LolaBella

I cant believe the bishop denied her a recommend. Shes a child for crying out loud. Way harsh.

I cry at everything! Ghost was and is a killer, I still cry now. Forrest Gump, Philadelphia, Titanic lol oh and lonestar. Im already there.

brick, I have seen this happen. Its outrageous! All I can say is just make sure that you are the kind of person that is so much fun to be around and that makes people feel good about themselves, so that if you get to a dating situation a mission becomes unimportant. Try not to be bitter, but I know thats easier said than done, I really feel your frustration.

I think that families are important-but an unfortunate by product of this importance is people who are single being desperate to get married. I tell you-The harder you look and try, the further away he will be! Everytime in my life that I 'wanted' a boyfriend or 'tried' to get someone I remained single. When I decided I was absolutely happy with myself and my life (which I was), I literally had guys dropping at my feet! Now, Im no supermodel, just girl-next-door type looks so Ive been told. But what guys found attractive in me was my zest for life, my comfort with myself as a person. I always looked presentable, but not like a high maintenance barbie doll-I looked as tho I could have fun, which I could-but I also looked like I bothered somewhat with my appearance. My hubby has often told me-at any one time in our friendship group (we were friends b4 be dated) any of the guys would have killed to go out with you. Now Im not saying this to be arrogant-Im making a point that this ONLY happened when I WASNT looking and was really happy with my life. Guys pick up on those vibes. Mattai is absolutely correct in what she says. I was a terrible flirt too lol I enjoyed it. I always kept in the back of my mind, be the kind of person that someone would like to date, without it overtaking my life. Then I got on with life. It wasn't long till I was married :)

jolee I am so glad u said that! I have always found it difficult to pray out loud, even when I am on my own!!! I tend to just say prayers to myself, in my head, and I dont kneel or anything. I just talk to God as and when I feel i need to. In the grocery store, walking round the park with my girls. I cant remember the last time i knelt down specifically to say a prayer-because every time I do, I literally cant get the word out, they wont come! I have always been like this lol

Rachelle, I COMPLETELY AGREE with you. I have two girls, 2 and 3 and parents who do not discipline their children are so frustrating. I do what has been said already-If they act up they get taken out with no toys, no eye contact from me, no talking nothing-I will tell them what I expect-Quietness or the foyer, and once they are prepared to behave, back inside. Its just basic common sense. Loudmouth-I really have to disagree with you. I hardly think that expecting a parent to keep their kids under control is exersising 'unrighteous judgement'!!! For crying out loud!! All Rachelle, I, and most people with half a brain in their heads want is for parents to take their kids out when they are noisy. It doesn't matter how you were brought up either, its BASIC COMMON SENSE. DH was teaching one time and this kid was screaming away-it was so bad, the guy just sat there. My DH stopped talking, put his manual down, leaned against the table, folded his arms and crossed his legs and smiled at the guy, making direct eye contact. The guy got the message and scuttled out! Rachelle, I'd love to sit with u in sacrament meeting! It seems people like u and I are in the minority!

Well, I actually vissited my home ward on Sunday, which I dont do very often. It was amazing, it had such a diffrent feel, I actually enjoyed church for the first time in ages, I really want to go back next week to my home ward. But I know the church is so strict with boundaries. I suppose I could go there as I dont have a calling at the minute. I know that a lot of your advice is true-its what I put into it and how I perceive things. But Ive realised that feeling comfortable is really important so I am going to look into going to my home ward for the tie being, even if just temporary, if it helps me then its a good thing right?

Im afraid I think u are being too harsh, yes. Reverse it all-Can u imagine if ure brother forwarded u an email on the mormon church and how he disagrees with it and is trying to get it banned because he thinks it is intolerant. You would be devastated that something u hold dear was being trashed on by your own brother. As for not going out with him and his partner-he's extending an olive branch to you and you have basically thrown it back in his face. You need to get over it and accept your brother for who he is. Why wont u go out with him and his partner?? You dont have to support gay rights to support your brother. I can absolutely understand why your brother is upset. My advice to you would be to beg his forgiveness-you are the one in the wrong here, not your brother.

Im sure that my husband visited a prison when he served his mission in England. I cant remember the exact details. I think they literally had a referral from someone who'd probably looked it up on the internet. I can ask him about it if anyones interested.

I understand what you're getting at. When I moved away to college when I was younger, I absolutely relished the time I had, and with hindsight, it was a very important time for me in learning who I was. I think a lot of people jump from home to marriage with no real time in between to get to know themselves. I had friends and boyfriends of course. But when I was single I really loved that time I had on my own to think, to read, or just do whatever I wanted. I've always been the type of person who likes their own company anyway, but I am really grateful for that time that I had as a single woman/girl to get to know myself. It has stood me in good stead for my marriage.

I don't know. I get tired of hearing the same old things. I get fed up of hearing people thinking they are better than others, and judging people. I get fed up of the people. I know it shouldn't be about that but it does afffect how u feel when u are there. Some good answers tho, has goven me a lot to think about.

When I joined this site I said I was inactive, which I was. Since that point I've been bouncing back and forth to church and I'm getting really tired of it. What happens is this: I go to church, feel like I get nothing from it, feel I don't or can't believe in some aspects so I stop going. Weeks go by and I realise I miss church. I go back. I feel nothing and get fed up with it again. And so it goes on. I am just getting to the point where I need to make up my mind what I am going to do because its killing my dh my indecision all the time. Sometimes I go to church and will feel something like maybe the spirit, and think, this is it, but when I leave it goes as if it was never there and I can't seem to recapture it. Then I doubt it was ever there in the first place. I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation. I'm sure some people will say this is Apathy and warn me of the dangers, as given in a recentt GC talk. Even if it is, How can I overcome it? I absolutely dread Sundays as I dont know what they will hold-do I go, do I stay, what to do? I'd appreciate some thoughts thanks x x

I read it at school and loved it. It was one of those books I read that stuck in my mind early and has helped my love of literature. I agree that you hear worse in the real world. I think people should get over it. If you choose to be offended, then you will be. Choose not to be. Its true, that it would not have been the same if they were all like, Oh gosh darn it! lol

Brother Dorsey, I had to smile at the arrogance of your post. You say that 'gays just want to be accepted as normal.' How TERRIBLE!!! I know from the churches point of view they are wrong, and it is of satan etc etc etc. You assume that they must KNOW this therefore are INCREDULOUS at their AUDACITY to want to be accepted!! Gay people do not have the church or the gospel, so why on earth would they NOT want to be accepted as normal? They do not think they are sinning. They do not sit there and think, 'wow Im such a sinner. In fact, I know I am evil for wanting to be accepted by society, but hell I want that anyway' Of course they dont! They want rights, acceptance and equality just like anyone in the world. I don't think we can condemn them for a sin that members believe they are committing, but that they know nothing about!!!

You have to do whatever works best for you. Church members have high expectations of other church members and then good people such as yourself feel stressed and guilty for not meeting those standards. I always say that you should do THE BEST you can in your life. If you are doing THE BEST YOU CAN and still cannot afford to pay tithing then don't worry. If you really want to, make small donations where you can. A bishop once said to me, why not pay a part-tithe? It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Why not pay $5 a month and see how you get on?

I understand your concerns, and skalenfehl's too. I am very torn over this issue. On the one hand I feel that a child deserves a Father and a Mother if possible. But this is not the only environment children thrive in. Parents can die, there are single parent families, it's unrealistic to expect every single child will live with a Mother and a Father, because unfortunately, life does not work that way. On the other hand, I think that some children are better off in a home where they will be loved and nurtured (by a gay couple) than have no home at all. I watched a Montel episode once where they were interviewing gay families. There was a gay couple who had a teenage daughter. She was a polite, respectful, well rounded girl and she said she can't undertstand why people are so against it, she is happy, does not feel she has missed out on anything, she is straight(!!). There was nothing to suggest this girl was disadvantaged in any way. Plus she would have the added bonus of growing up without being hostile or predjudiced towards others lifestyles. She looked to me like she would become a worthy member of society. So I am torn-I would hate to think children could grow up without the benefit of Parents like I had-I can't imagine not having a Mom or a Dad-and when I look at my girls, the thought of them not having me but a another man instead makes my blood run cold. But seeing gay couples who have adopted and how well it seems to work makes me wonder what I am so afraid of.

I'm sure homosexual couples want marriage for the same reasons heterosexuals do-To show their commitment to one another, and to gain the same rights. A gay couple could live together for 20+ years, and when one of them dies, their partner gets nothing. I feel this is wrong, as you should be able to state whom you want your estate to go to. I don't think people's personal opinions pon homosexuality matter that much. As Christians we should be tolerant enough to accept people's choices and lifestyles even if they differ from our own. If a gay couple want to get married and have the same rights as straight couples, why shoudn't they? It's not like they are going to canpaign for straight marriage to be outlawed. They want the same rights as the majority of the population. Why is that difficult for some people to understand?

She is 23. Now Ive actually re-read this it sounds even worse!!!

I was just wondering if I could bounce some things off some of you. This has nothing to do with the church really. My sister has this boyfriend who I loathe. He is no good for her. Anyway, since they've been together she has got obsessed with conspiracy theories. And I mean OBSESSED. Its taking over her life, and its not her, Im so concerned. She no less than 'preached' to us all over the dinner table a few months ago about how the government, U.S in particular, are brainwashing us all, that 9/11 was a planned government tactic to keep us believeing in democracy. She thinks that the Presidents are all fixed and told us that Hilary WOULD be president. (this was before she dropped out lol). She thinks there is going to be a NWO (New World Order) and our money will be changed etc etc. She then told us that there would be news in the future that an asteroid was headed for earth, but that NASA stopped it, just to make the government look good. She also things our water is contaminated with chemicals to keep us all submissive to the government. She even has her own food store!!! she is obviously inactive btw lol. But she has never said anything bad about the church, and from discussions Ive had with her in the past, she readily accepts the basic fundamentals of christianity. She even asks my Dad for blessings periodically. But now she has joined this facebook group that is saying even Jesus and all religion is a myth. I want to talk to her about this, but the last time I did, we ended up having a very heated discussion with her basically saying we are all stupid and brainwashed for NOT believig it!! The irony!! Im just so worried really as I know this is not the sister I know. She's an intelligent girl but Ive never heard her talk about something with such passion. Its like she truly is brainwashed. Im not really sure why I am so worried about this. It just feels very wrong and not right-and its not her atall. Its definitely the boyfriend pushing all this. Should I talk to her again now that its getting worse, or what? leave it? I think Im worried as I can feel her going further and further away from me and I dont want our relationship to suffer as we've always been close. OTOH, I dont want to sound the preachy big sister. Any thoughts??? btw, the facebook group is called ZEITGIST-The documentary of a lifetime if anyone wants to check it out.

I agree that this is potentially a very damaging situation. My 21 yr old brother lives at home with his pregnant girlfriend. He expects to be fed altho he does pay rent. My Parents disagreed on how to deal with him. My Mom coddled him and Dad wanted him to be independant. Unfortunately this issue was the straw that broke the camels back and they eventiually divorced. i would do as one poster suggested and have a heart to heart with your son. Then one with your wife, telling her how much you love her, does she have any issues or anything she wants to discuss? Because I think she too is perhaps scared of the next stage in her life-i.e no kids at home. You can resolve this but you MUST communicate. If your wife refuses then it sounds harsh but you may need to give her some sort of ultimatum-'honey, unless we can work together on this and be united, I'm worried that our marriage may be in trouble'. It could be the kick she needs to change her attitude.

For those of you that don't understand my point of view, fine, you obviously have great wards. That is great but please be open minded enough to realise that not everyone shares your view, and some of us have problems with our wards and beliefs, for whatever reason. That is surely not difficult to understand is it?

checker, I agree with you. I think beards are a bit yuck but its nothing to stop you progressing spiritually is it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You're contradicting ureself a little there Ben. Firstly you say people are human and make mistakes, then you say we should follow our leaders anyway. So even if you know something a leader says isn't from God do you believe you should still do it? Because I personally do not. I have left the church because I was sick every Sunday of people chasing me for numbers, paper, and having lessons based on how oh-so-righteous we are as LDS and how wicked the rest of the world are. I class myself as Christian and felf uncomfortable with this sort of thing. I began to feel going to church was actually DAMAGING my testimony. Of course I dont expect people to be perfect but that to me, is taking away the spirit of what true cristianity is.

ok it is is child abuse, badly phrased. Yesa it has been reported and is being dealt with now.

I think LDS culture has good and bad points, but sometimes church 'culture' can overtake the teachings. This is one of the reasons I am not active at the moment. When you are stopped from having callings/taking part in the church just because you don't conform to church culture, is in my eyes very sad and dangerous. It then becomes a church of men and not of God. This is proved by going to different stakes and different wards where there so many differences sometimes I wonder if its the same church atall!

I know several families witin my stake that are less than ideal. One of them beats their kids, the other locks them up in their rooms with no food for hours at a time. This is bordering on child abuse. Just because you are born into an LDS family does not guarantee you a good life. It seems by putting a restriction on who to donate the eggs to, you are saying that non-LDS people a) can't be trusted to bring up a child well and b) that only LDS deserbe it. People are people and being LDS has no bearing on whether a child will have a good upbringing or not.