A question of modesty.

[Hala401]

So, I have been studying a Church DVD called, "Doctrine and Covenants, And Church History".

It is quite informative though just reinforces what I have already read about the church. It so makes me wish that I had been born LDS, but then again, perhaps I would not be as fervent about the church as I am now. So many I meet just don't seem to have that thrill.

One thing I have noticed in some of their segments depicting present day time (2010) by the date on the disk, is that even in 2010, young LDS people dressed very modestly, more to my liking. All the hems were mid calf and the sleeves were short and the dresses did not seem very tight.

Well, I am sort of a fashion pilgrimage here, having started church as Muslim, then they thought I looked FLDS because I wore pants with skirts. Hey it was cold. So now I have tried skirts just below the knee, but I have to say that when I sit, I am always fussing with what I feel to be too little attire.

So I had been doing a search for modest dresses, and found a site that says at the bottom of their web page that their clothing meets LDS standards. The clothing is reasonably priced and I ordered one of their dresses. I must say that the models look very nice but I am not sure that their clothes will look nice on me or if I can get comfortable, because I might look too s..y.

In Islam, it is beat into our heads that our attire is not to distract the men. I would have provided the name of the site but did not know if I would break rules.

[Guest]

From Alma 1, speaking of righteous members of the church:

27 And they did impart of their substance, every man according to that which he had, to the poor, and the needy, and the sick, and the afflicted; and they did not wear costly apparel, yet they were neat and comely.

Modest is more than just being covered, as has been discussed on these forums at length. I think it comes down to not drawing inappropriate attention to ourselves, whether that's sexual attention or putting ourselves above others with expensive or flashy clothes (and I've seen women try to "out-modest" others in this regard. . . taking pride in being so very covered up. There are a couple in every ward, it seems, who like to look down their noses at those who aren't wearing ankle-length skirts). It's an attitude of respect for ourselves and those around us.

The scripture also says they were comely, so let's look at what that means:

come·ly adj \ˈkəm-lē also ˈkōm- or ˈkäm-\

come·li·ercome·li·est

Definition of COMELY

1

: pleasurably conforming to notions of good appearance, suitability, or proportion

2

: having a pleasing appearance : not homely or plain

It's not sinful to look attractive. I don't mean we always have to have the latest fashions. Wear what reflects your divinity as a loved daughter of God. I believe that our Father appreciates beauty. If it's in good repair, fits right, and covers what needs covered, it's modest IMO.

[Hala401]

From Alma 1, speaking of righteous members of the church:

Modest is more than just being covered, as has been discussed on these forums at length. I think it comes down to not drawing inappropriate attention to ourselves, whether that's sexual attention or putting ourselves above others with expensive or flashy clothes (and I've seen women try to "out-modest" others in this regard. . . taking pride in being so very covered up. There are a couple in every ward, it seems, who like to look down their noses at those who aren't wearing ankle-length skirts). It's an attitude of respect for ourselves and those around us.

The scripture also says they were comely, so let's look at what that means:

It's not sinful to look attractive. I don't mean we always have to have the latest fashions. Wear what reflects your divinity as a loved daughter of God. I believe that our Father appreciates beauty. If it's in good repair, fits right, and covers what needs covered, it's modest IMO.

I was most taken aback at the tightness of the garments and they are made of Viscos and Lycra, so I ordered the next bigger size. Their policy is that I can return for a larger size in 30 days.

I was very surprised by the difference in the film and what is considered modest today.

I did notice when I was in SLC around the Temple and Church headquarters that most of the women seemed to be very modest. It would not be such an issue but when I was at one of the Visitors Centers I was encouraged to wear shorter skirts. Then later I took someone out there and showed up in one that is shorter, that sister was more pleased, but I kept pulling at my skirt.

Perhaps I will just have to find my own comfort zone.

[Misshalfway]

When my mother was a girl, getting your ears pierced was a huge deal. Now, the church says "one hole per ear."

Things tend to change over time. It's not a completely sterile thing.

[Guest]

Why would they encourage you to wear shorter skirts? That's not something I've ever heard of before. There's nothing wrong with long skirts. Maxi skirts and dresses are all over the place now. There's nothing wrong with skirts just below the knee. :shrug: Could she have been telling you that you can wear shorter skirts if you wish, rather than you should?

[Misshalfway]

I was most taken aback at the tightness of the garments and they are made of Viscos and Lycra, so I ordered the next bigger size. Their policy is that I can return for a larger size in 30 days.

I was very surprised by the difference in the film and what is considered modest today.

I did notice when I was in SLC around the Temple and Church headquarters that most of the women seemed to be very modest. It would not be such an issue but when I was at one of the Visitors Centers I was encouraged to wear shorter skirts. Then later I took someone out there and showed up in one that is shorter, that sister was more pleased, but I kept pulling at my skirt.

Perhaps I will just have to find my own comfort zone.

Finding your own comfort zone is a great place to start! I live that way and I'm totally fine with my choices even if they are different than other members of the church.

For example. The swim suits I buy for my girls are either one piece or a tankini with a longer top. Others I know don't feel good about that and buy suits with longer shorts or even sleeves ( like a surfing shirt.) Luckily now a days there are lots of choices and we can all still feel like we are living a modest lifestyle.

[Iggy]

As a teen, I heard from my YW's leaders that the hem length rule at BYU is the hem must touch the floor when the girl kneels.

That was shorter by a few inches than my Mothers rule of - it must be three inches below the lowest part of your knee, standing with good posture.

Mom did shorten a skirt for me. I came home at lunch to change- my thighs and tush were "freezing". This was in 1968, before slacks were allowed at my High School.

I am more comfortable with a hem length of about 2 to 4 inches above my ankles. Any longer than that and I step on the hem as I get up to stand or walking up stairs. Since the only stairs at Church are outside and made of cement - I absolutely do NOT want to trip and fall onto cement! Not at this age!

The older I get the more I want my clothes to be loose and not binding on me. Even when I was extremely inactive, I never wore revealing clothes. My slacks and jean then were tight- but my blouses/shirts and dresses would have passed the Garment test.

I am not comfortable with the young mothers and teens in my Branch who wear tight fitting clothes. Neither is my Husband. We are having a difficult time finding a place to sit in the Chapel where we won't see Sister Mother of 4 small girls and her tight form fitting dresses with hems three inches above the top of the knee. She sits on the floor with her three youngest and when she goes to sit and gets up, her rear is facing the congregation and you can see the outline of her garment, bra, garter belt w/clips, and etc.

She is a shapely woman, but what she wears is more appropriate for just her and her husband- or non-LDS women.

Hala, have you read - For The Strength of Youth? https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/ForTheStrengthOfYouth-eng.pdf?lang=eng What our youth are encouraged to do & be is also what us adults are encouraged to do and be.

[applepansy]

Most of my skirt lengths are between knee and ankle.

Hala, I'm also confused why she would say your shirt was too long. There is nothing wrong with wearing longer skirts.

Just the opposite bothers me. Leggings do not make a mini skirt modest.