The Priesthood Let Us Down

[a-train]

Whatever, the camp-out was probably lame and the dude who went on about how great it had been was probably a nerd. Furthermore, it always kills me when we get reports of scout activities during testimony meeting. This is time to prophesy of Christ not relate the fireside follies of the weekend in an attempt to get laughter from the congregation.

Now look, I grew up in the Church with a single mom and got the same treatment. Nobody became a father figure to me. A few tried over the years and I appreciate that, but a father figure can be very little like a father when he is only there once in a while.

Those guys who act like scouts is part of the priesthood and the path to heaven need a reality check. You and your family are not in this Church for the camp-outs. You guys aren't here just to make Eagle. The camp-outs are not here to provide any saving function. Go to a scout troop that he enjoys and has fun with, it might just be that the scouts in your ward are just fuddy-duddies.

I was in scouts for years until I moved to a ward that had an insurance salesman for a scout leader. Every cotton-picking thing we talked about was too big a liability for this guy to handle, he always mentioned how dangerous everything was and we did NOTHING. I quit. I am not Eagle. I served a mission, I married in the temple, I am serving faithfully now and I am not an Eagle and don't care.

Now the Boy Scout association allows moms to be involved and even in camp-outs. If this troop in your ward stinks, go elsewhere. YOU can be involved.

Don't let the extra-curriculars become a stumbling block. Remember why you and your son go to Church.

-a-train

[Guest Emma Hale Smith]

WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY WANT ME? I assured him that I did, but that is not enough for him. My heart is brocken for him, and furious with my priesthood leaders! Why can't they practise what they preach? Me and my kids have fallen threw the cracks. And yes, I DID take this to the Bishop...he appoligised to me and said he would have a meeting. that was on Friday afternoon, when I realized that my son was going to miss out , again....I 'm not sure if this "meeting" happened...but my son had to hear about the great time OTHER boys had when I forced him to go to church on sunday. Now he never wants to go back. Can't say that I blame him!

You know what Yedyid, I think you're son has every right to be furious! He was abandoned by his church leaders, whether they want to acknowledge it or not. That is outrageous.

The anguish he must feel breaks my heart for both you and him.

I also realize Aspergers is an especially difficult disorder and I suspect that is one of the reasons you're having difficulty getting any of the priesthood members to commit to working with your son. Again, outrageous.

I know I am being harsher than everyone else, but I don't feel like anyone has actually considered the feelings of your son. He should not have to sit in meetings and hear about other fathers and sons while he is being neglected by the very priesthood members who should be caring for him. He should not have to be begging for someone to take him to camping trips, only to be left behind, and then have to hear later how fun it was.

This is emotionally traumatic for him, and you need to find a way to make your bishop understand how this has harmful consequences to your son. If he is going to continue to attend church under these circumstances, he is not only going to come to hate church, he is going to feel abandoned and rejected, and with his Aspergers, there's really no healing from that.

I am aware that you already know all of this, and my heart goes out to you, because I believe you have already tried to educate the priesthood members about your son.

I think it's time to burst in and show some attitude. This is your son we're talking about!

Emma

[Guest Yediyd]

Whatever, the camp-out was probably lame and the dude who went on about how great it had been was probably a nerd. Furthermore, it always kills me when we get reports of scout activities during testimony meeting. This is time to prophesy of Christ not relate the fireside follies of the weekend in an attempt to get laughter from the congregation.

Now look, I grew up in the Church with a single mom and got the same treatment. Nobody became a father figure to me. A few tried over the years and I appreciate that, but a father figure can be very little like a father when he is only there once in a while.

Those guys who act like scouts is part of the priesthood and the path to heaven need a reality check. You and your family are not in this Church for the camp-outs. You guys aren't here just to make Eagle. The camp-outs are not here to provide any saving function. Go to a scout troop that he enjoys and has fun with, it might just be that the scouts in your ward are just fuddy-duddies.

I was in scouts for years until I moved to a ward that had an insurance salesman for a scout leader. Every cotton-picking thing we talked about was too big a liability for this guy to handle, he always mentioned how dangerous everything was and we did NOTHING. I quit. I am not Eagle. I served a mission, I married in the temple, I am serving faithfully now and I am not an Eagle and don't care.

Now the Boy Scout association allows moms to be involved and even in camp-outs. If this troop in your ward stinks, go elsewhere. YOU can be involved.

Don't let the extra-curriculars become a stumbling block. Remember why you and your son go to Church.

-a-train

We don't go to church for the scouting, and I could care less about it, believe me!!!!but try explaining all that to my son!

By the way...the guy that gave his testimony...was a member of the Bishoprick, second counsellor. He's not a nerd, or lame...he is a wonderfull father and man. His wife and I are writing a book together.

I'm ok now...my son is better, too. this isn't as much about me being a single mom as it is about his disorder. The men are afraid of it, they don't understand it...they shy away from it. Can't say that I blame them...my son can be very difficult at times.

My Bishop is aware of this problem, and he has an autistc son himself...he KNOWS what I go through. I know I can't expect a consistant father figure for my son...my son is the reason I don't even attempt to seriously date...I just can't see finding a man who will love my son unconditionally, not that it couldn't happen...just that I'm not holding my breath! My son's own father couldn't handle the pressure!!!!!I need to be a mom first, a woman second.

Yediyd

[wiley]

I looked to see where you live Yediyd. Too far from me. But if nothing else, for this group here on this websight, I hope us priesthood folk can learn from this lesson. It's convenient to critized them [Yediyd's PH's] in their failings and say that we all have our faults. But can we say that we are going to look harder in our own wards for parents in need? Will we see where we can do better? Perhaps someone in our ward is also falling through the cracks. Let's learn from this guys so that we don't have to use the "nobody's perfect" reasoning for ourselves if we fail ourselves. Maybe Yediyd's PHs will come around, maybe not; let's hope. But let's make sure that we hear the message loud and clear. This goes for the girls of the ward as well, and also certainly applies to RS. But I think they are better about such things in general than we are. I saw one guy here show how he stepped up. Kudos to him.

Not saying anyone else hasn't. Just that we should be more observant towards the families in our ward.

[Guest Yediyd]

I looked to see where you live Yediyd. Too far from me. But if nothing else, for this group here on this websight, I hope us priesthood folk can learn from this lesson. It's convenient to critized them [Yediyd's PH's] in their failings and say that we all have our faults. But can we say that we are going to look harder in our own wards for parents in need? Will we see where we can do better? Perhaps someone in our ward is also falling through the cracks. Let's learn from this guys so that we don't have to use the "nobody's perfect" reasoning for ourselves if we fail ourselves. Maybe Yediyd's PHs will come around, maybe not; let's hope. But let's make sure that we hear the message loud and clear. This goes for the girls of the ward as well, and also certainly applies to RS. But I think they are better about such things in general than we are. I saw one guy here show how he stepped up. Kudos to him.

Not saying anyone else hasn't. Just that we should be more observant towards the families in our ward.

God bless you, Wiley!

[Newbert_Zero]

I don't really have any advice to give you but I just want to say that you sound like a great mom and

and i hope everything works out for you and your son. Just remember the men in your ward might think that they just aren't good enough to take your son.

[Guest Yediyd]

I don't really have any advice to give you but I just want to say that you sound like a great mom and

and i hope everything works out for you and your son. Just remember the men in your ward might think that they just aren't good enough to take your son.

Thank you for that Newbert...one of the Bishoprick personally appollogised to me on sunday and the Bishop is going to come to my house later this week to make a plan....guess the squeaky wheel DOES get the oil!!!!Pun intended.

[Newbert_Zero]

Glad to here that. You sound like you have a good Bishop who wants to help but he just doesent really know exactly what he should do to help.

[Guest Yediyd]

Glad to here that. You sound like you have a good Bishop who wants to help but he just doesent really know exactly what he should do to help.

Yep...he's a good man. And btw...so are the other men that let me down...I suspect that you are right about them not knowing how to deal with my son.

[Newbert_Zero]

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Aspergers a person who half of the time acts autistic and half the time doesent? i think i watched a video about it on youtube but im not sure if its correct. I heard its harder then being autistic because allot of the time people cant tell someone with aspergers has a disorder.

Can you explain more what the disorder is? thank you.

It souds like he is in a very difficult situation his reaction is understandable.

Again I hope the best for you and your son.

[Guest Yediyd]

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't Aspergers a person who half of the time acts autistic and half the time doesent? i think i watched a video about it on youtube but im not sure if its correct. I heard its harder then being autistic because allot of the time people cant tell someone with aspergers has a disorder.

Can you explain more what the disorder is? thank you.

It souds like he is in a very difficult situation his reaction is understandable.

Again I hope the best for you and your son.

Exactly! This is what I struggle with on a daily basis...people judge ME as a mom because they do not see my son's dissorder! You have to get to know my son to see his autism!

[Newbert_Zero]

Heres the link to the video i found of it.

[Guest Username-Removed]

Ive thought more about this as well. Im going to my bishop next week and ask if there is single moms with kids that need a little extra help with thier sons. I'm not sure what I can do, but maybe just a movie or a game of UNO or something.

I miss my own son as I live too far away for visits very often. Perhaps this might be good for both of us.

[Guest Yediyd]

Heres the link to the video i found of it.

WOW!!!!! Thank you SO MUCH for that link...I am going to keep it and show it to everyone that I know INCLUDING my son!!!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

[Newbert_Zero]

Im so glad I could help.

[Guest Yediyd]

Im so glad I could help.

And help you did...I'm going to ask the Bishop to take this link to the men in my church. I'm not all that computer savey yet...thank you for helping me.

[CrimsonKairos]

Ive thought more about this as well. Im going to my bishop next week and ask if there is single moms with kids that need a little extra help with thier sons. I'm not sure what I can do, but maybe just a movie or a game of UNO or something.

That's an incredibly awesome idea, bro. I'm really struck by how powerful that might be.

[Jason]

Perhaps the problem stems from the fact that many LDS have so many children of their own, that taking on someone else's kid even for a day seems overwhelming?

Im not trying to make a bigoted statement here folks, just a casual observation about what could be the underlying problem in the OP's ward.

[Guest Yediyd]

Perhaps the problem stems from the fact that many LDS have so many children of their own, that taking on someone else's kid even for a day seems overwhelming?

Im not trying to make a bigoted statement here folks, just a casual observation about what could be the underlying problem in the OP's ward.

I think you have a valid point, Jason.

[pushka]

Yediyd, my heart goes out to you and your son. I do hope that your Bishop comes thru with his promises to look closely at how your son is being treated within the local ward, and that appropriate changes are made to accommodate him more.

I understand the other side of the story too, where people might be afraid of not being able to cope properly if your son has a problem during the weekend. A close friend of mine has a son with Tourettes, they thought he might have Aspergers at one time, but it was ruled out, however parts of his behaviour/attitude to others does seem like aspergers type behaviour. I have another friend, adult, who has aspergers and I'm afraid that I didn't know how to deal with her at one time. We got very close within the group we belong to, working together, and even took some holidays together, but sometimes she seemed to be very rude to people, and I didn't know if it was all down to her aspergers or just an excuse either. Fortunately I've grown to know more about the illness now, and we get along fine and I try to make extra sure that she has enough support so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed anymore. She appears to be happier now.

I was going to suggest that you try to single out the parents of some of your son's closer friends within the ward. I know that it can be difficult to have close friends when you have any of the autistic spectrum illnesses, but I do hope that your son has managed to make some close friends. Perhaps spending more time with them outside of the church, on a Saturday or something, where your families can get together, and they have the chance to see your son other than at church may open their eyes more to how you cope in certain situations. Fear of the unknown is the worst thing to stop people from volunteering help in situations like this. I really do think that showing the video not only to the adult PH, but also to some of the youth of the church, if your son is happy to do so, would help everyone to understand more about the condition and hopefully somebody will take the time to befriend your family more, and eventually offer to take your son to camp or other events.

Finally, I wondered if you are a part of any support group/s for children with aspergers/autistic illnesses? I know that there are communities online which support their members, so maybe you should try to find some close to where you live, or maybe just an online community with whom to share your concerns, and who will be more able to give you relevant information and help.

Good Luck :)

[Guest Yediyd]

Yediyd, my heart goes out to you and your son. I do hope that your Bishop comes thru with his promises to look closely at how your son is being treated within the local ward, and that appropriate changes are made to accommodate him more.

I understand the other side of the story too, where people might be afraid of not being able to cope properly if your son has a problem during the weekend. A close friend of mine has a son with Tourettes, they thought he might have Aspergers at one time, but it was ruled out, however parts of his behaviour/attitude to others does seem like aspergers type behaviour. I have another friend, adult, who has aspergers and I'm afraid that I didn't know how to deal with her at one time. We got very close within the group we belong to, working together, and even took some holidays together, but sometimes she seemed to be very rude to people, and I didn't know if it was all down to her aspergers or just an excuse either. Fortunately I've grown to know more about the illness now, and we get along fine and I try to make extra sure that she has enough support so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed anymore. She appears to be happier now.

I was going to suggest that you try to single out the parents of some of your son's closer friends within the ward. I know that it can be difficult to have close friends when you have any of the autistic spectrum illnesses, but I do hope that your son has managed to make some close friends. Perhaps spending more time with them outside of the church, on a Saturday or something, where your families can get together, and they have the chance to see your son other than at church may open their eyes more to how you cope in certain situations. Fear of the unknown is the worst thing to stop people from volunteering help in situations like this. I really do think that showing the video not only to the adult PH, but also to some of the youth of the church, if your son is happy to do so, would help everyone to understand more about the condition and hopefully somebody will take the time to befriend your family more, and eventually offer to take your son to camp or other events.

Finally, I wondered if you are a part of any support group/s for children with aspergers/autistic illnesses? I know that there are communities online which support their members, so maybe you should try to find some close to where you live, or maybe just an online community with whom to share your concerns, and who will be more able to give you relevant information and help.

Good Luck :)

Thank you, Pushka...My son is antagonistic about the church and has no social clue...therefore has no friends his age in the church...the other kids shun him. He knows he is "different", but does not understand why people "don't like him". This dissorder is very hard on ones self esteem. I have checked into support groups...there are none in my area...but I do have an intensive case maniger for my son and I have him in day treatment as he cannot go to public school. I am also in counselling.

[evilservant]

<div class='quotemain'>

Yediyd, my heart goes out to you and your son. I do hope that your Bishop comes thru with his promises to look closely at how your son is being treated within the local ward, and that appropriate changes are made to accommodate him more.

I understand the other side of the story too, where people might be afraid of not being able to cope properly if your son has a problem during the weekend. A close friend of mine has a son with Tourettes, they thought he might have Aspergers at one time, but it was ruled out, however parts of his behaviour/attitude to others does seem like aspergers type behaviour. I have another friend, adult, who has aspergers and I'm afraid that I didn't know how to deal with her at one time. We got very close within the group we belong to, working together, and even took some holidays together, but sometimes she seemed to be very rude to people, and I didn't know if it was all down to her aspergers or just an excuse either. Fortunately I've grown to know more about the illness now, and we get along fine and I try to make extra sure that she has enough support so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed anymore. She appears to be happier now.

I was going to suggest that you try to single out the parents of some of your son's closer friends within the ward. I know that it can be difficult to have close friends when you have any of the autistic spectrum illnesses, but I do hope that your son has managed to make some close friends. Perhaps spending more time with them outside of the church, on a Saturday or something, where your families can get together, and they have the chance to see your son other than at church may open their eyes more to how you cope in certain situations. Fear of the unknown is the worst thing to stop people from volunteering help in situations like this. I really do think that showing the video not only to the adult PH, but also to some of the youth of the church, if your son is happy to do so, would help everyone to understand more about the condition and hopefully somebody will take the time to befriend your family more, and eventually offer to take your son to camp or other events.

Finally, I wondered if you are a part of any support group/s for children with aspergers/autistic illnesses? I know that there are communities online which support their members, so maybe you should try to find some close to where you live, or maybe just an online community with whom to share your concerns, and who will be more able to give you relevant information and help.

Good Luck :)

Thank you, Pushka...My son is antagonistic about the church and has no social clue...therefore has no friends his age in the church...the other kids shun him. He knows he is "different", but does not understand why people "don't like him". This dissorder is very hard on ones self esteem. I have checked into support groups...there are none in my area...but I do have an intensive case maniger for my son and I have him in day treatment as he cannot go to public school. I am also in counselling.

[pushka]

Strange reply evilservant? Did you have a point to make?

[Guest Yediyd]

Strange reply evilservant? Did you have a point to make?

My thought exactly!

[CrimsonKairos]

Why in the world would an evangelical or any Christian choose the username "evilservant?" What's your purpose here?