Rozalie

[Rozalie_Marie]

Hello,

I am a non-LDS woman who has recently dedicated her life to Christ, after marriage. I married a man from a "Christian" family, and I am from a "Christian" family. However, in both of our upbringings, Christianity is more of a culture than a medium to bring one closer to God. I have been as guilty of this in the past as anyone I know. Practically speaking, this means it's ok to say you follow and believe in God, and do all the churchy things to be socially acceptable, but you're weird if you actually take it seriously or seek a real relationship with God that would transform you into anything but "normal". This is where my hubby is at. The first time I felt an incredible connection to God was on my wedding day. My vows were my first heartfelt prayer, yet I do not believe I came to a saving knowledge of Christ till later.

I've also been keenly aware lately of all the ways that I am not "manifesting" my love for God in my actions. Sometimes I don’t blame my husband for his disinterest, if I am to be an example for what loving God looks like. That is the one prayer that God answers more quickly than all others...show me where I need to improve! I am such an introvert, and it has been difficult to apply what I learn in real life, or to make the gospel change me...a secret Christian life is a useless one. I think I'm just coming to the realization that you can't "make" the gospel change you...especially if you are either unintentionally or intentionally disobedient.

I have investigated the Church off and on since I was a teen, along with many other faiths. It has taken me a good twelve years to actually come to a place where I can accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I use my head over my heart. If I had just put the books down and actually prayed, I bet I would have recognized that I am a child of God a lot sooner. Do I wish I had come to Him sooner? Yes! But I believe that Heavenly Father has His own timing too...and I learned what I had to learn from the process...and will continue to do so.

I continually feel drawn to the LDS faith. I don't know why, exactly. I wrote papers on it in college, have used pioneer journals in my historical research, and feel spiritually uplifted every time I hear a testimony, listen to a hymn, or read anything associated with the church.

I've read all the anti stuff, everything on exmormon.org, utlm.org, and many other sites. So what. You can talk yourself into or out of anything you wish, but you must go where your heart lies. We’ll all be accountable to God in the end.

Do I have serious concerns about the historicity of the BOM and BOA? Yes. I can't prove Jonah and the whale either. Even if the BOM is fiction, the life lessons in the stories help me with my walk with God. I really don’t care if it is fiction, God speaks through human imagination too. I know some will disagree with me, but that is just where I'm at right now.

Even before I became familiar with the Church, I instinctively believed in a premortal existence, and the fact that we are all literal sons and daughters of Heavenly Father and Mother. Although, I do not understand why the LDS church does not allow people to pray to both Parents.

I also believe strongly that marriage is eternal, and did before coming to a knowledge of LDS beliefs, despite the fact that there are verses in the NT that seem to contradict that belief.

So here I stand. The Church shares my belief in a premortal existence, but may to some degree believe that I was less valiant in the preexistence because I was not BIC. I believe in my Heavenly Parents, but if I join the LDS Church, I can’t talk to my Mother anymore if I wish to be obedient to the leaders. I believe that marriage and family is for eternity for those that come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ (I believe there is enough reference to humans keeping their identities after death to infer this) but if I join the Church, I have to accept the additional belief that only LDS members sealed in the temple stay together forever.

I suppose I could stick with my personal beliefs and not care what the LDS church thinks. Yet I can’t help but find it unusual that this is the only church I’ve found that shares some of my unique beliefs. At least I’ve found them unique, in comparison to other Christians.

Rozalie

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Rozalie_Marie,

Fascinating story. A few comments

Church shares my belief in a premortal existence, but may to some degree believe that I was less valiant in the preexistence because I was not BIC.

It's true some mormons used to believe that (maybe some still do), but it's not really part of our doctrine. More like a cultural myth passed from generation to generation.

if I join the LDS Church, I can’t talk to my Mother anymore if I wish to be obedient to the leaders.

You totally lost me here. Which church leader says you won't be able to talk to your mother any more? Are you talking about your earthly mother? The church isn't in the habit of breaking up families...

but if I join the Church, I have to accept...

Here are a few quotes that may help you make up your mind:

I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken that influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way. Let every man and woman know, by the whispering of the Spirit of God to themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not. This has been my exhortation continually

Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses, Vol. 9, p. 150

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Latter-day Saints are not obedient because they are compelled to be obedient. They are obedient because they know certain spiritual truths and have decided, as an expression of their own individual agency, to obey the commandments of God. We are the sons and daughters of God, willing followers, disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, and "under this head are [we] made free." (Mosiah 5: 8 )

Those who talk of blind obedience may appear to know many things, but they do not understand the doctrines of the gospel. There is an obedience that comes from a knowledge of the truth that transcends any external form of control. We are not obedient because we are blind, we are obedient because we can see.

Boyd K. Packer, "Agency and Control," Ensign, May 1983, 66

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Concerning the question of blind obedience. Not a man in this Church, since the Prophet Joseph Smith down to the present day, has ever asked any man to do as he was told blindly. No Prophet of God, no Apostle, no President of a Stake, no Bishop, who has had the spirit of his office and calling resting upon him, has ever asked a soul to do anything that they might not know was right and the proper thing to do. We do not ask you to do anything that you may not know it is your duty to do, or that you may not know will be a blessing for you to do.

If we give you counsel, we do not ask you to obey that counsel without you know[ing] that it is right to do so. But how shall we know that it is right? By getting the Spirit of God in our hearts, by which our minds may be opened and enlightened, that we may know the doctrine for ourselves, and be able to divide truth from error, light from darkness and good from evil

Joseph F. Smith, Collected Discourses, ed. Brian H. Stuy, Vol. 3 (Burbank, B.H.S. Publishing, 1987-1992)

Welcome to the board!

LM

[tree]

hi rozalie, thanks for your honesty, first of all you havent been called towards the church for no reason. i believe you are searching for the path that leads back to heavenly father. ive searched numerous faiths even the gnostics,but it wasnt untill i joined the LDS church that i found the peace that passes all understanding. go to the truthisrestored.com and your questions will be answered, and pray with the most sincere heart youve ever prayed. there will be your answer. may the holy spirit speak truth to you. tree

[Maya]

Wei come!

I know excactly what you are talking about. I was a lutheran from a VERY religious home, both granddads were preasts. I felt the same as you about the culture thing and not getting closer to God. I too fetl often Gods love and I loved Him so much and I always wished to do His will.

Long time ago ...when I still was achild I kind of decided that the bible is true... even though there was a lot I did not understand ...same happened later with the BOM. I have learned to accept my imperfectness in understanding everything. But I have also noticed that understanding gospel and God IS something that gets deeper and deeper every time you spend some time in studying Gods words and lead a pure life.

I really did not get familiar with the Church before I was over 30, but then I KNEW right away that I ahd come home!

About praying.. Jesus is our middleman when praying to God... can not see anything that would be against talking to, with Jesuses mother either... She is a person who should be highly tought of, but not put on Gods place. However I lack the Catholic insight to this problem, which youn obviosly have. I think we can talk to anyone who is not with us now, but only through Jesus we are adressing our Hevenly Father.

I really think you should listen to your heartand!

I understand that you do love your husband and I hope he will take the ride with you.Mine did not, even though I so much felt that marriage is for eternity... just like you. There were so many things I seemed to know already many things of LDS belief, even thoug I never heard of it. It was a joyous ride to become amember.. even though my husband chose an other way (you can read my testimony on this forum on Testimonies)...

I am around every now and then, but there is so much to read through here... I miss threads...but I am around... keepin touch!! Good hunting!!:)

[Dr T]

Welcome Rozalie :)

[Argentina84]

Welcome to LDS.NET Rozalie!