LDS Baptism without family?

[Hyena]

I'm a convert (with a family who did not at first like Mormons) so here is my $0.02 :)

It usually does not take long for you to get what is known as "a calling" which will put you right in the thick of it! You will be assigned a home teaching/visit teaching route - everyone in the church visits everyone else once a month to make sure everyone is ok, so you will be working with another member, and will be assigned to teach/check on a few families in your area - and someone else will be assigned to teach you. It is a wonderful program, and you will quickly get to know many people through it.

LOL actually that concerns me... I don't know if that is something I'm capable of at any point. Being responsible for someone else or even just meeting random people... I'm not so good with that. In fact, I'm super shy as heck, which is why I was blessed to find this site to speak with people instead of just flat out seeking out local missionaries. Maybe my bishop or whatever will recognize this and treat me accordingly and give me an exception.

[BrendaM]

LOL actually that concerns me... I don't know if that is something I'm capable of at any point. Being responsible for someone else or even just meeting random people... I'm not so good with that. In fact, I'm super shy as heck, which is why I was blessed to find this site to speak with people instead of just flat out seeking out local missionaries. Maybe my bishop or whatever will recognize this and treat me accordingly and give me an exception.

Not to worry! Your Bishop will counsel with you in anything you wish to talk about. He will never push you into any calling you are not willing to take.

Remember though, the Lord needs you to step out of your comfort zone. To expand your knowledge and spiritual self. And we can only do that by serving; accepting that call and know that the Lord will more than make up for our own inadequecies and shortcomings. Believe me, some of the callings I've had....no way I could have done them on my own!!

[BrendaM]

BTW, how's it going? Any closer to your decision on talking to the missionaries?

Asking out of love (not being pushy). :)

[Hyena]

BTW, how's it going? Any closer to your decision on talking to the missionaries?

Asking out of love (not being pushy). :)

I'm touched that you're interested.

I haven't reached out to any yet it being the holiday season and they're probably very busy right now. For now I'm just been slowly trying to make my way through the book of Mormon, Listening to devotionals, and reading whatever's available. Slowly I'm working up the nerve but again I am concerned about how my family will react. But sneaking around in clandestine secrecy feels wrong as well.

I don't know... Guess I still gotta do some more soul-searching.

Thank you!

[skippy740]

Keep doing your soul searching... but I wouldn't ever assume that the missionaries are 'too busy' for teaching anyone! That's their primary duty, purpose and calling. You would be a welcome contact for them and not a distraction for anything else they have going on.

Missionaries that are magnifying their calling are out of their residence from 9:30am - 9:30pm 7 days a week. They only have 1 day per week to take care of personal business, and even that day, they're back on the job from 6pm - 9:30pm.

While they keep busy, there is room for you.

[SanctitasDeo]

I would add that Christmas was pretty slow for us sometimes when I was a missionary. People get busy with celebrations and family and have less time for other stuff. We would have appreciated contact.

[wca32]

Hello!

I can relate a lot to your situation. I was too afraid to talk to the local missionaries in case my family found out so I went on mormon.org one day and clicked on the chat with us sidebar. That day I met two full time missionaries that serve in the referral center. We started talking through chat on Facebook and then moved to Skype for video lessons. They were very patient with me and never pushed or forced anything on me. They have been so wonderful and helpful! If you would like to message me I can give you the contact information so that you can talk to the missionaries over Facebook, Skype, email etc.

[mnn727]

To be honest, I just feel like my life is empty, and the only answer I keep feeling myself tugged towards is Jesus and not through my Catholic church, but through the LDS. I can't put my finger on it. It just... feels right? Like.. coming home? If that doesn't sound too cheesy...

Hyena

I am a convert of almost 20 years now and you are correct, it was like coming home and relearning principles I had forgotten.

I have not read the entire thread yet but Home teachers come over once a month with a short gospel lesson and some fellowshipping and to see how you're doing and answer any questions. They are neither your bosses, your Priest nor anything else other than fellow servants of God.

Within a couple months of your baptism you will be assigned with an experienced member to go out and Home Teach 2-5 families.

Becoming LDS is a lifestyle rather than a once a week thing. The amazing thing I saw about Mormons before I joined was that most of them actually tried to live their beliefs 24/7 (being human they failed in one way or another but they kept trying)

Edited December 20, 2012 by mnn727

[mnn727]

Just to put your mind at ease, Missionaries are not pushy like car salesmen: they will ask you if you want to be baptized, but their primary duty is to teach you and let you decide for yourself.

The missionaries have a series of lessons that help you learn more about the Church and our beliefs, they will invite you to Church, and assuming you go will sit with you, and take you to the Gospel Principles Sunday School class - which is the Sunday School class for investigators and new converts -- depending on the Ward (congregation/Parish) you will likely meet other people that are taking a look at the Church and people who have recently joined.

Edited December 20, 2012 by mnn727

[Hyena]

Hello!

I can relate a lot to your situation. I was too afraid to talk to the local missionaries in case my family found out so I went on mormon.org one day and clicked on the chat with us sidebar. That day I met two full time missionaries that serve in the referral center. We started talking through chat on Facebook and then moved to Skype for video lessons. They were very patient with me and never pushed or forced anything on me. They have been so wonderful and helpful! If you would like to message me I can give you the contact information so that you can talk to the missionaries over Facebook, Skype, email etc.

Thanks! Actually I've been speaking with online missionaries through a chat I met on Mormon.org for about two and a half weeks now and it has been wonderful. I haven't been back here in a bit because I felt I offended a few people with the way I phrased a question or observation a while back so I've been kind of reluctant to participate much out of fear of exasperating the situation.

But the online missionaries have been a dream lately. Thank Heavenly Father for them, I feel I am learning a lot and helping to clear potential obstacles or concerns that I have.

But thank you oh so much for the generous offer.

[Hyena]

Just to put your mind at ease, Missionaries are not pushy like car salesmen: they will ask you if you want to be baptized, but their primary duty is to teach you and let you decide for yourself.

The missionaries have a series of lessons that help you learn more about the Church and our beliefs, they will invite you to Church, and assuming you go will sit with you, and take you to the Gospel Principles Sunday School class - which is the Sunday School class for investigators and new converts -- depending on the Ward (congregation/Parish) you will likely meet other people that are taking a look at the Church and people who have recently joined.

Thank you. I do feel a bit more comfortable. I'm not certain I like the idea of people dropping in to "check up on me" once a week or month or however many times the home teachers drop in to fellowship. I'm kind of a solitary person, and Im starting to experience moderately upsetting issues regarding family and my insistence to pursue potentially converting. It's been a pretty rough period, but the missionaries are patient. They tried to even have me bring my family members to one of our internet chats so they can ask questions and whatever, but they wanted no part in it, which was sad but apparently not quite uncommon. Either way, I'm getting to the point that if the LDS church is where I belong then I'd rather be with God.

[SanctitasDeo]

Thanks! Actually I've been speaking with online missionaries through a chat I met on Mormon.org for about two and a half weeks now and it has been wonderful. I haven't been back here in a bit because I felt I offended a few people with the way I phrased a question or observation a while back so I've been kind of reluctant to participate much out of fear of exasperating the situation.

But the online missionaries have been a dream lately. Thank Heavenly Father for them, I feel I am learning a lot and helping to clear potential obstacles or concerns that I have.

But thank you oh so much for the generous offer.

Hey, that is awesome. I am happy for you. And honestly, I don't think you offended anybody. At least, you never offended me.

Thank you. I do feel a bit more comfortable. I'm not certain I like the idea of people dropping in to "check up on me" once a week or month or however many times the home teachers drop in to fellowship. I'm kind of a solitary person, and Im starting to experience moderately upsetting issues regarding family and my insistence to pursue potentially converting. It's been a pretty rough period, but the missionaries are patient. They tried to even have me bring my family members to one of our internet chats so they can ask questions and whatever, but they wanted no part in it, which was sad but apparently not quite uncommon. Either way, I'm getting to the point that if the LDS church is where I belong then I'd rather be with God.

Man, I am sorry. That does sound rough. My best wishes for a peaceful end to this, whatever you decide.

[Jason_J]

I've become increasingly inspired by the LDS's concept of serving Christ and our Heavenly Father, by the love and unity the church members seem to have for one another, and by the humanitarian, missionary work they do. So much so that, having never spoken to any of the elders in my area, I have been reading on my own and praying about it and I'm pretty much convinced by the Holy Spirit that being a member of the LDS church is what my soul needs to be fulfilled. But I have a few problems.

First, my fear is that the moment you get baptized, you're on your "own" again. All the people intrinsic to preparing you for that moment of baptism then suddenly disappear back into the shadows and it's just you and your book of Mormon all alone again. I want to be useful, to be a part of something. to serve Christ, not just in my heart and in my personal life but I want to be an active part of a church. But it seems like only certain people are able to this?

Second,

A more personal issue...

I see these things of baptisms of people that finally went through with it and it is so beautiful and full of love and they are surrounded by so much support. However, I know that I won't have this. To be honest, coming from a strong Catholic background on one side and a black baptist family on the other, NEITHER side is going to accept the idea of me becoming a "Mormon." Even the one attempt at simply having a dialogue of inquiry about it led to much consternation and lecturing. I feel that to become a member of the LDS I would be turning my back and defying my family, my culture, traditions.. Which to a degree I suppose I'd be willing to do. I know that it is with the LDS Church that I would find the happiness and works that drew me to it in the first place. But the stigma, the humiliation of being labelled a "sell out" or "cult member" frightens me because I would be on my own with no support system, which doesn't seem like something the Church would prefer in an investigator/baptismee.

Should I give up on thinking of joining the church? How long or how would I go about becoming a missionary? And what do I do if the only person at my baptism is me and I don't have all the friends and family there with me?

Thank you,

Respectfully submitted.

- WantToServe

Just saw this post. I haven't read through the thread, so I'll probably end up repeating what has already been said.

I'm a convert to the Church, and I was raised Catholic, and was very active and participating in the life of the Catholic Church in various ways (lector, EMHC, taught religious ed for 8th grade, etc). My entire family is Catholic, including most of my extended family (I have a relative that converted to Assemblies of God, and that was an issue, so I knew being LDS would be as well).

The important thing to realize is whether you have received confirmation from God that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints really is Christ's Church, that Joseph Smith really was a prophet of God and that God restored the fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that the Book of Mormon really is scripture. If you have prayed to God for answers, and you have received that answer (as the Bible teaches you are able to do), then you know what and where God is calling you to, and that is to Jesus Christ, and the fulness of His Gospel, in His Church, in the CoJCoLDS.

Once you're baptized, you won't be "on your own again". The Church is a family, and the ward (your local congregation, i.e. the parish) is your family. I'm sure you'll find friends there. Also, there will be various people in various positions at your ward that will help you as you begin your new journey. The leader of the congregation, the Bishop, along with his 2 Counselors, will be there. There will be "ward missionaries" that teach a class called Gospel Principles, which is for new converts and investigators, where you will learn more about the basic beliefs of the Faith. There will be "home teachers", who will visit with you at least once a month (if visiting in your home isn't possible, you'd rather not have them there, etc., you can meet somewhere else, they can share a message with you over the phone/email, etc), and will make sure that you're doing okay both spiritually and temporally. If you need a blessing by the priesthood of God, they will be able to bless you. If you are a woman, you will also have "visiting teachers" that function similarly. There will be other leaders as well that will also look out for you, in addition to the people that just want to make sure you're okay! You won't be alone.

It sounds like you want to, essentially, act out your Christianity. There will be plenty of opportunities for that in your ward congregation! There are many opportunities for service. For example, next month, my ward will be going to the Bishop's Storehouse, which is essentially a mini-supermarket for disadvantaged individuals and families that are not able to afford food. We will be helping out with receiving the shipment to stock the Storehouse, then assist those individuals and families as they get the basic food items that they can't afford themselves. For Christmas, we bought gifts and donated money for disadvantaged individuals and families so that they could have gifts for Christmas. There are many opportunities to do things like that. You will also receive a "calling" in your congregation. This will allow you further opportunities to serve in your congregation. You could be the pianist/organist, a teacher, a greeter, a chorister, a ward missionary, a family history consultant, anything!

As far as your family, I completely understand. As I mentioned, my family is Catholic (and African American as well). I received the same response of, basically, giving up on culture, what our family has been for generations, etc. However, it isn't really a divisive thing. We just don't talk about it. Sometimes I go to church with my family. I drop my brother off at church for class sometimes. When I go to my ward, it isn't a problem. I know that they would like me to be Catholic again, however it isn't divisive. The thing to realize is that your family is your family, and they will always be there for you, no matter what. They might not like it at first, they'll be upset, etc., but they'll think the same thing, that you're still family. Just share with them your thoughts and how you feel, and also how important family is to you. That should be helpful. Share with them all of your thoughts.

For your baptism, most likely your family won't be there. Mine wasn't (I didn't invite them). The missionaries will most likely ask if it's okay to invite your ward congregation. I did this, and there were around 20-25 people at my baptism! You can also invite any friends as well.

To be a missionary, you'd have to be a member of the Church for at least a year. For men, I believe you can serve a mission between the ages of 18-26, and for women, it's 19+. After that, you can serve a senior mission when you're older.

So what should you do now?? I really think, if you haven't already done so, that you need to contact the local missionaries. If you've already read, studied, and prayed to God for guidance, and you've received God's guidance on what you should do, then, following that, you should come unto Christ through the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. You will have people there to support you, and you certainly shouldn't give up on joining the Church of Jesus Christ if God has called you! It was very hard for me to do this, and I pray that my family joins me one day (and I'm sure they are praying for me to come back to Catholicism as well), but I know it was where God called me to, it is where New Testament Christianity is found in its fulness, and, coming up to 2 years later, I can say that I don't regret it. The local missionaries will help you with all of this as well.

Hope that helps!

[Jason_J]

To be honest, I just feel like my life is empty, and the only answer I keep feeling myself tugged towards is Jesus and not through my Catholic church, but through the LDS. I can't put my finger on it. It just... feels right? Like.. coming home? If that doesn't sound too cheesy...

Haha, no it isn't cheesy. That's how I felt too (and still feel!). I felt that I had come Home. I also remember telling one friend that it was a "breath of fresh air".

[Jason_J]

Thank you! I feel somewhat excited as well! But apprehensive too. I feel like there's really so many things I can do to serve in this church, to really make an impact with my life.. but that there's so much to learn.. so much more than I'm capable I think. The potentiality to fail terrifies me... That I might end up disappointing my fellow members, the home teachers, etc.

There's a tendency for converts, including myself, to want to do EVERYTHING when they join. It isn't possible. Yes, there's much to learn, much to experience. However you can take it as slowly or as quickly as you desire. The important thing is to continue to converse with God through prayer, for all things, and to read your scriptures. Gospel Principles class on Sundays will also help you learn the basic doctrines of the Church. You can even read the manual online to get an idea. You will also have people there to support you in your new journey, in your calling, etc. And remember, if and when we do fail (since we are all human), the atoning sacrifice of Christ allows us to repent, be forgiven, and also to be empowered.

I'm also excited, but haven't yet contacted anyone local to come and talk to me because I really don't think I could do this with my family around. They would make it nearly impossible for me to sit with the missionary and learn what I need to do and prepare leading up to Baptism. I feel like I'd have to sneak around to accomplish this goal, as my family tends to have a "once it's done we don't care anymore" attitude, which is fine with me but... feels.. somewhat wrong? I mean, it's a magnificent change in my life.. God has purpose for me! And I would do this with little discussion or input from my family, as if I was doing something immoral.

I met with the missionaries at the church building. This happens many times. You can meet with them wherever you feel comfortable.

[Jason_J]

I'm probably a different case than Hyena. I am actually mixed race with light skin and curly, rather than course, hair. I've had Hispanics come up to me and start speaking Spanish and would probably fit right in in Puerto Rico or someplace where there are a lot of mixed raced people.

That happens to me ALL the time! They think I'm Dominican. I'm told many times that I look like their son, grandson, etc.

[dahlia]

Hello, Jason_J! I haven't seen you for awhile. Merry Christmas!

We had something come up in Sunday School and I ended up talking about an aspect of Catholicism. Then someone approached me about Catholics and conversion. I often wonder why Catholics seem so drawn to the Church.

[Hyena]

For your baptism, most likely your family won't be there. Mine wasn't (I didn't invite them). The missionaries will most likely ask if it's okay to invite your ward congregation. I did this, and there were around 20-25 people at my baptism! You can also invite any friends as well.

Sadly, this is probably the most likely outcome to be expected for me. Truth be told, I'm not entirely looking forward to this. I attempted to broach this subject with my family today during Christmas. It sparked a rather tense discussion where the terms "cult" and some things about what "black people do and don't do" were raised. It was hurriedly dropped and it felt like someone dumped a bucket of cold water all over my feelings. And yet, I still feel as if the LDS may be for me. I'm still reading the book of Mormon and praying. I want to believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet and the Book of Mormon is scripture, and in a way I really do sort of believe it, but I won't be able to fully convince myself until i've read it in it's entirety. Luckily, the missionaries I've been working with online have been instrumental to guiding me into finding the truths and answering questions, as were some of the people here before I offended them. Hopefully it will be like getting a shot.. mildly painfully for the briefest of moments, and then we all will move on and get over it.

If not, then I hope that God brings other joys into my life to compensate for what I'll potentially lose.

Out of curiosity, the Gospel Principals class, what is the dress code for these things? Is it sort of suit and tie or business casual or jeans and tshirt?

@Dahlia

I wonder if it is because the Catholic church feels so formulaic? I equate the feeling I have to big box chain stores. The LDS feels to me like a personally owned business where the owners greet each customer and serve them directly, providing a unique product or service with care and attention.

The Catholic church is to me the equivalent of a Walmart... sure it's full service and sorta comforting that it'll always be there and it's the biggest and best or something.. but the service level.. the QUALITY is much lower. Or a better analogy is maybe a hamburger restaurant like Fuddruckers or REd Robin (LDS) vs McDonalds (Catholic Church). I guess it just doesn't feel like you are communing or serving God anymore... just following a set of rules or instructions. It's not interactive maybe? Just my thoughts on that.

[Hyena]

For your baptism, most likely your family won't be there. Mine wasn't (I didn't invite them). The missionaries will most likely ask if it's okay to invite your ward congregation. I did this, and there were around 20-25 people at my baptism! You can also invite any friends as well.

Sadly, this is probably the most likely outcome to be expected for me. Truth be told, I'm not entirely looking forward to this. I attempted to broach this subject with my family today during Christmas. It sparked a rather tense discussion where the terms "cult" and some things about what "black people do and don't do" were raised. It was hurriedly dropped and it felt like someone dumped a bucket of cold water all over my feelings. And yet, I still feel as if the LDS may be for me. I'm still reading the book of Mormon and praying. I want to believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet and the Book of Mormon is scripture, and in a way I really do sort of believe it, but I won't be able to fully convince myself until i've read it in it's entirety. Luckily, the missionaries I've been working with online have been instrumental to guiding me into finding the truths and answering questions, as were some of the people here before I offended them. Hopefully it will be like getting a shot.. mildly painfully for the briefest of moments, and then we all will move on and get over it.

If not, then I hope that God brings other joys into my life to compensate for what I'll potentially lose.

Out of curiosity, the Gospel Principals class, what is the dress code for these things? Is it sort of suit and tie or business casual or jeans and tshirt?

@Dahlia

I wonder if it is because the Catholic church feels so formulaic? I equate the feeling I have to big box chain stores. The LDS feels to me like a personally owned business where the owners greet each customer and serve them directly, providing a unique product or service with care and attention.

The Catholic church is to me the equivalent of a Walmart... sure it's full service and sorta comforting that it'll always be there and it's the biggest and best or something.. but the service level.. the QUALITY is much lower. Or a better analogy is maybe a hamburger restaurant like Fuddruckers or REd Robin (LDS) vs McDonalds (Catholic Church). I guess it just doesn't feel like you are communing or serving God anymore... just following a set of rules or instructions. It's not interactive maybe? Just my thoughts on that.

[dahlia]

Out of curiosity, the Gospel Principals class, what is the dress code for these things? Is it sort of suit and tie or business casual or jeans and tshirt?

@Dahlia

I wonder if it is because the Catholic church feels so formulaic? I equate the feeling I have to big box chain stores.

First, the Gospel Principles class takes place during the block on Sunday, so you would be wearing whatever you wore to Sacrament Meeting. Then you would go to the men's meeting (someone else can talk about that, since I go to Relief Society).

Interesting analogy about big box vs personal service with the Catholics. I think there is some of that - one can just show up at Mass on Sunday and that's it. I gather not as many people send their kids to Catholic school as they did when I was younger, so you don't have this continual connection with the Church through the kids, activities, etc. as people may have at one time.

I also think that Catholics are used to a high level of organization. You have to admit, the Mormons are nothing if not organized! From the ward level up to HQ in SLC, there is a level of organization that is mind blowing. It's quite an achievement, when you think about it.

[Hyena]

First, the Gospel Principles class takes place during the block on Sunday, so you would be wearing whatever you wore to Sacrament Meeting. Then you would go to the men's meeting (someone else can talk about that, since I go to Relief Society).

Interesting analogy about big box vs personal service with the Catholics. I think there is some of that - one can just show up at Mass on Sunday and that's it. I gather not as many people send their kids to Catholic school as they did when I was younger, so you don't have this continual connection with the Church through the kids, activities, etc. as people may have at one time.

I also think that Catholics are used to a high level of organization. You have to admit, the Mormons are nothing if not organized! From the ward level up to HQ in SLC, there is a level of organization that is mind blowing. It's quite an achievement, when you think about it.

See, I get just the opposite feeling of organization from the Catholic church. To me, it seems like the Catholic church, much like my brother's Baptist church, seems to be content with members showing up for an hour or two on Saturday and then leaving to go live their lives again for the next 6 days having taken little to nothing away from the sermon or fellowship. Toss a few confessions in for the more seriously devout, and that's pretty much all there is to being a Catholic. I don't mean that to offend my Catholic brethren and maybe I was just a bad Catholic in the broad sense. But we never seemed to "organize" anything. There weren't people wanting to drop by my home to see how I'm doing spiritually and physically. There were no "callings" or anything by the Priests or anyone else for that matter to get me active in the Church. For so many years I've been a catholic in name only. It's like a label I put on my dog tags or on my facebook profile under the "religion" section. But if you'd ask me what me or any of my friends have DONE in our "faith" beyond HAVING FAITH? The answer would be a resounding shrug of the shoulders.

The LDS on the other hand.. seems actively engaged and to actively engage ALL of its members even if it's just asking them to visit other members or something (I'm basing this on what I've been told here on these forums about life after baptism). That's what has drawn me to considering the LDS. I want to be a part of something.. ACTIVE in Christ, not just being a card-carrying member in name only.

[dahlia]

I mean organization in the bureaucratic sense of the word (I teach this stuff, so I'm always thinking of bureaucracies and how they are evidenced in work and everyday life). The Catholic church has level upon level of priests, bishops, cardinals, then rules, regulations, cardinal and venial sins, etc. Somebody, somewhere is in charge of something and somewhere there's a rule about what you can and can't do and the amount/type punishment you get for infractions. Try to get an annulment... : )

The fact that many Catholics just show up for 45 minutes doesn't mean that there isn't a very strong bureaucracy.