Vanessa2

I agree with all the above comments, especially the ones about needing time. She needs time to absorb everything you've told her. You just need to keep doing what you're doing. On that same note, it's great that you've returned to the fold of our Savior. However, nowhere in the scriptures does it say that if you've repented after you've goofed up that you'll be spared from the consquences of your actions. That's just not how it works. Unfortunately for many of us, that's part of the learning process. We may have completely repented and be doing everything right now, but that certainly doesn't mean that what we did in the past (sometimes the distant past) can't come back and bite us in the butt. I'm sure the ramifications for your actions will echo for years, honestly. Again, the only thing you can do is stay true and faithful and be there for your wife. Give her time and space.

Many of the differences in the Bible are not in competition with each other as mentioned, but complement each other. Some of the differences that don't quite match up are represent differences in culture and perspective. I have been sports referee for many years and where you are standing at the time makes a huge difference in whether you make a call or not. The people who wrote the Bible are writing from their cultural/perspective/world view. It is how they understood the word of God, not how God gave his words. Certainly, the Bible is the word of God, but that does not mean it is free of men's imperfections. As I read all that, it made me very grateful for modern revelation.

Alaskagain, We all need goals... :)

One thing that I think is must-have is a long white tank top that you can wear under a shirt that might have a neckline that goes to low and is also long enough to add length any shirt that is too short. I have a couple of these and I wear them all the time. This way, I didn't have to throw out all my shirts that were too short or too low after I got endowed. I highly recommend that. When I shop, I go to all the regular stores and just look for things that will cover my garments. That head, knees, and toes thing is important. I hate it when I bend over and my garment top pops out. But that's also where the long undershirt comes in...it's so handy.

I think we have Super Saturdays, but we call them Women's Conferences. I think we have a regional one, but our stake also does one once or twice a year. I hear they're great...I never get to go because my super Saturday consists of working. Lame....

Aphrodite, now I understand better where you are coming from. Whether you believe it or not, the Lord knows where your are coming from, as well. He will be there for you if you decide to come to Him. It seems like a lot of your problems with 'the church' are actually problems with the actions of individuals and the fact that crappy things have happened to you and your family. I don't pretend to know you or your situation, but news flash: crappy things happen to everyone, whether they are members of the church or not. Just because we are members does not mean we are protected from life's challenges and trials, but it does mean we have a better understanding of why those things happen...to make us grow and progress. This includes finding out things that may be don't fit with our view of what we think the church was/is (ie Mountain Meadow Massacre, polygamy, etc), but these things do not mean the church isn't true. Some of these less than desirable aspects of church history are the faults of man and some we just don't completely understand, but I guess that's where doing your homework, prayer, and faith comes in. As with anything, when believing gets hard, that is not the time to quit; that is the time to dig your heals in and work at it. D&C 82:10: "I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise." Maybe you could try 'being controlled' by what the Lord has says and see what happens. You've really got nothing to lose. I don't think you're a negative person; I think you're being honest on your thoughts of the church...that happen to be negative. I'm sure you're a great person. This weekend is General Conference and it's a great opportunity to hear some wonderful speakers give great messages, even if you don't think they are divine. Good luck.

Elagama, you put much better what I was trying to say in regards to being forced to be modest. Being modest isn't restrictive, it's only when the enforcement of it becomes abusive that it becomes a problem. Thanks. Aphrodite, I'll admit the first time I went to the temple it wasn't what I expected and I was a little weirded out. Certainly that's not unusual. In fact, before I got married my mom's best friend told me she received her endowment right before her wedding and cried because she knew at that point the church was wrong and she was about to marry a man who thought it was true. She went through with the wedding and has returned to the temple and told me she has had many wonderful experiences there. The trick is to keep going. The same for me and many other members. The more you go, the more you realize what a wonderful place the temple is and how strong the spirit is. We would not be counseled to go to the temple if it were a bad place. When have the authorities ever told us to do something that is bad for us? Many beautiful discourses have been given on the greatness of the temples; you should read some of them.

Everyone has already given great sources, but I think to sum it up: generally (and this seems to apply to Mitt Romney), members of the church are peace-loving, but are also willing and able to stand up and fight when they deem necessary or when called upon because of duty. As you can see, there are many different political opinions as to when it would be necessary, but I think most of us are proud of our soldiers. I don't know how appropriate my following analyses would be for your purposes, but an interesting comparison occurred to me: the Savior of the world was a meek and lowly person. However, meek certainly does not mean weak and there are countless examples of this in the scriptures (standing up to local religious authorities, turning over the vendors' tables in the temple, etc). I would like to think, that as a people, that is example we follow. We are meek and humble, but we know what is right and wrong, we are not afraid to fight, and there are examples of that throughout history. Certainly Mitt Romney is aware of all of that.

Dirk, I've been taught that you pray until you feel like praying. You pay your full tithe until you feel like paying your full tithe. You go to church even when you don't want to go. Sometimes, by going through the actions for a short while will show the Lord you are willing to be obedient, but that you need the strength and faith to sustain it. I know he will accommodate you, if that is the desire of your heart. Kamper, back to you wanting a church that is part of your every day life. Our previous prophet, who recently passed away, once said that the symbol of our faith (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) is not he recognized Crucifix, but the lives of our people. I've thought about that a lot and it's true. The symbol of our church is how faithful members of the church live their lives every day: with faith, compassion, service, sacrifice, love, and more.

We are supposed to look at our PBs as revelation, just for us. In a sense, they are scripture just for us (if we are obedient and faithful). Just like with the scriptures, your PB will offer you different inspirations every time you read it. We all know what it's like to read a verse you've read 100 times before, except this time it means something different because of your experiences and where you're at in your life. It is the same thing with your PB. While it might seem generic now, you will have experiences in your life that as you read it, you will get inspirations that are just for you.

Perhaps, part of your role in this life includes working, but we should never think of ourselves as being the exception to the commandments and counsels given...that's how get ourselves into trouble (I know from experience). I guess the only thing I can do is encourage anyone who struggles with this issue to study and pray about it; it really shouldn't be as easy as saying "I don't want to, so I'm not going to." We should do the best we can at obeying all the commandments and counsels of the general authorities, even if we fall short, the Lord knows where our hearts are. I definitely agree with Elgama, modesty is liberating for many women of all faiths. The fact that members of our church and Muslims are asked to be modst is not restrictive, the manner in which it is enforced is what makes it restrictive. Needless to say, there is no modesty police for our church, so it's not really restrictive; we have a choice. Some Muslim women are in a situation where they do not have the choice in what they wear without risking serious consequences; at that point, their liberties are being restricted, not because they are asked to be modest but because of the unrighteous dominion over them that forces them to be modest. Honestly, I don't think I've ever heard someone say they got a bad feeling from wearing their garments. That's interesting to me. The garment is not just about modesty, it is a symbol of the covenants we made with our Heavenly Father in the temple and are a protection spiritually and physically from Satan. Why would anyone who understands what they garment is get a bad feeling from wearing them? I understand the garment is not convenient when it comes to trying to find cute clothes, taking them off when we work out only to put them back on again, etc., but whenever I get frustrated with those things, I remember what the garment really is: a protection and reminder. The interesting thing about the Word of Wisdom is that when that revelation was given, there were no studies that said tobacco, alcohol, etc. were bad for the body. The Saints back then didn't know any better; the only thing they knew was that's what the prophet said, so they followed it (not everyone at first, it took time). I'm sure there were Saints who said, "Why shouldn't I be able to enjoy a chew? There's nothing wrong with it and I like it, so I'm going to." However, over time we've learned that the revelation of the Word of Wisdom was truly from God in it's foresightness (is that a word?). I believe it is probably the same thing with women staying home. We may not completely understand it now and see it as restrictive, but I think as Saints we have a responsbility to struggle with it and gain a testimony of it because I'm sure in the future we will see the wisdom and foresightness (again, a word?) of this counsel, as with the Word Wisdom. All of the revelations given to the General Authorities come from God and we should treat them as such. I hope you don't take anything I wrote offensively, I'm just trying to understand where you're coming from.

There was a girl I went to school with that found out I was Mormon and she came right up to me asked, "Aren't you supposed to be wearing all black?" That was a new one to me...

The General Authorities of this church do not want a stupid people; they do not want members of the church to blindly accept everything that is taught. They want us to struggle with it, study it out, pray about it, and gain a testimony of it, so I appreciate where you're coming from. The idea of the church actually stating they want mothers in the home was one of them for me, but now I have a testimony of it...and I don't even have kids. When I was younger, I knew I was going to have a great career. However, as I realized this isn't really a concept they (General Authorities) mince words on, I tried to read more about it, understand it better, and pray about it. It didn't come all at once, but I feel like I understand better what they are saying and why they are saying it. I would encourage you to do same; read other talks given on the subject, study the scriptures, and pray about it. I didn't want be a baby factory; no way, no how. But you know what? The more I read and studied, the more I realized that's not what they are saying. They aren't saying have kids, raise kids, don't ever come out of your house. In fact, the authorities are very careful to say that parents should not have more children than they can provide for financially, spiritually, and emotionally. Families need to be planned carefully and prayerfully. As for the role of women, never has there been an authority that said women only take care of the children and they should find fulfillment in just doing that. What they have said is that women need to proud of being mothers at home, but they have every right to seek fulfillment in other things whether it is in service, in hobbies, in friends, etc. What they discourage is activities that take away from the time/energy spent making the home the place it is supposed to be. Everyone, including General Authorities, knows that human beings need a variety of activities to stay sane...same goes for mothers. Women are encouraged to get as much education is possible for the same reasons you listed (injury or death of a spouse, etc.) and also because it takes smart women to raise smart children. Again, the church does not want stupid members that blindly follow. I have a 4-year degree, have been married for 2 years, no children, have a leadership position at my work, find fulfillment in what I do, and I am gaining more education through online classes. However, I know that when my husband and I have children, all that will have to take a back seat to my family (which isn't a big stretch since I put them first now, too) and that may mean not working for a while, only working part-time, trying to work from home, etc.. I think that's what the authorities want, but those decisions must be made prayerfully. This counsel for women to stay home is not restrictive on women the same way the Word of Wisdom is not restrictive to all members. Both are, in fact, freeing. This counsel is not oppressive in the same way standards of modesty are not oppressive. I could go on. You could look at all commandments as just keeping us down, but we all know they lift us up. Same goes for this one. I cannot think to name all the possible situations where it would be 'acceptable' for the mother to work outside the home, but the biggest would be if, for some reason, the father was unable to work due to injury, etc. I do not know if 'wanting' to is acceptable to work outside the home; that's between you, your husband, and the Lord and something that should be prayed about. But we have to make sure that our (mothers') 'wants' do not get in the way of what our children need...a constant mother.

I don't think Sis. Beck talked about all the different scenarios and choices women could have because then people would use them as excuses. "Sis. Beck said it was ok for women to work outside the home when..." We all know that sometimes people will take counsel and twist it so it fits their situations. I think Sis. Beck was emphasizing the what should be every family's first priority for the role of mothers. Yes, there are acceptable situations where women must work outside the home. Yes, there probably situations where it'd be acceptable for the father to stay home (ie health reasons, etc.). But what would be the point of Sis. Beck spending her whole talk discussing the"What ifs?" It would simply take away from the message she was trying to convey. In addition, I really don't think there are many situations where individuals besides a capable mother and father should be raising their children (except situations of abuse, death, etc.). It is the parents responsibility, not the daycare's. Sis. Beck was trying to get women to get their priorities straight, not oppress them.