L_and_P21 Posted January 19, 2008 Report Share Posted January 19, 2008 in 2006 i was called to serve a mission in the netherlands and 5 months into my mission i was sent home for medical reasons. technically i had anger issues and i couldnt hack being around people 24/7. since i have been home i have made some not so good choices. im still active, as much as i can be. most of my problems stem from the girl i love. she is not a member. she has come to church with me a few times. she was cornered by my friends father into taking the discussions. she took the first one and didnt like it but she enjoys it when she and i read the scriptures. she is now i the netherlands... as a nanny. she has been there since last september. i cant stop thinking about her. i pray for her and for the Lord to help me now what to do. but it seems like i never get an answer. looking back it seems like i almost never got an answer to my prayers ever. yes there are certain prayers that have been answer. but ones about life and what i should do there in feel like they have never been answered. before she left we talked about getting married. i told her i would pray about it to make sure it was right along with fasting. well i feel like i havent had an answer. feeling like i get no answers to prayers is very frustrating to the point where i feel like im just a lost cause. but like we have been told when we dont get a yes or no answer or a stupor of thought we should just go for it, that is what i think but my mom says that because the Lord hasnt answered that means that i dont need to know at this point in my life. i brought up my missin because even there when i prayed for help just getting through the days or to help me love my companions, i felt most days i never got an answer or help. so here i am 23 years old, lost my gf, lost my job, didnt serve a fulltime mission and have barely any education under my belt. my psychologist says that my mission is over and that i should move on with my life and go to school and get married. my patriarchal blessing says that i will serve a full time mission as long as i obey the commandments (havent done so well there) and i dont know what to study in school. i have prayed for help on all these things along with were to find a new job and feel like i havent recieved an answer. i feel so completely lost and useless to the point where i feel like God should just take me. any suggestions or comments and what i might think about or study or experiences that you have had would be greatly appreciated. thanks ps hope i didnt jump around too much in my talking, i tend to do that alot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NateHowe Posted January 19, 2008 Report Share Posted January 19, 2008 President Eyring has said, "When we become casual in our scripture study, we will become casual in our prayers." Start by opening the scriptures with an expectation that you will find the answers through revelation while reading them. This is not a one-time exercise - do it every day for a period of time, and you will find yourself coming to know God again as you live by the truth you acquire. Moroni's Promise in Chapter 10 includes the requirement of REAL INTENT. Study the scriptures with real intent, and it will be a great benefit in your search for revelation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L_and_P21 Posted January 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2008 thanks. i try that but most of the time i get so caught up in the story and history that i do forget why i am reading. thanks again for the quick response Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillowTheWhisp Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 I may be wrong but reading your post, especially where you say "i feel so completely lost and useless to the point where i feel like God should just take me." it comes over that you could be suffering from depression. Have you considered talking to someone about this? Perhaps you could speak to your Bishop regarding the possibility of being referred to a counsellor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L_and_P21 Posted January 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 i have been diagnosed with a minor case of depression. i dont need medication. i go to a psychologist once a month and my bishop knows as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GoingThruTheMotions Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 It sounds like you are trying to get answers from everyone else (including God) and not making a decision for yourself. It is entirely possible that you just need to make the decision to marry her or go after her. Don't cop out and say God take me, take responsibility and go for it! It sounds like if you are not getting answers to your prayers, then you need to find another way to solve those problems or questions - namely making your own decisions. I feel that we are often taught so strongly to be lead by the spirit, we don't actually take responsibility for our own decisions or direction. I struggled to find answers to marry my wife. I did everything I could to receive answers by talking to people, reading the scriptures, going to the temple, praying, going to the bishop, etc. I never took the responsibility of this very major decision always waiting for someone else to be my revelation. What it finally came down to, is that I needed to decide for myself. It was scary, but invigorating and I felt empowered. I am now married with 3 kids. Life has its' ups and downs, but you need to own your life and you will find your path. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 depression can block answers to prayers....been there, it's hard to hear the lord through the fog. also, sometimes we need to figure out the answer and take it to the lord for a confirmation not just ask "what should i do" but "i would like to do...or i think i should...., do i (can i) have your blessing on this" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztodd Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 You might need to study out the issues in your life some more before your H.F. gives you an answer. Make a list of the pros and cons- list all the good reasons you and your girlfriend should be married- all the ways you're compatible, etc., and then a list of all the reasons why it might not be the right thing right now.. ponder on it a lot, talk to your family about it, talk to H.F. about it in the same way, presenting your logic with all the reasons to him.. study the scriptures with the focus on looking for things to help you in your particular situation.. and have faith and confidence that since you did your part in doing those things, you can expect an answer. Bless you in your searching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NateHowe Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Although the Lord sometimes chooses to give me a recognizable feeling (this IS the answer), more often He reminds me that I already know the answer. Here is an example of a conversation (slightly dramatized) I often have with myself and with God. Me: University or work? God: [silence] Me (reasoning): What does the prophet say? Get all the education you can. Plus, I don't want to work as a waiter for most of my life. I think I should probably register for classes. Now. Is that right? God: Yep. Another one: Me: Which girl should I marry? God: [long silence] Me: Well, here come Girl 1, Girl 2, and Girl 3. All of them are cute. With Girl 1, we get along well, and she's fun, but our conversations are pretty superficial. Girl 2 is really, really nice and intelligent, but I don't really feel attracted to her. Girl 3 is brilliant and cute, and we are great friends. I'll try dating her for awhile and see what happens. [A few months of dating occur with Girl 3] Me: This is great - we have similar views on the things that are really important to each of us, and she helps me to keep the commandments. Should I marry her? God: Of course. Me: Woohoo! Basically, the Lord doesn't cheat us by telling us answers before we go through the necessary process to get them. Many times, it requires experimentation - action in the direction you think is most right without a confirmation. The confirmation will come from God when it is needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillowTheWhisp Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Sometimes when you feel like you haven't got an answer to prayer it can be because you have got an answer but it isn't the one you were hoping for so you don't actually 'listen' to it.I'm glad to hear that your depression has been recognised and that you do receive treatment (It doesn't have to be medication) - as someone else has said depression can often create a fog through which it is hard to detect the answers to prayer. Just hang on in there. It does get better eventually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustardseed Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 You have gotten some really good responses here. One thing that stuck out to me is that you said that you don't need medication. I have had depression for nearly 20 years. Incidentally, my depression started when I was on my mission. Just from reading your original post lost of red flags went up. YOu saying something like "God should just take me" is pretty serious. I understand your hesitation in not wanting to be on medication. I have felt the same way. I especially don't like the prescription ones. Here are the links for two natural ones that I have found that I like. they really do help get your chemicals back in balance so you can feel good and not have that yucky fog and feeling of hopelessness and despair that make it so hard to feel the spirit. Iceland Health Mood Enhancement Formula Clarocet Product Family: Official Website USA - Occasional Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, Depressed Mood and Occasional Sleep Difficulty -- Clarocet is a natural alternative and not a treatment This site has been a huge help to me in recognizing the symptoms of depression and giving me the tools to deal with it. uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/Life can be very confusing and I imagine that the fact that you didn't complete your mission is causing you to worry that the promises in your blessing have possibly become void. I had those kinds of worries myself. It's a very long story but things have happened in my life that seem to somewhat contradict with things in my blessing. One thing you need to remember is that Heavenly Father knows that you have depression. He understands how hard it is for you. Also He is all knowing, all powerful etc while we have limited vision, knowledge and understanding. You can't limit Him. ;-) Hope all of this makes sense and helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L_and_P21 Posted January 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 its not that i want to cop out, its just that sometimes that seems like the easiest route. the Lord wants us to improve out character and the way we do that is by enduring through our struggles. i have made a pros and cons list on why i should marry her. the pros pwned the cons and i sat for about 20 min thinking about the cons. my depression is seasonal and situational. i do not have a chemical imbalance, but thank you for the help and concern. i do try to take action, to what i feel is the best of my ability. and it just seems that i fall so short of every goal. i am, though, talking the U of U so that i can go back to school for the third time. ive been saving my money to take a trip over to the netherlands to visit my ex, she doesnt want me to. and i have been out trying to find a job, no success yet. and in all this sometimes i forget to pray. ive tried to date other girls or atleast hang out with them but they all seem to not want to by either not answering their phone or making up some excuse as to why they cant. this is after they ask me to hang out with them and for me to call them. my ex was the only one who would ever answer the phone and want to do something, even when we were just friends, but now she is starting to not talk to me like the rest but she will talk to me for about 5 min everyday on msn, her i understand because of the time difference and the fact that she is taking care of 3 kids all day. but others, when they specifically ask me to do something with them, make up some excuse as to why they cant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WANDERER Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 *** Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustardseed Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Good thoughts, wonderer. I'm glad that this thing sent me an e-mail because I didn't get to finish my thoughts and could not find this thing again. This site is really hard to navigate. Anyways, I also wanted to say that because it appears to you like you are not getting answers and that the Lord isn't working in your life does not mean that that is the case. You are only aware of small portion of what is going on. Somebody did a wonderful illustration of this idea where they ahd a picture that was matted. It looked like a picture of just a flower or tree( I can't remember what it was, but that's not important) when they removed the mat we realized that actually it was a picture of an immense landscape. Also, it is very commendable that you are taking action to improve your life. Give yourself credit and keep trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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