Getting Fellowshiped and Making Friends In a Ward

[Guest FixingTheWrongs]

Now that my other problems are starting to be resolved, I'd like to make another change in my life. I'd really like to try and make some friends in elders quorum but don't know how to do it or show I'd like some fellowship.

We have lived in this ward for 6 years, both me and my wife agree this is one of the best wards we have ever been in. However for the past six year we have only been able to attend adult classes and RS/EQ for about 4 months on and off of that time. Callings involving nursery and the library have kept us from being with the adults. A few weeks ago the bishop asked if I'd like to be released and I said YES and asked that whatever calling I might get it would allow me to be with adults for awhile.

Now I know I cannot change others attitudes and in my ward there are a few men who seem to be good friends, so the potential is there. So is there anything I can do to encourage or show that I'm interested in seeking a friend to talk to? Other than just asking "Hey, can we hang out sometime?"

I feel like I'm the Forgotten Elder of the ward.

[JudoMinja]

Socializing is one of my weaker points too, but I just try to do it with little baby steps. I've managed to make a few friends with some of the women in Relief Society by being attentive. I listen to the comments they make during the class, and if I really liked what one of them said, I will let them know at the end. Also, I don't know if your EQ does this, but the RS will occassionally have days where we make introductions at the beginning if we seem to have a few new people. I listen for anything the sisters share during the introductions that could be a common interest and then approach them to talk about it after class.

Signing up and being aware of opportunities to serve can be a good way to make friends too. In my ward, there is a list that gets passed around every Sunday where people can list what kind of service they can do and put down their contact information. I got to tutor and babysit for a couple people thanks to this list, and if you see someone listing a service in something you need help with, you can take down their information.

And, of course, there is always your VT/HT assignments. It's not just a check-up visit. :) It's a great way to get in touch with some other members of the ward and build friendships.

[Backroads]

As someone who suffers from a mild social anxiety disorder... tell someone you're feeling lonely. Most people don't intende to not include others.

[Guest mormonmusic]

I go around and meet a few people and find out what their personal interests are. Some of them I find really interesting and try to deepen the friendship. For example, one fellow was interested in learning construction, so I invited him over to help me with a little construction project. Others have an interest in music so we formed a band. Others just come over to my house once a quarter for an amateur music night. Try making your own fun that overlaps with your own personal interests and the interests of others.

[seeking_peace]

I know that you aren't looking for "hey, can we hang out sometime." But what's wrong with initiating a meeting? Invite another couple (or tow) over for a game night. There are probably several families that feel the same as you do and would love an invitation. If they have kids, make it a family night and have movies or kids games for the kids.

If you don't feel comfortable with a game night, invite someone for dinner. Since my divorce two years ago, we've been invited to the homes of several ward members for dinner. Usually, there are other families invited as well. Sometimes the invitation to join someone for Sunday comes during church. One time, the invitaion took this form, "we are having the missionaries over for dinner. Are you available to join us, and if so, can you pick them up and give them a ride?"

I assure you, every invitation has been welcome. Even the last minute ones. One time, I had a pork roast in the crockpot when we got the Sunday afternoon invitation. I told them I would come, but only if I could bring my roast (it was a very small roast since I thought that I was cooking for two).