Non-member husband advice

[Anddenex]

Yesterday I was preparing for church and my husband begged me to stay home and said, "You must not love me then." It seemed like he was joking but I'm unsure and don't know what to say to something like that. I just replied, "I do love you very much." Last night he told me that he would be praying for me to know the truth and hopes that I go back to my "old self". Has anyone else had any experiences like this with a non-member spouse? Thanks

It appears to me you replied in exactly the manner you should have. I am not married to a non-member, however I would say you responded as you should have...with love. Thank him for his prayers.

How difficult a question this must be within your tender heart. The question implies, "Do you love me, more than your church?"

My second thought is one of humor, one could easily respond when he mentioned I am praying regarding your "old self", you could easily respond, with a smile, "When you mention my 'old self', is my 'old self' the individual before I left the Church, if so, this is exactly what the Lord is trying to help me do."

Have you ever considered that sometimes the Lord actually would confirm/witness that it would be alright to stay home upon your husband's request, and that you staying home is actually honoring the Lord's will?

Here is a possible scenario. Husband at some other time, or next week, asks the same question, "Will you stay home with me today?"

PhxLucy7 responds, "Yes, today is fine if I stay home with you, because I love you. However, should I stay home with you today, because you love me, the next two Sunday's I will need to go to church, will you support me, because you love me also?" (Look him straight in the eyes, with a compassionate and loving smile -- wait for his response)

Now the love and the rhetorical question is placed upon him. It presents to him the same scenario he presented to you. :)

Edited February 18, 2013 by Anddenex

[PhxLucy7]

Here is a possible scenario. Husband at some other time, or next week, asks the same question, "Will you stay home with me today?"

PhxLucy7 responds, "Yes, today is fine if I stay home with you, because I love you. However, should I stay home with you today, because you love me, the next two Sunday's I will need to go to church, will you support me, because you love me also?" (Look him straight in the eyes, with a compassionate and loving smile -- wait for his response)

Now the love and the rhetorical question is placed upon him. It presents to him the same scenario he presented to you. :)

Thanks so much for this scenario, I can definitely see how this can be a loving, Christ-like approach to this situation and I appreciate it. And I feel that it would be giving on both parts if I did stay home one sunday, and then he come to church with me the next week and possibly then the next :) Thanks for this comment.

[PhxLucy7]

Another thing that happened last night,

My husband asked me, "What if what you believe is completely wrong? Do you think God will be mad at you? What do you think will happen when you die if this church isn't true?"

I believe I answered this in the best way possible, I said, "Well, if I am absolutely trying my best to live my life in the way that our savior did then I think that Heavenly Father would be pleased with me for trying to be a good person and living with good morals and values." I told him I believe that the church is helping me to become a better person everyday, the teachings are positive and uplifting.

He had no argument at that but he nodded with approval. I felt the spirit with me after this experience and felt peace in my heart.

[Anddenex]

Another thing that happened last night,

My husband asked me, "What if what you believe is completely wrong? Do you think God will be mad at you? What do you think will happen when you die if this church isn't true?"

I believe I answered this in the best way possible, I said, "Well, if I am absolutely trying my best to live my life in the way that our savior did then I think that Heavenly Father would be pleased with me for trying to be a good person and living with good morals and values." I told him I believe that the church is helping me to become a better person everyday, the teachings are positive and uplifting.

He had no argument at that but he nodded with approval. I felt the spirit with me after this experience and felt peace in my heart.

Wonderful, the most important aspect is how you feel about your response, and whether or not the spirit attended your answers. If you answered to your best ability then the grace of God will also begin working with his heart.

Note, my next statement isn't implying this is the way you should have responded, just the way I might have responded.

What if what you believe is completely wrong? Then I am wrong.

Do you think God will be mad at you? Possibly - I really don't know.

What do you think will happen when you die if this church isn't true? Great question, it really depends on which God is truth, or if the atheists have it right.

If the Muslims are correct (being male) I assume I won't have my 70 virgins, and God will be mad. If mainstream Christianity is correct, I will be ok. They profess by grace we are saved, and I only need to believe in Christ of the Bible to be saved....I do...I will be alright. If atheist are correct, well, it doesn't really matter then, because I am worm food.

However, my love, what if I am correct, then what happens to us? The spirit of the Lord has witnessed to my heart that this is correct, and has provided promise that all can receive the same witness.

Technically, there are many possible ways to answer his questions, however the most important is that you felt the spirit after speaking with him, God's confirmation you did well, and good in his eyes. That is the most important.