Josh Weed's manifesto

[char713]

I am fascinated by discussions like these just as I am by discussions of WWII history. We have much to learn yet, and neither topic will ever become a dead horse until we have either overcome the issues entirely or given up the fight. I have not read the entirety of the thread yet, but from what I have, I thought of these two passages from C.S. Lewis. Have I mentioned him in all of my posts recently? It feels like it. Both of the following quotes are from "Mere Christianity."

 

"If you are poor creature--poisoned by a wretched upbringing in some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels--saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion--nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friends--do not despair. He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can, one day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner than that) He will fling it on the scrap heap and give you a new one. And then you may astonish us all--not least yourself; for you have learned your driving in a hard school. (Some of the last will be first and the first will be last.)"

 

----------

 

"Christianity asserts that every individual human being is going to live for ever, and this must be either true or false. Now there are a good many things which would not be worth bothering about if I were going to live only seventy years, but which I had better bother about very seriously if I am going to live fore ever. Perhaps my bad temper or my jealousy are gradually getting worse - so gradually that the increase in seventy years will not be very noticeable. But it might be absolute hell in a million years."

[Syme]

In the next life I hope all our questions about same sex attraction will be answered.  I have no answers to any of this.  But, I do wonder, and maybe because I'm a woman this is how I react, if/when I'm attracted to a man, that doesn't necessarily mean I want to have a physical relationship with them.  Maybe for men it is different?  If they are attracted to a female or male, do they just go to the physical desire aspect of it?  Because, I don't always see attraction as a physical desire, I don't look at it as a sin.  I look at it as an innocent feeling where no physical desire is necessarily involved.  But, yet, it's definitely a heterosexual attraction.  Is it just me?  Women in general?  I don't know.  Maybe I'm naive.

 

It is different, and maybe I'm stereotyping (but only a little):

 

Men tend toward the 'visible' attraction while women tend toward the 'emotional' attraction. An example is Playboy vs Playgirl - both featuring women & men in revealing attire. Playgirl didn't appeal to most women, primarily having a gay male market, and the last issue was published in 2009. Playboy is still going strong.

 

We all know adultery and voyeurism is breaking the bond of marriage - but what if you had a really, really close emotional bond with a non-family member of the opposite sex, and you spent lots and lots of time with them alone? I'd say that's crossing the line too.

[char713]

It was several years into our relationship, and three years into our marriage when we learned about the realities of attraction for men and women. For Christmas, my brother gave us copies of the books "For Men Only" and "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn. From reading those books we learned that when he says he finds someone attractive, an image of that person might be filed away in a "mental rolodex" of attractive/arousing images which he then can return to at any time....unless he works very hard to keep those thoughts at bay. Women for the most part do not think that way.. but men think that we do because no one has told them differently. It was a huge eye-opener for my husband to learn that when I said I thought such-and-such actor or random guy at the grocery store was handsome, I meant it simply in the aesthetic sense. He thought I was just as physically-attracted, i.e. aroused by the thought of a good looking dude as he might be with an equally attractive girl. 

 

But it doesn't matter how our bodies respond to the thoughts our minds produce, if we are thinking romantically or sexually about any person besides our spouse.. then we are guilty of what it talks about in Matthew 5 : 27-28

 

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on awoman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 

 

 

The same goes for those who struggle with same-sex attraction. I don't know much about Josh Weed, I am still working on reading through his blog, but it seems like he is working very hard to keep those thoughts in check. I don't know what more can be asked of him, or any person in a similar situation other than that they think and act with complete fidelity toward their spouse and are completely honest with them as well. This includes emotional fidelity - if one finds themselves being drawn into confiding more deeply or more often with someone other than their spouse - in my mind that equates to an emotional affair. It is what draws a lot of women into infidelity, because we objectify emotions the way men objectify bodies. 

Edited May 29, 2015 by char713