Radio_Religion Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Hi, I'm a long time reader but recetly joined. I have a question regarding when I need to see the bishop. To try and make a long story short I had been inactive for roughly the past 3 years upon which time I met and fell in love with another inactive church member. She and I dated for a year and lived together for 3 months. One day out the blue she decided she wanted to be mormon again and dumped me. In an act of desperation I agreed to go back to church in order to keep us together. She had several mental issues and eventually broke up with me anyways and moved several states south of me. Faced at a crossroads I decided I wanted the church back in my life regardless of my ex. However, I have been faced with a recent dilema. I have been going to church for the past 2 months regularly and don't really know anyone outside of the missionaries and a roommate of mine who attends. My conversion back to the church has been a slow one but I do manage to get some scripture reading in and have been saying my prayers when I get the will power to. My question is.... Do I need to talk to the bishop about my past mistakes? I'd rather not spell everything out but as you can probably imagine living with my past gf I hadn't exactly been chaste. Am I ok to just ask for forgiveness? Or is this something I need to see the bishop about? I don't think I should ask the sis. missionaries :) For the record. Before I left the church I was ordained an elder but never recieved my endowments. Does this affect anything? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizzy16 Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 I suggest going to the bishop and telling him while you were inactive you moved in with someone. When in doubt always see the bishop..its better then trying to resolve things yourself and ending up in a very bad place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CopenKagan Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 While I'm not going to tell you that you have to talk to the bishop, I will highly recommend it. And yes, the fact that you are an elder will complicate things a bit. But it's nothing that you will be ex-communicated for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanh Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Read The Miracle of Forgiveness by President Kimball. He sets out some good guidelines in there regarding when to confess and when it is not necessary. I think President Kimball would assert that your situation is one where confession to appropriate priesthood authorities (your Bishop) is necessary for true repentance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 The reason you should see your Bishop is so that you don't have to come to forums because of concerns over past actions. You will feel much better when you do. If you are an Elder and it involves Law of Chastity, you may end up seeing your Stake President as well. But, don't sweat it....you will leave knowing that you are clean or well on your way to becoming clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Need? No. But at the same time, it might be nice to have someone to talk to about everything. Spiritual counsel, if you will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Need? No.But at the same time, it might be nice to have someone to talk to about everything. Spiritual counsel, if you will.Need...YES. I am guessing here, but, if he lived with her, they were most likely breaking law of chastity...so definitely... YES. Confessions of sexual transgression is required for repentance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 Need...YES. I am guessing here, but, if he lived with her, they were most likely breaking law of chastity...so definitely... YES. Confessions of sexual transgression is required for repentance.I guess my question is... how long in the past was this? How long in the past during a different time of life is "confess to the bishop" time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 I guess my question is... how long in the past was this? How long in the past during a different time of life is "confess to the bishop" time?The Church doesn't do a statute of limitations.In fact, the person that said this isn't something he will be excommunicated can't really say that. It seems unlikely Church discipline would follow, but it is still the prerogative of the bishop and stake president to decide if this is necessary.However, the Church Handbook of Instructions specifies that leniency is in order when the transgression was a long time ago, the member has demonstrated remorse and a change in attitude, and has forsaken the sin. But sins of a serious moral nature should still be discussed with the bishop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted January 6, 2011 Report Share Posted January 6, 2011 I guess my question is... how long in the past was this? How long in the past during a different time of life is "confess to the bishop" time?In the CHI, it mentions that confession sometimes concludes the repentance process when the transgression occurred long ago and has long since been forsaken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CopenKagan Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 The Church doesn't do a statute of limitations.In fact, the person that said this isn't something he will be excommunicated can't really say that. It seems unlikely Church discipline would follow, but it is still the prerogative of the bishop and stake president to decide if this is necessary.However, the Church Handbook of Instructions specifies that leniency is in order when the transgression was a long time ago, the member has demonstrated remorse and a change in attitude, and has forsaken the sin. But sins of a serious moral nature should still be discussed with the bishop.I guess I should clarify on what I said.If you go to the bishop with the intent of cleaning up your act and making a sincere effort to better yourself, you probably won't be excommunicated. If you go to him and basically tell him that you are only there because you need to be and that you don't think what you did is wrong, your chances greatly increase. But even at that point, you wouldn't be excommunicated just for the chastity issues. It would be because of that and the fact that you don't have anywhere near the right attitude.Before I got married, I talked to the bishop because I had been with 2 women. This was during a time in my life when I wasn't active and I didn't really care to be either. When I talked to the bishop, I explained that it was several years prior and that I had spent time praying and asking for forgiveness. The fact that I hadn't done it in such a long time and the fact that I was asking for forgiveness from the Lord helped me a lot when I told him. He basically said that since I had forsaken it and prayed regarding it that I was worthy to enter the temple after meeting with him and the presidency. I didn't have to bring it up with the stake presidency or anything either, though I did mention it in a meeting just to be safe (he quickly dismissed it as I had already spoke with the Bishop about it). But at the time, I only had the Aaronic Priesthood. The thread starter will have a little bit more complex repentance process, but I really doubt that excommunication will even be on the table as long as he is truly sorry for his actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radio_Religion Posted January 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 Thanks for the replies. The reason I came here first asking if I should even go is because I have never spoken with or even met the bishop in the ward I attend; so asking someone here would be just as random for me. I'm trying to get the motivation to attend more activities outside of the normal church meetings but for now I'm just attending regular services. Not that this should effect what I do, but before my ex completely cut off contact with me she told me that she confessed to her new bishop (in a ward several states south) and he told her to quit taking sacrament for a few weeks and then to meet with him once a week for 2 months, after which they would see about getting her back into the temple. Part of me is skeptical she told him everything given that she had her endowments at the time. I wouldn't be suprised at a disfellowship for me, however, I would be pretty shocked if the stake president decides I need to be excommunicated. Well, I guess the next step is getting the courage to actually talk to the bishop whom I've never met Wish me Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted January 7, 2011 Report Share Posted January 7, 2011 Not that this should effect what I do, but before my ex completely cut off contact with me she told me that she confessed to her new bishop (in a ward several states south) and he told her to quit taking sacrament for a few weeks and then to meet with him once a week for 2 months, after which they would see about getting her back into the temple. Part of me is skeptical she told him everything given that she had her endowments at the time. I wouldn't be suprised at a disfellowship for me, however, I would be pretty shocked if the stake president decides I need to be excommunicated.Well, I guess the next step is getting the courage to actually talk to the bishop whom I've never met Wish me Luck!I think it's easier to speak to people I've never met. Less awkward, no expectations.Eh, don't be skeptical about what your ex says. There's nothing you can do for it. Not your problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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