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The Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...

(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....

(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....

(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back?

You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...(Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....

(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...

(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...

(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you...

(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and therewas only one life jacket...

(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...

(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas & West Virginia)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...

(Inside card) - What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...

(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

Got this in an e-mail and thought I'd take one out and share :) Enjoy

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