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Hemisphere

church- a lost and burnt refuge

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hi there,

I am actually greatly distressed. After four years of membership, I found that my efforts to become a better person are not meritted by the results.

My membershp in Germany has not been an easy one. my first branch consisted of 18 activve people from formerly 50 +. his presiidency together with his family was cause for many people to leave because they were crassly abused

what happened was that before my baptism a family took over that had and has this holier than thou art attitude with the notion that converts are only second class members and that only inborns are entitled to blessings as they are nobility, at least what they feel. they carried the gospel on their tongues but not in their hearts.

it so came to pass that the branch president who saw an opportunity to reign me in tried to bully me. the differences were not reconcilible. I went to the stake presidency because I got bullied in being apostized if I would not follow suit. the stake presidency reluctantly told him to back off but the bullying went on and the stake presidency did nothing. I had to adress the area presidency to make it stop. regardless there was nno consequence for those people.

I moved for a promotion later to another city and I wittnessed the same pattern of entitlement and arrogance as the foreign members were not valued as the regular and wealthy members of the branch.

ultimately I got accused of trying to use the church for my own agains for people who would have benefitted from my charity. there was nno talk there was only a stern warning from the stake presidency to cease and desist without hearing me.

trying to resolve this I was turned from victim to villain when I was not alright with it quietly rolling over into my grave. I got also released in disgrace via email.

I resorted to cross across the border to visit another stake and ward. I have to get up earlier in order to be there but the choice is easy between going and worship and not going at all.

ultimately I got the impression you get away with it pretty much everything if you are in a leadership calling

my adresses to the stake presidency went on deaf ears and my attempts to contact the area presidency were blocked and prevented .

then there is the issue of dating, in the past four years dating within the lds scene, I found it to be easier to wade through lava while being lashed with a roman metal whip barbed with acid then to fulfill exaggerated expectation and so called values.

in germany I found that being a convert and not going on a mission disqualifies you as a potential mate and hustband, no matter how much you love the lord. if best you ought to be born in the church and gone on a mission. icing o nthe cake would be if your dad happenes to be stake president .other than that, you may entertain and help but nothing else.

in general i witnessed petty powerplay and status mongering. i see lds people and i rather with non lds people. in my four years of membership i got hurt like nowhere before and i really dont like to hang anymore with the crow. i have no real testimony of the church and seeing it, i still believe the gospel but i cnat consider church as home as i feel i have to watch my back and my eyes peeled.

how can i consider seeing so much corruption and selfishness to be at home?

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Guest LiterateParakeet

I am so sorry for your pain. It sounds like things have been very difficult for you.

You know just recently I was thinking about the same thing--how unfair it is to be hurt in the place that is supposed to be healing. My situation is very different from yours, but the idea...being hurt in a place that should feel like home is the same.

I don't know if this will help you, but it helped me so I'll share just in case. Christ understands this feeling after all, it was His own people, the Jews that sought after his death, not the Romans. Remember Pilot wanted to let him go, but the Jews insisted that he be crucified.

I believe that things like what you described happening in your area of the church must grieve Heavenly Father very much. He works through us mortals, which gives us many opportunities to grow, but sometime that can leave people to make mistakes such as you mentioned.

Imagine though, if you leave the church, who does that leave for the Lord to work with? If people like you all leave. . .

Another thing that has helped me is to "stick with the basics"...there are things about church culture that bother me too, but when I look at the basics, that makes all the difference. Try it, ask yourself (you don't need to answer me) do you believe in God, and in Jesus Christ? Do you believe in the Atonement? and the plan of salvation which includes the ideas of pre-exsistence, and degrees of glory?

And finally...do you think that Heavenly Father wants you to stay in the church and be an instrument in his hands? Terryl Givens, an LDS Scholar once said, "We complain about the culture of the church, but we are the culture. If changes need to happen, then we need to help make them happen." paraphrased I know you said you have tried...but like a teach my chess students...never give up. Don't quit. Even when things look bad, hang in there and go for a stale mate (tie).

So I give you the same advice. For the Lord, hang in there, don't quit. He understands, and he'll be there with you.

LP

P.S. About the dating...there's more than enough single LDS girls over here...maybe some online dating, and save up for a vacation in the US? :)

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Guest LiterateParakeet

I cant change things when people delcare me an spostate, and that happens all too easy. and I thnk I serve as a tool nonetheless, just not with the corruption and drama

It does sound really hard, and I don't claim to know the answers...but the Lord does. And he needs people like you, so please don't give up.

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If you use facebook at all, let me introduce you to a friend of mine who lives in Germany. I think she could relate very well to many of the things that you are feeling. I don't think she would mind if I introduced you.

https://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/gabriela.walther1?fref=ts

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Pam, I think that is a great idea. It helps to have friends that understand!

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Pam, I think that is a great idea. It helps to have friends that understand!

Plus she is German living in Germany so there is another common factor there.

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Plus she is German living in Germany so there is another common factor there.

Yes, I agree! I haven't had the kinds of experiences the OP has, so I assume it is some kind of cultural issue. Your friend will understand that better than we can.

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well, the general attitude inside the church worldwide is not the most flexible one in adressing issues and problems. people like to pretend everything is great and shut their eyes very hard

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well, I think it couldnt hurt but in what aspect would that help me ?

plus the german mentality has a strong override in christian value insude the church.

It was only a suggestion. Take it or leave it.

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Guest LiterateParakeet

well, I think it couldnt hurt but in what aspect would that help me ?

plus the german mentality has a strong override in christian value insude the church.

Think of it this way...how does posting here help? I think befriending her will help in the same way, only better because she lives in Germany and likely has seen some of the issues you describe. She may have suggestions, or just a listening ear from someone who has been there and done that. Who can say?

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I cant change things when people delcare me an spostate, and that happens all too easy. and I thnk I serve as a tool nonetheless, just not with the corruption and drama

People can declare you an apostate all they want. It does not make it so. The jewish authority of the day declared Christ to be an apostate and false teacher. Was that true? Did it stop him from teaching the truth? Nope.

Make sure you are basing your testimony on the "Rock" and not on the opinions of the people around you. I am sorry you are experiencing this. I was once called a liar by a person in authority over me in the church. It was not true and I knew it. I didn't let it take me from the Gospel of Christ.

As for the dating. You will find someone. You just may have to continue "wading" for a while :).

Just my thoughts,

Mags

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I have seen members with the "holly are though" attitude and it turns me off. Just think of this way for a new investigating member, a holly are though attitude is a holly though forget it" and leave the church. That is the fastest way for members to exit the church fast.

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I have seen members with the "holly are though" attitude and it turns me off. Just think of this way for a new investigating member, a holly are though attitude is a holly though forget it" and leave the church. That is the fastest way for members to exit the church fast.

I had to figure out what bcguy was referring to...but some clarification. He is talking about "holier than thou" attitudes.

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