Everyone's having children all around me and I don't know what to do

[supertim]

It seems all the families in our ward keep having children. It seems that we are the only ones in our ward that aren't having children. It makes it difficult because my wife and I want to have friends in our ward. But with them having children, it as I said makes it difficult.

Is there anything we can do to make this easier on us? And what are some ways that folks who have children to be supportive of those who cannot?

[Backroads]

What are you looking for in friendships? There's always that "culture difference" between parents and non-parents, but that's no reason you can't cultivate friendships. Encourage adults-only activities, but keep in mind you may still have people checking in with the sitter and all that. Don't worry so much about your difference in children--find common ground.

As for "making it easier on you", I'm not sure what you mean. For whatever reason you and your wife don't have kids, own up to it. Don't self-pity/be angry at others/etc. Chances are, most people don't really care whether or not you have kids--any "are you expecting? How many kids do you have? questions are simply conversation starters. Begin by not assuming any thoughts toward you because they probably don't exist.

[Star_]

I think Backroads hit the nail on the head. I am married and don't have kids either. That does not mean you can't still have friends at church. The only thing you can do is change your attitude about it.

[Guest]

It took us a few years to have kids. It was tough. We felt like a lot of people judged us, or didn't take us seriously. I think the best thing we did is became best friends to each other and, again, didn't see church as a social club but as a place for worship and renewing covenants. Hang in there, lean on each other, serve in your callings, and know that this too shall pass.

[skippy740]

Do your home teaching... and see how messy their homes/apartments are.

[Dravin]

Is there anything we can do to make this easier on us?

How is it hard on you? That you friends are having children doesn't really pinpoint your issue.

And what are some ways that folks who have children to be supportive of those who cannot?

In what way do you need support?

[skalenfehl]

After about ten years of trying, my wife and I became adoptive parents. My wife isn't social at all and I'm the opposite. I guess it really comes down to what you two are doing to make friends.

[Bini]

OP said "cannot" and I'm wondering if this is referring to infertility.

Honestly, I feel you. Before I had my own child, I had ZERO interest in doing anything with people that were parents, namely I didn't like kids. I had never wanted any myself and felt totally alien when around the whole parent-child ratio. This said, I did have friends with kids, and I generally preferred to hangout when it was an Adult Only activity. I don't think my feelings were right or wrong, it was just how I felt, and I dealt with those feelings accordingly.

My advice, arrange for Adult Only activities if you're not comfortable with having the kiddos around. And that's okay. Also, you don't have to limit yourself just to church goers. There are many wonderful individuals and couples to be found within the workplace, or within a hobby group (which if you haven't tried - maybe sign up for a Spanish class or pottery class and meet other people?).

[skalenfehl]

My mistake. I think I read this post as him wanting to have friends in his ward and not being able to due to the fact that they cannot have children, not that they cannot have/make friends.

It seems all the families in our ward keep having children. It seems that we are the only ones in our ward that aren't having children. It makes it difficult because my wife and I want to have friends in our ward. But with them having children, it as I said makes it difficult.

Is there anything we can do to make this easier on us? And what are some ways that folks who have children to be supportive of those who cannot?