Cookies Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 Hello everyone! I am from one of the East European countries where there's not much LDS members. Most of the people are either Catholic or Orthodox. I am the only member in my family (well, for now.) I have been a member for almost two years and it has been so wonderul growing your own testimony and seeing other people accept the truth and live by the gospel. I am so happy that one of my friends has finally decided to get baptized! Well, I do have one problem. There is this 22 year old guy. He married a former sister missionary (well, actually, she was a missionary when they started dating so she quit her mission to marry him). And that happened so soon! So, anyway, they have been married for 7 months and then she stopped coming to the church during the week. And he, on the other hand, was very polite and nice to me - he would call me every single day and make cookies for my mom. So, I told the branch president to keep an eye on him because I had a feeling that something was wrong. And then, our branch president finally told me one night that this guy wanted to divorce his wife because he had feelings for me. I had a feeling that something like that was going on, but I didn't want to jump to a conclusion too fast. I listened to the advice of my branch president and didn't come to the church during the week and I didn't answer his phone calls. I didn't tell this to anyone in the church, but it got worse. His wife hates me now. I guess they don't even know that I know. And the hardest thing is just seeing them unhappy. What can I do? Is there anyone with a similar situation? Or maybe someone that can tell me what to do? I know it is hard for his wife and I really feel sorry. I have no bad feelings for her although she hates me and does nasty stuff. Lately I've been thinking of becoming inactive, but I have a testimony that I can't deny that easily. Thank you for all your help Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 What can I do?I favor complete transparency in such situations. I would find a way to communicate the following to the guy, his wife, the branch president, and anyone else involved:"I am not interested in any sort of relationship with anyone disgusting enough to get married and then let his eye wander away from his wife. I mean really - why on earth would I wish to be involved with someone who acts in ways that prove he cannot be trusted to keep the most sacred and important vows a human being can make?"I might consider shouting this from the church roof, hiring a sky writer, or taking out a full-page ad in the local newspaper. Whatever it takes to leave absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind exactly where I fit in someone else's marriage.LM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaskagain Posted February 20, 2008 Report Share Posted February 20, 2008 Please do not become inactive, that will not help anything, and will hurt your spiritual growth greatly! I am glad you have listened the advice your branch president has offered you. Continue to do as he says, and pray over the matter as well. Always be kind to this guy's wife. Never be alone with him under any circumstances in any place, not even inside the church building. Never say more than "Hello" to this guy, and only then when he has spoken directly to you in public. If he tries to press a conversation, start talking cheerily to someone else . If things are very uncomfortable, perhaps there is another branch you could attend. Or perhaps you could look into serving a mission yourself, that would take you out of the area. Best wishes for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WANDERER Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 · Hidden Hidden A more honest statement would be that he does not have these feelings for his wife and that is his reason for wanting divorce. Link to comment
WillowTheWhisp Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 I agree with what Loudmouth Mormon says. You need to make it perfectly clear to him, her and the Branch President that you are offended by him and his appalling treatment of his wife.I'm also a bit surprised that someone would quit a mission to come home and marry and that someone would expect someone to do that. I would have more admiration for a person who would encourage the missionary to complete their mission and 'return with honour'. If there's a lesson to be learned here too it is to stay well away from married men bearing cookies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookies Posted February 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 Hello everyone! Thank you for all your help and advices! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argentina84 Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 Please, don't go inactive in the Church. I would do what Loudsmouth adviced. Make it clear you don't want anything with the guy. But don't let this situation affect your relationship with God. Kind regards! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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