Frustrated

[Landy77]

I guess you can say I am investigating per say. I have met with a missionaries a few times, been to ward a few times and in chat brought up many of my questions. I have met a lot of nice people and admire how LDS church operate. My wife is LDS and she refuses to go to church with me and I with her. I decided to look into LDS and what the difference is between LDS and my church. Over all I have no problem attending a ward, but some of the doctrine I do not believe in. So I am back at square one. I think the only reason I am writing this is because I want to believe in Joseph Smith, Sealing, BoM and the D&C. If I believed and became a member my marriage would be much easier. If I blindly accepted everything regardless of how I came to that conclusion what kind of testimony is that? I am at the conclusion that I investigated with an open heart and mind and have come to the conclusion LDS is not the place for me. I say this with a heavy heart because it may cost me my marriage of 3 years and my 2 year old son. This is how deep my conviction is. All I can say is I tried...

[skalenfehl]

...This is how deep my conviction is. All I can say is I tried...

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you don't give up. Father in Heaven tests us but never greater than we can handle. More often than not we fall short of our potential; just short of the finish line. It is that extra climb, that leap of faith, that extra struggle that really tries us and where the reward is sweetest. Have you really read in the Book of Mormon and pondered it in your heart? Have you truly prayed to know of it's truth and willing to live according to your answer?

I have to ask if your reason for investigating the church is for your wife or your family...or for you? You have to work out your own salvation for your own sake before you can reach for your family. Once you have decided that you will fully commit to the answer that you hope to receive; when the Lord sees that you are indeed ready to take up that cross and follow Him no matter what, and the trial of your faith has been put through the fire, then will you find the truth. That is when you will have built your foundation of faith to build upon. Only then can you move forward and strengthen your family in the gospel.

Only Father in Heaven can judge when He has tried us enough to grant us what we truly want. Only you know how far you are willing to go to get to that point and beyond. The Book of Mormon is true. It was written by prophets of the Lord for our day. Once you come to know this truth everything else that hinges on it is therefore true. That is my witness to you.

[a-train]

We must not think that we are ever finshed investigating. Whether we attend LDS services every week and serve in the Church, or decide never to return, we are still investigating. As long as we have any mental, spiritual capacity, we are investigating. The youngest infant is investigating, the oldest senior is investigating. It matters not what ethnicity, nationality, gender, age, religious background, education, or occupation we can be characterized by, we are ever learning whether we like it or not.

Let the spirit of humility, charity, and forgiveness pour into you. It will cast out all doubt and with that will go all fear. None of us are yet pure. It is expedient that each and every one of us take steps daily to purge ourselves of the darkness of sin with the light of the Spirit of God.

Even one having been born into the Church and having lived decades of faithfulness can become trapped by the lure of temptation and the fear of darkness. Only those who hold fast to the rod of iron will find their way to the tree of life. (Read 1 Nephi 8, 11, and 15:21-30)

I have lived a life of great trial. But I can say with honesty that when I have studied the scriptures, my mind has been filled with understanding, my bowels have been filled with love, and my soul has been strengthened.

There is a light in each man that is capable of great power in shining in darkness and bringing to light much good. But without maintainence, this light will dim unto darkness. Do not let that light go out. Breath onto it as much oxygen as possible, feed it the fuel it needs.

I cannot stress enough the curing power of scripture study. As I take part in it, my anger is overcome by love, my doubts are taken away by faith, my fears are dashed by courage, my vision is brought into clarity, and my faculties are empowered.

It is up to you to decide for yourself what you will do. I have full faith that as you listen to God you will be led accordingly. And, if it be the will of God that you should not be baptized at this time, let it be. But overall, your efforts will be greatly enhanced by a solid and unquestionable understanding of the will of God through personal prayer and revelation.

God bless you and may His Hand of Guidance be upon you and your family.

-a-train

[crytsprospect]

The last two posts have got it so I can add no more but to say I agree and thank them for doing such a good job.....

[grannysue]

I guess you can say I am investigating per say. I have met with a missionaries a few times, been to ward a few times and in chat brought up many of my questions. I have met a lot of nice people and admire how LDS church operate. My wife is LDS and she refuses to go to church with me and I with her. I decided to look into LDS and what the difference is between LDS and my church. Over all I have no problem attending a ward, but some of the doctrine I do not believe in. So I am back at square one. I think the only reason I am writing this is because I want to believe in Joseph Smith, Sealing, BoM and the D&C. If I believed and became a member my marriage would be much easier. If I blindly accepted everything regardless of how I came to that conclusion what kind of testimony is that? I am at the conclusion that I investigated with an open heart and mind and have come to the conclusion LDS is not the place for me. I say this with a heavy heart because it may cost me my marriage of 3 years and my 2 year old son. This is how deep my conviction is. All I can say is I tried...

Might I suggest, since this is obviously so important to the well-being of your family, that you "experiment upon the word" by attending church and being involved for a period of one year? That is what my mother's husband did when they married, and he felt just like you do at the outset. Over time, though, he gained a testimony. Maybe that would happen for you, too. At the beginning, he was only involved with the Church because it was important to my mother. Now it's important to him. He was baptized several years ago.

Below are the scriptures from Alma 32 that apply. I hope all goes well for you and your family.

27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to eenlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own alikeness.

32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.

35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?

36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.

39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.

41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.

42 And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

43 Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.

[MorningStar]

That is so hard. You'll be in my prayers. :)

[tree]

i don't feel that the difference in church beliefs should break up your marriage, those kids love and need you both, "together" !!!! if you don't gain a testimony , agree to disagree!! you go to yours -she will go to hers. as far as the children take turns taking them to church, our church has a Sunday morning service, and most other churches have Sunday night and wednesday night services. i know it might confuse them a little (but think what it would do to them mentally and emotionally have you two divorced) soon they will be old enough to make their own decisions. but don't play them one religion against another. just pray that the lords will be done. I'm sorry if this sounds to straight forward, not trying to tell you what to do but if it were me in this predicament , this is how i would handle it. to me it makes the best sense. i am no expert but this is my opinion, and i guess that's what you wanted was others opinions ? i hope it helps !! prayers will go out for you and your precious family.