I'm really hurting... Need someone to listen...

[Vort]

Just a suggestion: You will never suffer the pain of seeing his wedding pictures plastered all over his Facebook account if you DON'T HAVE HIM AS A FACEBOOK FRIEND.

[sshannonbb]

Just a suggestion: You will never suffer the pain of seeing his wedding pictures plastered all over his Facebook account if you DON'T HAVE HIM AS A FACEBOOK FRIEND.

He is a friend on FB!! we chatted sometimes too in the past :) i only message him if he message me first!! that's how i am i guess i'm old fashion..

[sshannonbb]

and trust me i will see his wedding pics once he get married.. he might even give me an invitation to his wedding (

[TheOnlyJared]

Why don't you tell him how you feel? Go from there. But Vort is right. If he rejects you and it's too hard for you to handle take him off your Facebook til you're over him. I had to do that... It sucks, but it's necessary.

[sshannonbb]

yeah you're both are right ! i don't think that i am able to tell him anything like that but i do need closure though it's really hard i'm thinking about it though maybe 2 weeks from now since he did just got home from his mission. Yeah i think i will have to unfriend him after i told him that make lots of sense. Should i tell him that i will unfriend him until i'm over him?? or should i just keep it to myself??

Thanks for your advice !!

I hope everything is working out for you ...

[applepansy]

and trust me i will see his wedding pics once he get married.. he might even give me an invitation to his wedding (

Make a clean break. Delete him from facebook. Do not take his calls and do not open mail from him. Write return to sender on it and put in back in the post office unopened.

When we're hurting from a breakup the best thing to do is make a clean break.

I wish you the best.

[TheOnlyJared]

It sounds like you've already given up hope! Why?! You haven't tried to talk to him. How do you know he won't return the feelings? Communication is essential in any relationship. Talk to him. Tell him what you're thinking. Be honest with him! You'll never know for sure if he likes you back if you haven't asked him. If you unfriend him, he's just going to be incredibly confused unless you tell him the truth about how you feel. Stop holding yourself back because you're scared of a negative answer. If you don't ask him, the answer is always going to be no. So what do you have to lose?

[sshannonbb]

The reason why i don't want to persue him it's because i'm 33 and he's only 21!! I have more experience with life ! I feel as if i'm not good enough for him since i am newly divorced! and he is a newly returned missionary and that's the reason why i have given up hope alltogether. It's complicated.

[sshannonbb]

he's online he doesn't really say much to me! sat. he messaged me once and i messaged him back and he still haven't reply back yet !! i don't know why.. and i'm not going to bother him.

[sshannonbb]

we finally chatted earlier !! but i didn't tell him how i feel yet.. though he asked me if i'm dating anyone right now and if my previous marriage is over yet or not.. and if i still have feelings for my ex.. i told him no.. i don't have feelings for my ex and no i'm not seeing anyone right now either.. why is he asking me all of these questions??

[TheOnlyJared]

Would it really hurt to ask? What do you have to lose. If it doesn't work out then at least you know for sure and you can move on with your life.

[TheOnlyJared]

Its hard to tell exactly why he's asking these questions. I don't want to get your hopes up because I really don't know, but most guys who ask those questions are asking them because they're interested.

[sshannonbb]

Yea I know what u mean by that! I'll wait a lil longer to see what he s going to say or do first .. I would really love it though if I can spend a day with him and see if the connection is there I do felt it when he was around me these past 6 months that we have known each other.. I'm sorta close to him as friends and I love our friendship..

[TheOnlyJared]

Then let the friendship grow. Don't back away just yet. Your relationship is still young. I honestly would rather be in your shoes right now. Amber's boyfriend broke up with her which means I have a chance. But we have some major issues to work thru if we're ever going to make it work. I'd rather just meet her and get to know her again. So count your blessings because your chances are MUCH better than mine.

[alucarD1975]

dude he broke up with her, which means you are second choice.....how do you feel about that?

[sshannonbb]

No trust me my chance is not better !! he's a returned missionary i'm sure there are girls in utah who 's probably will fall for him sooner or later he'll forget all about me he have a really great personality and he s attractive who wouldn't want him. I love him soo much it hurts !! as for you yeah just give it sometime with amber. start over and just be there for her as friends and take it from there. that's not too bad.. what i want from him right now is for him to come back here to see me or i go see him and spend sometime with him like normal people and not a missionary... but u know what what's meant to be will always be..

[TheOnlyJared]

If it is meant to be then it will happen. Study it out in your mind. Do what you can and let Heavenly Father guide you. If it doesn't work with him then it'll work with someone else. All you have to do is talk to the Lord. Make Him your best friend and everything will work out for your good. He's the best best friend you could ever have.

[sshannonbb]

Well today i couldn't help it !! i'm tired of keeping it to myself so i emailed him on fb and told him how i feel ! i can't keep it to myself anymore! i just need closure !! and i need to move on if he doesn't respond or feel the same way towards me .. so i just did it.. i'm waiting for him to respond back right now i don't know if he's going to respond back or but i'm tired of crying over this man and daydreaming about him.. if he doesn't like me back i guess i'm going to be crying a whole lot for the next couple of days but at least i know..

[sshannonbb]

i'm hurt! i got my answer he doesn't feel the same way at all.. soo painful..

[sshannonbb]

I just deactivated my fb !! i'm never going to go on there ever again !! i don't ever want to associate myself with him or anyone that knows him ever.. he doesn't feel same way at all.. i'm so hurt.. soo much pain.. how do i get over a rejection?

Edited August 29, 2012 by sshannonbb

[Sharky]

To be honest I think all I'm really looking for is comfort. I've done everything people have suggested to me and I'm working toward those things. But I'm figuring out that all I need is comfort. A shoulder to cry on. Someone I feel really cares and feels my pain. Not very many ppl can do that for me because they either don't have my trust or I'm just not comfortable hugging them. I honestly hate being this dramatic but it's honestly how I feel. I have a very hard time holding that in.

Every once in a while that "certain friend" comes along.

I'm not talking about the romantic or even potential romantic partner. I'm talking about the friend that just seems to have your trust the first time you meet him or her. That person that you just can't help but feel better about yourself & your life when you are around them even if you rarely share what you are feeling or struggling with.

When I was a kid a lady down the street would frequently come by & wash dishes or clean the kitchen. My mom was resistant at first & then she realized that Suzie found comfort in my moms presense. She found some reasurrance in that friendship when all seemed to be falling apart.

All too often we say turn to prayer or turn towards God .... but the reality is, in our times of greatest need, our times of any need great or small, God comes & places in our path those whom He trusts to care for us, to help us, to guide us through those days.

I think we all know, have that "gut" feeling, when we meet someone. We know who we can & can not trust. We know who will be there thru thick & thin. We know who is most accepting of us.

Though life for many of us has taught us not to be trusting.

Look at the people you've recently met, the friends you are making. Did any one of them strike you, instantaniously, as someone you could trust, wanted to trust?

Identify that or those individuals & seek to become better friends with them.

Sure, you don't wnt to go cryng to them, but as you form that friendship with those special people, you will find the comfort you are seeking ... even if it's not in the form of a "shoulder to cry on".

I know it's not easy. I think we have all been there.

A country-western song, Brad Paisley maybe? He tells his girl that if she should look in his rear-view mirror & see all the girls he has "loved" before, that she should not be jealous or wonder, but that she should know that they each one taught him how to love & treat her.

Love & romance is a learning experience. We learn from one so that we can do better with the next.

[TheOnlyJared]

Thank you Sharky. That is exactly how I have felt. I'm finally getting to the point where I'm ok again. I'm still frustrated with the situation. I want so badly to be with Amber. I see her at least every tuesday and Thursday now and I love it. There's no awkwardness, no contention. We just have fun. Everything works when I'm with her. But in my head I'm going crazy because I don't know what she wants. So I come home to my roommate and rant to him about everything. He's that friend I needed. Unfortunately, he doesn't make it all go away. He just gives me someone to talk to. Everyday seems to get better and that's what matters. I no longer feel like crying is the only way to feel better. We'll see how things progress. I'll keep you guys posted.