Zombocom Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Hey guys! I'm trying to set up an appointment with my bishop, and have been for quite some time, but things get really busy in singles wards and I've never even met my bishop. We just changed around a few weeks ago. Stuff gets crazy, etc. So here's my dilemma and why I'm posting: I'm dating a non-member girl who really wants to help me return to the temple. She's great, but the church just isn't for her and I'm cool with that cause I'm not really ready to get married. We make out pretty heavily and there's sometimes petting and groping and recently it's been partially without clothes. A lot of this stuff feels pretty natural to me and goes along with how I dated non-member chicks pre-mission, but it's pretty much all up to me. If I told her we should back off, she'd say "sounds good" and be right there backing me up because she's way supportive, but the problem is I don't really want to. I mean, I want to enough that I'm planning on talking to the bishop about it so I can prepare to take the sacrament and get back to the temple (haven't been in 8 months or so) but It's hard to be the one saying we should back off when we both just want to be closer. Think I'll get put on some kind of probation? or is that only if we've had sex? (We haven't and she's cool with that) Also, how likely is he going to tell me to sack my girl and find a better one who is LDS? (I don't think he will) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Actually, I think he'll tell you to sack the girl because you are heading down the road to sex. Your post sounds so casual--as if you two end up having sex, it's "all cool." Being temple endowed places a huge responsibility on you to keep your covenants. You are toying with them and almost mocking them by taking the Law of Chastity so casually that you keep playing with fire. There's no way for us to tell you what to expect with your Bishop. He has the gifts and authority to help you back to being completely worthy. But, I can tell you that from your post, it sounds to me as if you can expect to have sex with this girl in the next few months if you don't change something about your relationship with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombocom Posted June 4, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Don't get me wrong, my post sounds casual because that's how I am. We both know that sex is something that could ruin our relationship and is not something we want to deal with repercussions of, but that's kind of the point of my wanting to return to the temple; wanting a bit more spiritual strength and support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Then you need to change the way things are in your relationship with her. That may mean break things off completely. That may mean no longer spend alone time with her. That may mean no longer kissing her. It sounds like having sex wouldn't be an issue for her. She is ok with premarital sex. Which means, it IS up to you to put the limits on the relationship. You won't get any support from her if she is willing and desiring sex. And frankly, if she is willing and desiring it, then you REALLY need to put some kind of strict guidelines on your relationship. And stick to them. Because if you are crazy about this girl, then it will be almost impossible to stop the progression of your physical relationship if she isn't even willing to stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 You need to talk to your bishop....and do what he says. I see all kinds of issues here. You have a history of using non-member girls to satisfy your physical urges and you're "cool" with that. You have no desire for marriage but want to engage in one of the privileges of marriage.... If you're willing to engage in an activity....you have to be willing to bear the consequences. And there will be consequences eventually...whether you tell your bishop or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 4, 2012 Report Share Posted June 4, 2012 Repentance requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Temple attendance requires that we are doing our best every day to repent and be worthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted June 5, 2012 Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 You need to be the one who sets the limits, so you really need to think seriously about what it is you truly want, now as well as in the future. Being a member of the church, a priesthood holder, and having been endowed in the temple of the Lord, you should well know you have the far greater responsibility to not allow for risks that can lead to sin, especially when this is not only about you. While this girl's degree of understanding may not be as your own, she is still accountable for her part if and/or when the two of you cross the chastity line, as per that degree of understanding. Even so, especially with you having the greater light you will also bear the responsibility of encouraging a daughter of God to violate His laws. If you truly care for this girl, would you really want to do things that help persuade her to commit sin? That she would be agreeable, as per backing off, as well as you saying she really wants to help you return to the temple, it sounds as though she cares about you a great deal, as well as seeming to have a good and trusting heart, so I would say it behooves you to not take advantage of that situation by letting your desires and passions influence your actions in ways that could harm not only yourself, but her as well. I'm glad you're going to see your bishop. Do not let other busy life things get in the way of that either. There is nothing shameful about being a human being with weaknesses that include desires of the flesh. We all have them in one way or another and to one degree or another. But often we can easily forget how our own acts can influence and harm others in ways that we would really not want if we stopped to think about the ramifications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zombocom Posted June 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 5, 2012 Thank you, Forget-Me-Not. That was perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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