Can't get baptised...

[ra_shelly_ellie]

I've been looking in to converting for the past two years. but I never seem to truly commit. I know why. I'm scared. I think i'm going to be a bad LDS kid, my parents won't accept me, my father won't see me get married. Will I be disowning my non-LDS family? I'm just very lost...In a very big, very bad world. I don't drink or smoke, do drugs, sware, or involve myself in inappropriate relations. Just don't know how to convince myself I will be a good mormon.

[Gretchen]

Did you talk to your Bishop about this?

[ra_shelly_ellie]

No i have not, I'm not sure how to explain it to him without him thinking i'm doing bad things.

[ztodd]

Do you parents know you are thinking of joining? How do they feel about it?

[Misshalfway]

How could you possibly be a "bad" lds kid? That doesn't sound like the voice of the Savior speaking to you. That sounds like the adversary. I know, cuz he lays this kinda stuff on me all the time. And I know that sometimes there are tough family situations when a person leaves the family faith. And I know it will be heart breaking in the case of a wedding. Give your concerns to Father in Heaven. Miracles are His specialty. He does move mountains and change water to wine. He can change peoples hearts too. And NO, you are absolutely not disowning them!!!

Maybe you feel bad because mormons look ssooooo perfect. Maybe the bar looks soooo high... I don't know exactly what in your perceptions are that could be helping you to feel that you don't measure up, but let me assure you that we are all human. Every last stinking one of us!! Well.......not all of us stink. :) But all of us have such flaws!! Lots you can see.... and even more you can't. Don't let something like that stop you.

If you want to talk to the bishop, do that. But talk to him like a friend... someone who can advise you. Not someone who is scanning your soul for micro-sins. Bishops are people too. They are warm and loving most of the time. There are other people you can talk to as well. What about the relief society pres or the ward mission leader. Or even better, the ward mission leaders wife! Or just find a trusted friend who you know has oodles of faith.

You said it yourself.... you are living right. So, you know what? Tell Satan to get out of your head and get thee hence! and get to those waters of baptism! Take the leap of faith, and jump in. The water is warm!

[ra_shelly_ellie]

thank you so much that was really inspiring!

[HomeAgain]

I've been looking in to converting for the past two years. but I never seem to truly commit. I know why. I'm scared. I think i'm going to be a bad LDS kid, my parents won't accept me, my father won't see me get married. Will I be disowning my non-LDS family? I'm just very lost...In a very big, very bad world. I don't drink or smoke, do drugs, sware, or involve myself in inappropriate relations. Just don't know how to convince myself I will be a good mormon.

Hi ... It sounds like you have some reasons to be afraid, because you're worried about relationships that are important to you. Maybe it's still not the right time for you. But in my view, that's OK. You are essentially living the gospel already, and you can enjoy the blessings of your good decisions, too -- even without baptism!

I am actually in a similar situation. I'm about to get rebaptized into the church. I left for a few years because my Mormon husband decided to become Catholic. I tried being Catholic but in my heart knew that I was a Mormon girl for life.

So, I have to decide WHEN to get rebaptized, but I'm a little nervous. I haven't talked to my husband about it yet, and I'm kinda stressed. I know I don't need his permission, but I don't want to rock the boat since we're trying to resolve how to raise our children in two different faiths, and right now we're still working out the logistics of attending separate meetings, etc.

So, I have decided to postpone baptism until I can feel more confident that it is the right time. It doesn't mean I'm not committed, it's just that it doesn't feel right NOW.

If I were you I would really think about what you want, what you're worried about, and how you can resolve those worries. Sometimes just talking things over with our non-LDS loved ones can ease our fears. Explain your feelings and your fears and hopes. Maybe your relatives will be super understanding if you just sincerely explained your feelings.

Good luck!!!

[WillowTheWhisp]

Hi ra_shelly-ellie. I'm a convert. My parents thought I was off my noodle but they didn't disown me. Friends thought I needed to be rescued because they thought I must have been brainwashed but it eventually dawned on everyone that I had made my own choices and was committed to them. Have you talked to your family about it? Do you actually know how they would feel? Becoming LDS doesn't mean you need to cut yourself off from your family, in fact quite the opposite.The church is very family centred and would never encourage you to alienate yourself from them.

I've been a member so long now that it's sometimes hard to remember what it was like before I joined the church but I do remember feeling some of the feelings you describe though. I remember looking at church families and thinking they seemed so perfect and that I was nothing like that. I remember hearing people give talks quoting this and that General Authority who said such and such in a conference talk way back whenever and I used to think I would never know who all those people were who they were talking about! Now I do it myself. Even when I'm just talking to friends I'll say "Do you remember what Elder Holland said when he gave that blessing?" or "Wasn't that talk by Elder Oaks brilliant back in 1986?"

But like Misshalfway said we are all just ordinary human beings like the same old ordinary human beings you find anywhere else. Some of us get stressed, some of us get annoyed with our kids, some of us forget to buy a battery our husband needs when we went out shopping yesterday! We try to do the things we should, like scripture reading and prayer and Family Home Evening but it doesn't always work out ideal. I can relate to what you're saying too that you don;t know if you will be a good Mormon. I had a time when I felt like I was a lousy Mormon because I hadn't got all my food storage and wasn't this perfect woman in all the twee stories. Eventually I realised though that none of us are. I visited the home of one of the 'perfect' sisters one day when she didn't know I was coming and she was in the middle of washing and her hair was a mess and the house was untidy and the kids were screaming at each other and fighting over a toy car. She just smiled at me and said "Lovely to see you, come in, mind the mess." My heart leap for joy! Catherine had a MESS! A mess was allowed! I didn't feel half so bad after that.

You already sound like a great Mormon. You don't drink or smoke, do drugs, swear, or involve yourself in inappropriate relationships. You are way ahead of a lot of people. Don't be so hard on yourself and remember that whatever you face in life you never have to face it alone. Jesus Christ promised he would always be there for us, even unto the end of the Earth.

BTW, welcome to the forum :)

[puf_the_majic_dragon]

:edit:

I had written this nice reply to someone else's question and I was going to just share that reply with you, but I changed my mind. The gist of it was that sometimes our reasons for believing don't come from other people or from spiritual revelations, but from our own personal hope for what we wish to be true. But I think I'll ask you a question that might be more meaningful - if you have hope or faith or belief in the church, how much does that hope mean to you? Are the things you hope for important enough to be worth sacrificing for? If so, how much are you willing to sacrifice?

King Lamoni's father, in the Book of Mormon, prays to God after hearing from a missionary and he says "I would give up all my sins to know thee." Sometimes, however, we aren't asked to give up just the bad things, but some good things too. I had a psychology teacher in high school tell us "Getting the GOOD things can get in the way of getting the GREAT things."

Food for thought. Here's the other forum thread I mentioned, just in case you want to read it. I think a lot of people might find some value in the answers given to that question as well.

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/10322-missionary-meetings.html#post182232

:edit2:

After reading over a couple of the posts I missed, I have to stress the optimistic, cause I think I missed that boat myself. You do sound like a great mormon, better than some I know at least. And you shouldn't give up on your family or friends if you join the church, but remember that the church is a path to happiness and that you can lead them to happiness through your example. And if they disown you, always remember to love them and pray for them because miracles do happen. And of course talking to them won't hurt. I tend to think people underestimate how much difference just talking can make. So in brief - Ditto to all the good stuff everyone else said.