Should I talk to my bishop?

[Silas381]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year now, and we feel like we're ready to get married in just a short manner of months. But something has been troubling me for the past little while. At the beginning of our relationship and for nearly 6 months following, we did a very good job of keeping the law of chastity. We wouldn't even make out. At the beginning, we both expressed to each other how we have incredibly overpowering libidos because we wanted to be able to enter the temple worthily. The fact that we were able to overcome these enormous sexual urges while we were together was very commendable. Throughout our relationship we've kept in steady contact with the bishop, and he feels like we're ready to get married as well.

The problem is that around the Christmas season, we started making out. We were foolish, and believed that we weren't doing anything wrong. Y'all can say what you want about how making out isn't so bad, but as I mentioned earlier, we are both aware that we are more sexually charged than most people. That's part of the reason we want to be together. Neither of us wants to be married to someone who doesn't at least try to satisfy that huge current of sexual energy we both possess (I'm not suggesting that that's the only reason we want to get married). Making out arouses us more than it does other people. For us, making out = bad.

Anyways, a couple of times while we were engaged in this (at the time, seemingly non-dangerous) activity, I came to orgasm. It takes nearly no effort for me to reach this state, and has been an overwhelming struggle for me since i went through puberty. I used to be addicted to masturbation, and often, I would do it 5 to 6 times a day. It was incredibly difficult to overcome this, because, unlike other guys, it doesn't take much more than a touch for me to get that far. And apparently if I'm kissing too passionately, it's easy to get that far as well.

I believe making out arouses her as much as it arouses me. To protect her anonymity, as well as to protect her from embarrassment, I'm not going to describe how I know this. But we've made the decision to abstain from making out, keeping our kisses small, short, and sincere rather than long and drawn out. And we've been doing very well with that for the past couple months.

I know that what we did was wrong, and I've confessed to my Heavenly Father that I feel remorse for what we did. We've stopped doing it, and are doing well at keeping ourselves morally clean. But is this an issue that needs to be discussed with the bishop? I've never touched the private, sacred places of her body on top of clothes or underneath because I want to respect her. I'm trying to be chaste, but I wonder if this is an issue that, if not cleared up with a bishop, will keep me from entering the temple.

I'm not yet endowed. But I do feel bad that I allowed us to get carried away with this. Though both of us are so easily aroused, neither of us consider that an excuse to behave irresponsibly. We're both very critical of ourselves. Personally, sometimes my friends say I'm too critical. I just want to do what's right.

Complicated issue. Someone please help me?

Edited March 28, 2011 by Silas381
clarification

[MorningStar]

I think that's a great question for your bishop. Also, I don't think it's safe for anyone to make out.

[slamjet]

If making out = petting (groping) then yes. If not, I'm not sure, I don't see it being necessary. But if it's a question, ere on the side of caution.

And I'd be careful in thinking you are both sexually charged thus you are compatible because it's an "it depends" kind of situation. After marriage, life get pretty heavy with all kind of responsibilities and that part of your relationship will take on a different completion. There needs to be more than that to be marriage compatible. So I hope you both have talked about where you realistically see yourselves five years down the line.

In any case, it's a good thing that you both are able to recognize, agree and pull back from being too physical with each other.

[Jennarator]

Talk to the bishop. He either says, "Good thing you came, I will help you repent," or "Good thing you took care of that with Heavenly Father. You did the right thing."

Either way, you can movie on, get rid of the guilt, and move twards the temple sealing. :)

[sweetiepie]

Ok, I think that we are all have a "huge current of sexual energy" when we are making out with our intended others. I was a chaste mormon girl when I my husband, and we "made out" I felt we were the same way. I could O by making out too, without him actually touching me there. It does go down when you are married for a while and real life begins...just new and exciting makes it much more intense.

We went to the bishop because of this, (we were engaged) and he was awesome about it, and got us married in the temple quick!!

[The_Phoenix]

Y'all can say what you want about how making out isn't so bad, but as I mentioned earlier, we are both aware that we are more sexually charged than most people.

I know you are young and believe this, but strong sexual desire is nothing new. This is why we are counseled to keep it under control and be careful. Then of course after you are married; go crazy! In fact the scriptures tell men to “rejoice with the wife of thy youth”. If you feel you have gone too far, see your Bishop. He is there to help.

[mom3gma5]

As I'm sure you realized, the largest sex organ on your body is your brain.

Put your mind someplace else, put your hands to work in service, and get on with life until your sealing is final.

You have your whole life to enjoy each other, and only a little while to prove to Heavenly Father your worthyness. I liked the earlier advice to talk to the Bishop; either way, it's the right step!!

Hang in there!

[Backroads]

I would say just keep it between you and God unless it really does come out of control. You seem to realize that you're crossing the line, and sometimes it takes a scare like this to help you realize just how close you are coming.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I agree with Backroads on this one. I say resolve never to do it again, and get married as fast as possible so you can enjoy the physical blessings of marriage without guilt.

[blackknight5k]

It wouldn't hurt to go to the bishop, though it may be a little embarrassing. I honestly don't see it as fornication or breaking the law of chastity. It's good you recognize you need to hold back on the makeout sessions.

However, i do suggest you go see a doctor about it. Masturbation of that frequency for an extended period of time can cause some issues like what you're experiencing.

[MrBallroom]

You two are remarkably self and well-disciplined. You realize you have gargantuan libidos; you know your limitations, you seem to know where the lines are drawn, and are doing your best not to go into forbidden territory, and that speaks volumes about your honesty, integrity, and the strength of your character.

Continue to keep your dating in places where there are a lot of people around, and after your wedding, you not only need not worry about being alone, you can lock the door form the inside!

The best things in life are not only free, they are well worth waiting for, and very much worth the sacrifices that need me made in order to achieve them!

Good luck to you both in maintaining the worthiness needed to enter the House of the Lord! 

[Guest SisterofJared]

I personally would say you do not need to discuss it with the bishop because 1) you have NOT engaged in sexual intercourse and 2) You have not been touching intimate body parts and 3) you have made a mutual committment to not engage in activity (make out) that you recognized as the source for your out of control feelings. IMO, while some people neglect to talk with the bishop when a talk is needed, even more people rush to talk with the bishop when it is not needed. You have the capability to repent and change many things on your own, this appears to be one of them. If you were struggling to control your passions and just didn't know why... perhaps some counsel would be helpful. You know the cause and you know the solution and have jointly chosen it. Between you and your fiancee and the Lord, you can handle it. Good luck, and best wishes for a lovely and blessed future temple marriage!

[AltF4Aveon]

he's a pedophile. talk to a psychologist instead.

lmao

u mad?