Wingnut

Can't remember if I posted that I saw Captain America: Winter Soldier on Monday night. It was really awesome to see how much they really showed off Cleveland. If you haven't been to Cleveland, you probably don't realize it, but they showed so much of it -- inside and outside of buildings, on streets, etc. Last night I watched Now You See Me. It was a fun film. I'm usually fairly good at catching the twist early on, but I have to admit that I fell into the trap of what they wanted me to think, instead of what actually was going to happen. But I really liked the film and the concept.

I got behind in tithing once, about 4-5 months' worth. I was young and irresponsible, and hadn't pulled it out of my paychecks, and just kept forgetting. As I got ready to start submitted my mission papers, I talked with my bishop about it. I had the benefit of this bishop knowing me personally, not just as a bishop -- his wife was my mom's best friend in high school, so he'd known me my whole life. He understood that I wasn't deliberately not paying, and that I was just being neglectful. I asked him if I needed to catch up on back tithing, or just start over. I don't know if he would have said this to everyone he counseled, or not, but he told me that if I felt I needed to take care of the back pay, I could. But repentence was about starting over, and leaving our past behind us. Because of that, he asked me not to miss another payment from that day on. It's been almost 13 years since that interview, and I haven't skipped or delayed another tithing payment since. I think I caught up on 2-3 months' worth of my back tithing, because I felt guilty about it. But I eventually came to a point where I took his words to heart, and instead of stressing over the past (and drawing down my mission savings), I took my bishop's counsel and moved forward.

Tithing is about doing it. It's not about doing it on a schedule or a routine. If it was, then it would be more regulated. But we are given the freedom to pay when and how we want. Paying via automatic withdrawal is still paying, regardless of whether one is in the habit of handing the bishop an envelope or not. Paying four months at once is still paying four months' worth. Paying six month's worth over several weeks or months is the same as paying six months' worth in one lump sum. The intricacies of paying are not so important as the act of actually doing it, whenever and however that gets done.

My mom once taught me never to ask a person, "Hey, are you doing anything tonight?" (wait for "no" response) "Wanna hang out/go to a movie/other activity?" If they say "yes" to the first question, then obviously I won't ask the second, but if they say "no" to the first, I've just trapped/guilted them into the second.

Until this moment, I have not truly missed the "laugh" button yet. This.is.awesome.

If I have a legitimate and specific reason for not attending (previous plans, out of town, spouse has plans/no babysitter, etc.), I will sometimes give it. If it's a last minute girls' night and I just don't feel like going, I'll sometimes offer a simple, "I think I'll just stay home tonight, thanks!" But if I just don't want to go because I don't like the person, don't like their general attitude, don't want the sales pitch, can't afford to, don't want to spend money on something (even if I could afford it), etc., I generally don't give a reason. This is all in the context of a Facebook invitation or an Evite, which is what I typically get these days. For a wedding-type event, I assume the RSVP is a mail-back card. Usually those don't even have an option of including an explanation, and if they did, I probably wouldn't fill it in anyway. The purpose of an RSVP is to give the host/ess the courtesy of knowing how many people to plan for, with regard to food, space, party favors, and any other event-related quantities. It is not to facilitate a popularity contest or cause invitees to kowtow to every demand of the bride. That's what a wedding party is for. (Just kidding.) At this point, I'd go with what Eowyn said, and not even respond. Let it go, let it go!

Sorry I didn't reply to this sooner, Pam. I know we talked on FB this morning, because I went to bed early last night. But I'm in the full version of the board not the IPS version.

Not to mention the effects of depression and other mental health conditions. It's not so simple for all of us to just "choose" to be happy.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that. The full version is much prettier, just not as functional as we're used to. But I like the pretty! :) I'm glad to hear it's still being worked on.

Yeah, I clicked on what looked like a message notification button, and it took me to all the comments left on any and every article posted on LDS.net. Basically, when we log into the forums, we're logging into the Wordpress site, just without privileges. Is there any way for us to be able to login as forum users without having a Wordpress dashboard?

The font is changed! Wahoo! Much simpler and less busy now. Thanks!

I'm not worried about offending others, but rather alienating them. There are two parts to communication: the onus is on the hearer/receiver to understand adequately, and you're correct that if they misinterpret, that's their problem. But to that end, the speaker/sender must do the best they can to send a clearly-intentioned message. To me, using the more ambiguous/generic language leaves room for greater growth, particularly in new relationships or professional ones. And thanks for the validation. :) Each of us knows our own selves and our own relationships better than anyone else does.

Catholicism is much more ubiquitous than Mormonism is. And Catholicism isn't known for proselyting and attempts at conversion. BTW, a Catholic likely wouldn't use the term "sacrament" in this sense, because the word has a different meaning for Catholics. :)

I very much disagree with this. I am Mormon. I am very much Mormon. But I choose not to deliberately pepper my conversations with references to LDS-specific language, particularly in casual or professional conversation. If I'm talking with non-member neighbors or friends with whom I have an established relationship and have talked about church things before, I'm less likely to censor myself because the relationship is already safe, and it's already established as a non-taboo topic. I'm not afraid to be a Mormon, and it's offensive that you would suggest that I am. I choose to use language that is comfortable and relatable to the people I'm speaking with. I try to meet them where they are. Instead of "ward" (mental ward?), I use "congregation." Instead of "young women" or "young men," I use "youth group." It allows conversations to happen naturally without having to detour for explanations in the moment. But it still lets people know that I'm involved with my church, and obviously it's something important to me. It may not open doors immediately, but it lets people know they can knock whenever they want to. In the meantime, I continue to build relationships of trust and understanding. Note: I'm not saying that "everyday missionaries" don't build relationships, or that they are doing it wrong. I'm agreeing with Dravin as to the propriety and context of such language and conversation. For me, constant "foreign" language (and subsequent over-eager explanation) would be a huge turn-off in a casual relationship conversation, or a professional setting.

I think you have to carefully consider your audience. If someone said the above to me, and I wasn't LDS, it would sound awkward at best, and pretentious at least.

I have a friend that makes a special effort to use "Mormon words" in her everyday language. Someone asks her how her weekend was, and she says, "Great! I went to the temple with my family!" She hopes that that will lead to a discussion about the temple. Simple things like that. Personally, I find it alienating. If I said that to many of my non-member friends, it could launch a conversation that they aren't ready for yet. If I chose to mention the temple in my weekend review, I might say something more like, "I had some church activities this weekend that were great...very uplifting." To those who are already strong in other faiths, that feels more relatable.

^All that said, I'm so sick of the song "Happy."

I suffer from depression. In the last two years or so, it's been clinically classified as "major depressive disorder." I actually found that reading that diagnosis came as a relief, because I had initially (12 years ago?) been diagnosed with "mild depression," but I had been struggling a lot more than "mildly." I've been taking an anti-depressant that has helped temper my stress and mood swings, but hasn't done much more than that. In the last two months, I've added a stimulant to help with my ADHD, and in the last month I've noticed a change. I've shared with more than one person on this board already, but I feel like I've come up for air from being underwater for so long. At first I was gasping for breath because I needed it to stay alive. But soon I found myself gulping down breaths just because it felt so good to breath again! I feel happy! I can't pinpoint when the change happened, or what specifically may have been a turning point for me, but I feel happy! It's no longer putting on a good face so people don't know. It's no longer suffering in silence. It's no longer commiserating with other friends who are also struggling (though I still do that, but more empathizing than commiserating). It's no more fooling myself into thinking I'm happy. It's no more one or two good days a week. I FEEL HAPPY!!! I feel it inside, and it's the best thing I have felt in a very, very long time. I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy. It feels so good! I'm happy that I'm able to feel happy again. And I'm so excited to share it with people! I feel like I'm in a good position lately to help others who are still under their own waters, because I've seen the surface, and I know it's there. A small part of me is scared though, worried that this won't last long. I pray that it will.

I didn't get to hear all of them (I think I missed only three or four of all five sessions), and there weren't any this time that really resonated strongly with me. But I did really enjoy Elder Zwick's talk on communication. I loved the realism of it, and I also liked the practicality of it...everyday usage, all relationships we encounter, and both practical and spiritual in nature. It's not often that we hear a talk that is so down-to-earth.

(1) Baked potato bar. Bake several potatoes, and then wrap them in foil as soon as you pull them out of the oven (or microwave, if you're a procrastinator). Pull together some toppings -- homemade or canned chili, cooked broccoli, diced ham, black beans, diced red peppers, sour cream, cheese, chopped green onions, etc. Something for everyone. (2) Spaghetti Pie, bagged salad, garlic bread, a bag of frozen veggies, simple dessert. (3) Mac and Cheese, or Mac and Cheese. (The second one I usually make with sharp Cheddar and smoked Gruyere.) These are sure-fire crowd-pleasers for kids. Throw together a salad or some veggies, and you're good. (4) Baked Mexican Penne. Somewhat fusion-inspired, goes together easily, is hearty, filling, and a good one-dish meal, though some people might like a salad to lighten it up a bit. If kids are sensitive to heat, just use mild salsa. This dinner also converts well to baking in a Dutch oven, for camping. The last time I took dinner to a friend was after her baby. I did the baked potato bar with some cookies (I think), a jar of homemade canned applesauce, a bag of apples (maybe oranges?) for her kids' lunches, and a small bag of my homemade granola for her for breakfast (I happen to know that she loves the granola, so that was just a special treat). I also always use disposable dishes. It costs me a little extra to keep a stock of foil casserole dishes, but it's worth it so that the person I'm taking a meal to doesn't have to worry about returning dishes, and I don't forget to get them, either.

If you look at the "full cast" on IMDB, you'll find out who the "twins" are in that scene. It's setting up for Age of Ultron, which will be released next year. I saw Captain America: Winter Soldier tonight. It was really good. I haven't been this blown away by a superhero/comic book film since Batman Begins. And yes, there's a mid-credit scene and a post-credit scene.

That's a big part of why I didn't keep watching House of Cards. Also the violence. It's not a violent show, because there's no action. But there's one episode in particular, in which Character A kills Character B in B's sleep, and it's very cold-blooded, calculated, and non-chalant. A isn't a killer or a villain specifically, and it's really uncomfortable to watch. He's a public figure, in fact, so the discomfort is likely deliberate, to make the audience squirm. The combination of gratuitous HBO-style sex, and casual violence was really too much for me. I have no problem with swearing, and action/adventure is probably my favorite genre in general, so I don't have a problem with violence or "good" killing of bad guys. Even an intense love scene with implied nudity isn't too bad for me. But this combination was a lot, even for me.

+1 to The West Wing (see username), Doctor Who, Lie to Me, and Burn Notice. I watched about half of the first season of Vikings before I lost interest. It wasn't bad, it just failed to really draw me in. And I didn't get more than 5 minutes into the pilot of Tudors before seeing nudity, so I figured that probably wasn't a very good start.

Yes. I forgot about TBBT!

How could you lose interest in Once Upon a Time, Bini?? It's still pretty much my favorite show out there. Resurrection is new (tonight was the 4th episode), and I've enjoyed it so far...it's intriguing. I would recommend skipping House of Cards, though it depends on your personal preferences and tolerances. I had to stop -- too graphic for me. My current favorites, roughly in order: Once Upon a Time Scandal White Collar Suits Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Covert Affairs Revenge Psych