Meeting with Missionaries / Going to Church

[GrayMars]

Hi all.

So I had a chance encounter with missionaries through the week while out for a walk.

It was quite a pleasant introduction, and I was able to meet with them today. I wish I had come here first for words of advice and encouragement.

My memory is really bad, but I heard the LDS side of the Authority of the Church on quite a basic level (which was a question I had during our first encounter), reading the Book of Mormon (of which I already own a copy but have read very little of it), and I came clean to them that I am not a believer. We spoke a bit about that, which probably took up the majority of the meeting. We also touched very briefly on health related matters (but not the Word of Wisdom yet). They know that I am a little bit familiar with Mormons, although even I am admitting what I do know is just a drop in the ocean.

Anyhow, it was a daunting experience this time around, in comparison to when we first met. Overall, I'd say the experience was positive from the perspective of having an openness to speak (on both sides), but while I was kind of overwhelmed with the situation due to anxiety, I also felt a little underwhelmed by the explanations that were given.

They asked me to read the Book of Mormon, which I will do. They asked me to go to church, and I asked them to call me back about that as I am feeling unsure.

I don't know if there's much of a point to posting this, but I'm just really feeling not so relaxed about the whole thing. I think it's good that I was able to be honest and forthcoming today and not hold off until later. They expressed that some people do that. So I'm glad about that.

I think I have worries about things like the Word of Wisdom and being baptized (neither of which have been brought up yet). I don't think I am ready for baptism.

Can anyone offer some sage wisdom? lol

GrayMars

Edited April 30, 2016 by GrayMars

[bytebear]

The missionaries job is to introduce you to truth, and to teach you how to conform that truth is from God through the Holy Ghost.  They really aren't there to go into the details of the church.  That comes through study, church attendance, and time.  They are there to tell you what you need to do to find out if this is the right church, and what steps you need to take if you decide it is the right church (i.e.  Word of Wisdom, etc.). The basics, if you will.  So, use them to guide you in what you need to do to further your journey, but its up to you to take the steps of finding out for yourself, and it's your journey, so take it at your pace.  They wont mind if you are honest about how you feel.  So read the Book of Mormon, study the message, and pray to God in faith, and seek answers, both here on this website, with the missionaries, through church attendance, while learning to be attuned to the influence of the Holy Ghost.

[Jane_Doe]

Best policy: be open and honest.

I like you analogy of a drop in the ocean.  Mormonism is an ocean, undoubtably: a rich tradition of scripture and God's workings nowadays.  It's quite easy and understandable to feel overwhelmed at first.  How to counter that feeling: take things one step at a time.  Start with the basics: Christ.  Talk & learn about that first, and try to resist them temptation to get distracted on less important things.  If you're confused/overwhelmed/tired/any other emotion, tell the missionaries.  Open and honest is the best policy always.

[tesuji]

The missionaries are called to teach. They have that priesthood authority. The best lessons with missionaries are those where the Holy Spirit is present. When you feel that, you will know what they are teaching is true. However, definitely ask questions and learn. We believe in learning both by faith and by study.

The Book of Mormon is great. I encourage you to say a little prayer to God before you read it, to help you understand. Feel free to skip parts for now, if you want. But I think it's a pretty straightforward book.

And feel free to ask questions here. The gospel is simple at its core, but there's also a lot to learn. Take your time. Also, the church is often misunderstood by non-members. We believe we are the church of Christ, re-established in modern time after it was lost after Christ's death.

I don't think there's any reason to be anxious. No one is going to force you to do anything you aren't ready for. If you feel like they are somehow pressuring you, then remind them that's now how the gospel works  

Best wishes  to you!

Edited April 30, 2016 by tesuji

[zil]

@GrayMars, welcome to the forums!  We're glad you're here.  I'll second the advice given and add that when I'm feeling uneasy about something, the source is usually one of two things:

1) Deep inside, I know I need to do something about it, but I don't want to do it (just yet)

2) I'm feeling rushed and need more time to think about things before making a decision

Obviously, you're not me and could have all your own reasons for these feelings.  Whatever the source, it's OK to figure it out and face it honestly - including sharing as much with the missionaries as you think appropriate.  If you need more time to discuss a certain topic, that's OK - if the missionaries don't have more to add , they can listen to your thoughts, try to point you in the right direction, and even request help from local members who might be able to discuss the issue with you.  If you just need your own time to read, ponder, and pray, that's OK too - the Lord encourages this approach to learning.

11 hours ago, GrayMars said:

I also felt a little underwhelmed by the explanations that were given

The gospel is a simple thing (that it can take a lifetime and more to master).  Sometimes we expect grand, mysterious revelations, and are disappointed by the simpleness of the gospel.  But once you get over that, there's beauty in the simplicity.  Alternately, the missionaries are basically 19-year-olds, don't expect more than is reasonable for a 19-year-old...

[GrayMars]

12 hours ago, bytebear said:

The missionaries job is to introduce you to truth, and to teach you how to conform that truth is from God through the Holy Ghost.  They really aren't there to go into the details of the church.  That comes through study, church attendance, and time.  They are there to tell you what you need to do to find out if this is the right church, and what steps you need to take if you decide it is the right church (i.e.  Word of Wisdom, etc.). The basics, if you will.  So, use them to guide you in what you need to do to further your journey, but its up to you to take the steps of finding out for yourself, and it's your journey, so take it at your pace.  They wont mind if you are honest about how you feel.  So read the Book of Mormon, study the message, and pray to God in faith, and seek answers, both here on this website, with the missionaries, through church attendance, while learning to be attuned to the influence of the Holy Ghost.

Thank you. I think some of this was presented at the beginning of the meeting about the Holy Ghost and finding out if it is the right church. Of course, I quickly forget this kind of thing, so it's good to have someone clarify what exactly I should be focused on when hearing the missionaries out.

2 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Best policy: be open and honest.

I like you analogy of a drop in the ocean.  Mormonism is an ocean, undoubtably: a rich tradition of scripture and God's workings nowadays.  It's quite easy and understandable to feel overwhelmed at first.  How to counter that feeling: take things one step at a time.  Start with the basics: Christ.  Talk & learn about that first, and try to resist them temptation to get distracted on less important things.  If you're confused/overwhelmed/tired/any other emotion, tell the missionaries.  Open and honest is the best policy always.

I'm not dumping everything on you below, it's just I needed a place to put it. I'm glad you agree with honesty as the best policy, I know not being honest would just result in havoc: a bad experience and an irrational justification for disliking the Church (and right now I don't have a dislike for you all, maybe some disagreements).

I find it difficult to process topics like Jesus when speaking to missionaries, because I've spent some time looking into this topic myself and it has played an important role in the way I view Christianity in particular, as well as religion (or at least the Abrahamic ones). It is important not to put so much value in my own view of Jesus (and of God) that I close myself off to hearing from people with different views than my own. It's easy to choose to spend time looking at different views and realizing that mine lacks something, or that I didn't know something.

That is the simple part.

The hard part is being able to look and say "You know what. My mind is made up about that." I fear confrontation though, or even feeling like someone is at odds with me. They're free to disagree, but if it goes beyond that i say I'm afraid. And being afraid of confrontation makes it even worse. Do you think I should just say "My mind is made up about that (at the moment)"? Another thing I fear is not being accepted. And it's an irrational fear in this instance, I just know it. I have a lot of fears, a lot of goals, a lot of stuff I need to work on.

I'm lucky to have people in my life already who want to support me. I need to meet new people, but I feel I'm at a time where doing something so drastic would alter me in a bad way.

2 hours ago, tesuji said:

The missionaries are called to teach. They have that priesthood authority. The best lessons with missionaries are those where the Holy Spirit is present. When you feel that, you will know what they are teaching is true. However, definitely ask questions and learn. We believe in learning both by faith and by study.

The Book of Mormon is great. I encourage you to say a little prayer to God before you read it, to help you understand. Feel free to skip parts for now, if you want. But I think it's a pretty straightforward book.

And feel free to ask questions here. The gospel is simple at its core, but there's also a lot to learn. Take your time. Also, the church is often misunderstood by non-members. We believe we are the church of Christ, re-established in modern time after it was lost after Christ's death.

I don't think there's any reason to be anxious. No one is going to force you to do anything you aren't ready for. If you feel like they are somehow pressuring you, then remind them that's now how the gospel works  

Best wishes  to you!

Right, thanks for everything. The reason to be anxious is twenty-fold, really. I agree that there isn't a purpose to being anxious in regards to the reason the missionaries and I are getting together to speak.

[Jane_Doe]

@GrayMars 

First off, I'd like to compliment you on how honest you are with yourself.  Knowing yourself well will greatly benefit you on any path.

Second in regards to your question... admittedly I'm not sure exactly what you're asking but I'll try to take a stab at an answer--

In general there are two ways a person can approach religious dialogue:

Way 1) Only talk with people who agree with you and have a nice echo chamber.  If anyone comes along with a different thought, you them immediately stick your head in the sand and pretend to be an ostrich. 

Way 2) Be okay talking to people who don't have identical thoughts to you.  This does require maturity and the ability to agree to disagree at points, but can be quite rewarding in learning about different people, and learning about yourself (because inevitably someone will ask an unexpected question).  

The LDS perspective is admittedly different than Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, or Islamic thoughts.  LDS missionaries do exist to teach people about LDS views-- but that's not to destroy the previous Truth you have, but to bring you more Truth and Light to celebrate with.  For example on Christ: if you grew up Catholic or Protestant, you've probably learned that Christ is the Savior of the world-- this is Truth and something to be celebrated.  But then LDS missionaries can bring you additional Truths about Christ, such as the fact that He still personally leads His church in this world.