Kids are great!

[log2]

Kids are great, aren’t they? And sometimes, they take things so literally. Once my daughter came up to me and asked “Dad, am I supposed to eat this blanket?”

How do you, as a parent, respond to that?

“Why would you even ask that question?”

What would YOU have asked?

She replied “Because the tag on it says ‘not to be removed except by consumer’.”

I’m so glad I was around to answer her before she got too close a look at her bed mattress.

And my son asks me where milk comes from.

Gosh, ‘tis the season of awkward questions.

“Well, girl mammals’ bodies make milk from the food in their blood to feed the babies who can’t eat real food because they don’t have teeth.”

“Where does the milk in the fridge come from?”

“That comes from cows.”

Then… “Oh, I thought it was human milk. What does human milk taste like?”

“It’s super yummy!”

“Can we get some human milk?”

“They don’t sell human milk in the store…”

My daughter got a very concerned look on her face about then, and said “Dad, you are not milking me ever!”

My son says Slim Jims taste like hot dog flavored wood.

And, for an unrelated joke (pun intended): Lawyers are like guns. You want to hold one in front of you during a gun fight.

[HEthePrimate]

I love kids, too. :)

Kids are great, aren’t they? And sometimes, they take things so literally. Once my daughter came up to me and asked “Dad, am I supposed to eat this blanket?”

How do you, as a parent, respond to that?

“Why would you even ask that question?”

What would YOU have asked?

She replied “Because the tag on it says ‘not to be removed except by consumer’.”

I’m so glad I was around to answer her before she got too close a look at her bed mattress.

You're overthinking this! I would have just said, "No."

And my son asks me where milk comes from.

Gosh, ‘tis the season of awkward questions.

“Well, girl mammals’ bodies make milk from the food in their blood to feed the babies who can’t eat real food because they don’t have teeth.”

“Where does the milk in the fridge come from?”

“That comes from cows.”

Then… “Oh, I thought it was human milk. What does human milk taste like?”

“It’s super yummy!”

“Can we get some human milk?”

“They don’t sell human milk in the store…”

My daughter got a very concerned look on her face about then, and said “Dad, you are not milking me ever!”

Again, overthinking! When it comes to the young 'uns, don't give them more information than they ask for! I would have just answered, "Milk comes from cows." If he continues asking questions, then explain further. But if you analyze it too much, you may end up answering questions he didn't intend to ask.

JMO.

My son says Slim Jims taste like hot dog flavored wood.

And, for an unrelated joke (pun intended): Lawyers are like guns. You want to hold one in front of you during a gun fight.

[log2]

Well, me and the kids are very literal-minded. Lacking a specific context, I answered the milk question as it appeared - oopsie! But my daughter's response was just too good to miss.

[jerome1232]

Reminds me of a line from "Meet the Parents" - "I have nipples, would you milk me?"

I think a good list of "Things you've told your children to stop doing" can be even better, my favorite personal one: "Tyler you don't lick the toilet bowl, that is yucky, don't do it again."

ewwwwwwww.

after-thought: These forums have a TON of emoticons, wow.

[Vort]

after-thought: These forums have a TON of emoticons, wow.

Perhaps I should make fuller use of this amazing technology.

[jerome1232]

Perhaps I should make fuller use of this amazing technology.

[Guest]

My son's question when he was nearly 3: "Does your blood shake when you burp?". In the interest of curiousity, I googled it... and couldn't find the answer. LOL.

[applepansy]

Two weeks ago I heard myself say to my grandson "don't kiss the dog's butt"

then I rolled on the floor laughing.

[Vort]

When he was about three, my oldest asked, "How do you make friends?" My wife started explaining about being nice and all that, but he interrupted and said, "No, I mean how do you make them? Bones, skin..."

[Guest]

Okay, happened just 2 hours ago. I pick up my 10-year-old from school, he stands by my car window and asked, "Hey mom, can we please watch Avengers tonight?". And I respond, "Sure! I'd love to see that movie too!". He then turns around to some kids on their skateboards and yells, "Mom says we can watch Avengers tonight!" and all 3 kids jump in car with my son... So, I'm sputtering - "wait, wait, who says they can watch Avengers?", and my son says, "You said!"... yeah, gotta be careful with that WE thing...

[log2]

Well, tonight, my son comes up to me and says he's got an owie on his "cussing finger."

I went ahead and kissed his knuckle while laughing. I asked him who taught him that, because I'd never heard it called the "cussing finger," and he said it's just his word for it.