Self Image: Look Upward, Not Outward

[Third Hour]

I'm going to let you in on a little (embarrassing) secret: I've never been very happy with the way I look. I think I always assumed that once I got married, I'd be all confident and my self image would be fantastic because I'd finally found someone who thought I was attractive enough to look at for eternity. Spoiler alert: getting married did not resolve all of my insecurities. Like, at all. Turns out, that change has to come from within or something. Ugh. Stupid. John Bytheway's "A Crash Course in Teenage Survival" As a kid, I remember reading a book one of my older siblings owned: A Crash Course in Teenage Survival by John Bytheway. I don't remember much, but there's one thing that always stuck with me — John Bytheway's commentary on our sources of confidence. He talked about placing our confidence in the wrong place: our social status, our boyfriends/girlfriends, our intellect, etc. (And don't quote me on this, because I was like, 10...) Basically, the point Brother Bytheway made was that...

View the full article

[Vort]

Reasonable article. Good points. But she touches on one of my pet peeves:

Quote

watch Dove ads until the cows come home about the realities of airbrushing and how no one actually looks that perfect

I have never understood this. Never. Not from since I was a little boy. Why would saying "no one is that perfect" ever be a source of comfort? If it's true that "no one is that perfect", then whatever "perfection" you're talking about is non-existent. It's like comforting yourself by saying, "No one can fly by flapping his arms". Well, duh. How is this sort of observation supposed to be helpful?

On the other hand -- what if someone really is "that perfect"? What if some woman really is so stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful that her photographs never need to be airbrushed and are always amazing? Therefore...what? We're justified in feeling bad about ourselves? We should be envious and petty? The existence of people that have such a state of perfection means that we suck?

[zil]

31 minutes ago, Vort said:

The existence of people that have such a state of perfection means that we suck? 

Well, one thing is for certain - I suck.  (It's a common malady on these forums, or so they say.)

[Guest]

On 9/15/2018 at 11:04 AM, Vort said:

On the other hand -- what if someone really is "that perfect"? What if some woman really is so stunningly, breathtakingly beautiful that her photographs never need to be airbrushed and are always amazing?

My wife really is. It drives other women crazy (including her older sister whom my wife practically worships) that she doesn't wear makeup and she's still the prettiest woman there.  To me, she's prettiest BECAUSE she doesn't wear makeup.

She hated her hair because she thought it was "ratty".  I told her to stop brushing it so much.  She finally "got lazy" and lightly dried her hair after a shower. It air dried perfectly. She refused to believe her husband who was "obviously biased".  Then she went to the cleaner who spontaneously and energetically expressed his agreement with me.

She now doesn't work so hard on her hair.

She still has confidence issues about her looks. 

Cue "she don't know she's beautiful"