Hiding my Interest in LDS

[Ratchet]

I don't think my parents would approve my being interested in Mormonism and I'm concerned about how they would respond if they saw the book of Mormon on me. I do want to get to a ward sometime but they have 3 hour services. How have you handled such pressure and did you honestly tell your parents and friends about becoming a Mormon (I'm not a Mormon yet but thinking hard about it)? I could use some advice.

[Captain_Curmudgeon]

Sneaking never pays.

[a1000tears]

I was in the same situation when I was a teenager. It was hard. I'm not going to lie to you. I think you should discuss it with your parents, they could either surprise you or they could forbid you from it. My parents and family members were not very supportive. They allowed me to search and study the church but during that time they did everything they could to tell me the bad things and they tried to scare me away from it.

Looking back, I'm glad I did share it with them because by the time I was really ready to join the church they realized that they could not sway me from it. Still many years passed and during that time examples helped them see that the church wasn't so bad and now they are pretty much accepting of it. They don't understand the church but they have realized that the church has made me a better person.

I would discuss it with them. Honor their wishes so that they can see that the church isn't trying to "steal" you away and brainwash you. Invite them to study with you if at all possible. If not, let them know that at some point you will study it out, but for now you will honor their wishes. Once they realize this is something that you really mean and intend to follow up on, they may change their mind. If not, then honor them. That will show them your maturity about the situation.

If they do allow you to study it, be prepared for some backlash and adversity..it will come.

Pray Pray Pray, that will give you answers to your questions and allow you to face any adversity in your life.

I know that bringing up a subject like this can be daunting especially if you have grown up with a particular faith, sometimes parents can feel rejected if you decide to leave what you were raised with. Just remember that achieving what we want is never easy but the blessing and rewards can be great.

[Mute]

I don't think my parents would approve my being interested in Mormonism and I'm concerned about how they would respond if they saw the book of Mormon on me. I do want to get to a ward sometime but they have 3 hour services. How have you handled such pressure and did you honestly tell your parents and friends about becoming a Mormon (I'm not a Mormon yet but thinking hard about it)? I could use some advice.

Your profile says you are 26 years old. Every family is different. For me personally, I'd rather be open with those I care about most than not be able to tell them how I really feel. I was worried if my parents would accept me after I told them I was no longer a part of their religion. In the end, they still accepted me. My mother showed me kindness and love regardless of my choice. She was very accepting in saying that I needed to do what I felt was right for me. My father still preached a lot but he was accepting of me not believing as he did. He was an atheist for 30 years of his life after all so he was able to sympathize.

I think you should tell them. Not just because it will allow you to be more open with yourself but if you're parents can't accept you for what you really believe, that's a problem. It's better to risk having them not accept you for who you really are and what you believe than have them accept you for something you're not. Be open with them. If they end up accepting you regardless of your choice, it will really make you feel better to know that. You have to take a chance. I hope it works out for you.

You could also try telling them why you believe as you do. That might make things easier. Then again it might not and could result in an argument but you don't know until you try. Good luck to you.

[Gatekeeper]

I don't think my parents would approve my being interested in Mormonism and I'm concerned about how they would respond if they saw the book of Mormon on me. I do want to get to a ward sometime but they have 3 hour services. How have you handled such pressure and did you honestly tell your parents and friends about becoming a Mormon (I'm not a Mormon yet but thinking hard about it)? I could use some advice.

Ratchet, you've received some good advise here already. But I will tell you that the blessings your family will receive will be worth your spiritual efforts in the long run. My own story is far from the previous posters. Just follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost by earnest prayer. The Book of Mormon is true.

As for 3 hour services, just stay for an hour at first. Then maybe you will stay longer as the spirit moves you. Be blessed!

[Backroads]

I agree very much with Mute. Twas well-spoken.

I'm against people keeping secrets like that. Now, if you were a teenager living at home with a legitimate worry that your parents wouldn't approve, maybe telling them wouldn't be the best move (and in that situation, I would limit sneaking around behind their backs.)

But as an adult who can take care of yourself, your parents really no longer have any power over you. Should you be rude about it or preachy? Of course not. But there is no sense in hiding who you are. If you trust your parents to trust you, they'll feel less defensive, no matter what their personal feelings on the LDS church are.

[a1000tears]

Mute, thanks for the mentioning the profiles. I'm still new to the forum and trying to navigate the website. I had no idea of what age the poster was originally, I never thought to look at someone's profile. :)

[jayanna]

Mute, thanks for the mentioning the profiles. I'm still new to the forum and trying to navigate the website. I had no idea of what age the poster was originally, I never thought to look at someone's profile. :)

Don't feel too bad, lost, it is still really great advice for teens who are thinking about joining the church and might read this thread.

Ratchet, I joined the church in my twenties, and I had to live with my parents for a little while because of illness. It was really hard, b/c they felt betrayed. I was up front about it, and they asked me to not pray out loud in their house and they didn't want me to read scriptures. I honored their wishes, but sang hymns whenever they weren't home to cheer myself up. I moved out when my hubby and I got married.

In the long run, though, my honesty has really paid off...It has been 10 years or so and now I can invite them to some activities and they will actually come, because they know that I am up front with them and don't hide anything.

sometimes I think peoples worst fear about our religion is that there are secret, hidden, ugly things that we don't tell them. Lying to them might make it worse, and yet, you wouldn't want to talk about it in every conversation...just when it is brought up, like "what did you do this weekend?" kind of stuff.

Mostly, I would say to be really prayerful and love them...you will be okay.

[The_Phoenix]

I don't think my parents would approve my being interested in Mormonism and I'm concerned about how they would respond if they saw the book of Mormon on me. I do want to get to a ward sometime but they have 3 hour services. How have you handled such pressure and did you honestly tell your parents and friends about becoming a Mormon (I'm not a Mormon yet but thinking hard about it)? I could use some advice.

If you hide it from your parents, they will think the church is responsible for the deception. They are your parents and love you, tell them.

[HEthePrimate]

My mother was under 18 when she wanted to join the Church. However, her parents did not approve, and would not give their permission, so she had to wait until she was of age (and then she immediately got baptized! ).

Even if you are already an adult, I can understand not wanting to upset your family, because they are important to you. But they do need to remember that you are a grownup, and trust that you can make decisions for yourself.

Peace,

HEP

[Backroads]

My mother was under 18 when she wanted to join the Church. However, her parents did not approve, and would not give their permission, so she had to wait until she was of age (and then she immediately got baptized! ).

Even if you are already an adult, I can understand not wanting to upset your family, because they are important to you. But they do need to remember that you are a grownup, and trust that you can make decisions for yourself.

Peace,

HEP

As a minor, I think respect and obedience to your parents outweighs official religous convictions. I believe that changes when you become an adult and your parents have to respect your choices at that point.