for giving mother such a hard time. He tells her she's been a thorn in her mother's side since she was born, that her mother never says mean things, and why does daughter always have to stir things up?

So...daughter asks father to leave.

Now Christmas is coming. Does this daughter need to host the big family gathering as usual? Her own daughter (12-years old) says that apologies are not as important as family. Dr. Laura says she should not host such a party, should not engage in a shallow apology session, but rather should put distance between herself and her destructive mother. She further suggests that father's life is made miserable by his wife, but he has chosen to transfer the blame to his daughter. It is likely, says the good doctor, that if the party goes on, these parents will try to turn their grand daughter against her mother, and play the victims.

So...is it possible to forgive and to "love enemies," while maintaining distance?

I'm usually with Dr. Laura on things but this one... I completely do not agree with.

First of all - I would think that this is not the first time this kind of backtracking talk happened (judging by the Dad's comments and Dr. Laura's inference that this will happen in the future). Therefore, when the mother says stuff like that, the daughter should have already forgiven her and not take such offense to it as to have to discuss it again. So what if she said I got a jaguar for losing the weight - I should know my husband better than that!

Therefore, the forgiveness starts immediately after the statement was made and although the daughter feels hurt, forgiving the mother is the balm that heals that wound. So that by the time Christmas comes around, the family is together again peacefully.

In the meantime, she should maintain close communication with her daughter so that her daughter can parse truth from lies on her own and then be able to forgive the moment grandma tries to sucker her into putting a wedge in that relationship.

So yea, Dr. Laura - for a pro-family woman, you missed the boat on this one!

LOVE and FORGIVENESS are not conditional.

[prisonchaplain]

Without knowing the details of their family dynamics, I'll simply propose a scenario in which Dr. Laura may have a point. If the mother is truly out to sabbatoge her daughter, out of some jealousy, or twisted vision of the world in which her daughter is the source of all heartache...then, it may be that forgiveness does not have to equal the status quo ante. We don't put new drugs before an addict because we've forgiven them for past use. We don't put bottles of booze before the alcoholic who's been sober for five years, out of a misguided sense of "forgive and forget." The child molester will never be alone with my children, no matter how deep my forgiveness runs. So...if mom is "addicted" to sabbatoging her daughter, it may be that the best way for her to forgive, is to put a psychologically healthy distance to the relationship. In so doing, might it not be that daughter will stop enabling her mother's behavior?

[NeuroTypical]

So...is it possible to forgive and to "love enemies," while maintaining distance?

I'm surprised that a prison chaplain would ask the question.

I know a lady who escaped out of a family where there was numerous cases of incest. She tried to work with her parents and brothers, until the incest started impacting the next generation of kids - including a 4-5 yr old boy and 8 yr old girl. Well, this lady has her own kids to raise, and the deep scars of her abuse leaves her weak and vulnerable around her brothers and parents. Various members of that tightly-knit family are a known threat to her kids.

Yes indeed you can love someone from a state away. You can love someone while making it clear you'll have them arrested for tresspassing if they show up. You can love someone while aiding the prosecution that results in a 5-life sentence for aggrivated sex abuse of a minor. You can love someone while standing with the victim's family at a parole hearing (also known as standing against the perp.). You can love someone while learning how to carry and use a gun, should the incarcerated brother get out and seek vengence against those that put him there.

It comes down to knowing what love and forgiveness is, and what they aren't. Love and forgiveness does not mean you expose your children to harm. It does not mean being a doormat. It does not mean willfull blindness to obvious threats. You do not abdicate stewardhip over your children because of the commandments to love and forgive. It does mean doing what you can to keep someone this sick from harming others. It means even though you spend much prayer time asking God to help these people get rid of this horrible cancer, you don't walk blindly.

LM

Edited December 8, 2010 by Loudmouth_Mormon

[prisonchaplain]

LM, you present the clear cut example. It is real and more common than we want to know. Family love and the lines drawn with "verbal abuse," jealousies, difficult personalities, people who are just mostly negative, etc. are sometimes harder to discern.

[NeuroTypical]

Very true.

Love might mean, but IMO doesn't always mean, having to carry on family traditions after you're all grown up. Or living 5 minutes away from someone. Or having lunch once a week. Or going to the family reunion. Or whatever.

Something many of us suffer from, is looking at change as evidence that someone doesn't love us or hasn't forgiven us. But we've ALWAYS had thanksgiving dinner here! Please, can't we set aside that thing I did three years ago and just go back to the way things were? ** But uncle Bob is always that way, and we've just always put up with him! Your boatrocking means you need to work on forgiving him. ** But all my other kids live close to me - why do you have to be so far? Don't you love me? Are you still carrying a grudge for that thing I did?

I might be the wrong person to ask about the lesser, more common difficulties we face living around each other. But my general attitude is that no really, living 300 miles away, updating your blog weekly with pictures, and being polite and civil when in the same room - all that goes a long way to loving someone you don't want to be around. And if someone is a recurring source of harm, stress, grief, or extreme unpleasantness, then maybe loving them means giving them less opportunity to be that difficult person they always end up being. Allowing someone to be comfortable and secure in their choosing to act like a jackass year after year, doesn't sound like a good definition of Love to me. Teaching your kids through example, that you have to endure abuse because you're related to someone? I foresee myself having a hard time explaining that one to the righteous Judge I'm kneeling down before and giving an accounting to.

LM

Edited December 8, 2010 by Loudmouth_Mormon