Individual Accountability

[Guest kshRox]

I am a single father with twin girls, 15.

For the most part there is less drama (as they call it) than you might expect, however when the occasional war breaks out loud enough to disturb the peace (attract my attention) I have a technique which has been successful getting them working together to avoid the wrath of Dad. (similar to the Wrath of Khan but less drastic and involves a smaller universe)

I have them sit in chairs facing each other and each must tell the other, not what the other did, but what they themselves did to contribute to the current conflict.

tit-for-tat

For each contribution one makes the other must match it.

Sometimes I even offer an incentive (dinner out - winner picks restaurant etc.) where the confessions vs accusations become more outlandish as they attempt to out-do each other. This often ends with smiles and laughter rather than harsh words and glares. I also still make them hug each other at the end. (they act like this is the worst part)

I only do this a couple times a year as the threat of "chairs" is usually enough to bring the combatants back to the negotiation table before it escalates to out-right warfare.

[Guest]

I have 4 daughters who aren't teens yet, but I can already see how this would be beneficial. Thanks!

[Wingnut]

I like the idea behind this. It's not punishment, but personal accountability, as your thread title suggests. I really like that idea.

[Guest]

Ooooh! I have 9 and 11 year old boys! I can use this too! Great idea!

[Guest kshRox]

Yea, and if that don't work I use a baseball bat!

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I love it! Thanks for posting.

[NeuroTypical]

Ooh! Great idea. I usually mediate and go back and forth. I'll have to give this a try.

[Bini]

It would have never worked with me. I would have told my parents, "You sit in it." But I'd guess that most kids aren't as defiant as I was.. Ha ha. I think it's an awesome idea, though, and if I had two children I'd give it a go.

On a similar note, there was this cool article that circulated Facebook a couple weeks ago. It highlighted a small African tribe that used kindness instead of casting out the offender from their village. The tribe would have the offender stand before the village but not to be stoned or reprimanded. Villagers would then surround the offender, telling him all the GOOD that he has done, and the things that they appreciate about him. It was an amazing story.

[Guest kshRox]

It would have never worked with me. I would have told my parents, "You sit in it." But I'd guess that most kids aren't as defiant as I was.. Ha ha. I think it's an awesome idea, though, and if I had two children I'd give it a go.

On a similar note, there was this cool article that circulated Facebook a couple weeks ago. It highlighted a small African tribe that used kindness instead of casting out the offender from their village. The tribe would have the offender stand before the village but not to be stoned or reprimanded. Villagers would then surround the offender, telling him all the GOOD that he has done, and the things that they appreciate about him. It was an amazing story.

Hmmmm, I'm just guessing, but I wonder if you had been born in that tribe if it would have been the launching pad for your evil take over of the universe!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA