Tammy

Jason, On second look--thanks Jason for this comment. I am not perfect but I do the best I can with my children. I have suffered a great deal.

Once again we are quick to judge!!! You couldn't possibly know what is in my heart or what causes my stance unless you knew the last 20 years of my life dealing with these children who have a warped since of the world and are too trusting of others. They are led to do things and be involved in things very quickly and they are learning disabled and do not reason the way you or I do. They don't make good decissions and their judgement lacks reason. They are impulsive and have trouble functioning in a productive capacity. We are not talking about the run of the mill child with knowledge and resourses. They do however understand right and wrong--impulsiveness just gets in the way. Over the years I have been threatened, the back window of my van shot out, had to look for a daughter at the shelter because she was prostituting and I have never turned my back on any of them. I continue to love and support in the best way I can under the circumstances. If you have never wondered if your 21 year old daughter were dead or alive or if your son was taking money from your bank accout at every opportunity with the teller card you gave him to by gas--then you haven't judged me with compassion. I am not a perfect parent and I don't have a perfect family. We are all trying to piece our lives together one day at a time.

You misunderstand --it is not just that they live together, and age difference, this man has been abbusive to my daughter and has psycological dissorders. I am not turning my back on my daughter. We talk and I love her. Would you support this and have it in your house??? I will not put my other family members at risk for attack from him as he has already proven that this is his mo. If she is happy with the present situation then it is out of my hands and all I can do is love her.

Jason, You have no right to say those things to me--as I said walk a mile in my shoes! I will no longer tolerate your comments.

_______________________ Tammy, you needn't be attacked in this forum. There is an ignore function here that you can use, if you feel that certain ppl are in attack mode. Just click on the persons name, and add them to your ignore list. Then sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet. ← Thanks Ari- I had just responed to your post about ignore but I felt I could ignore without officially doing it. Just ignore the response. I guess I hadn't been attacked as you had. I have a better understanding of what you meant now.

I felt that I was personally attacked by Jason... I have been through a great deal of pain with my adopted children as well as my daughter. They have free agency though and I accept that---I do love them but I wouldn't condone inappropriate behavior from anyone outside of the family so I will not condone it in my own family. The kids know what is right and wrong and they know how I feel about it. We just don't discuss those things they are doing unless they bring them up. I just don't invite the negative spirit in my home.

In other words ---I choose to love the person and not the sin.....

Jason, It is not my love for the church but my love of the Lord and I still love my children. I just choose to set an example for them. I will not however invite my daughter's live in boyfriend who is 20 years older that her to my house for Thanksgiving. She is welcome to come. My son is coming home and he and I have issues with trust. My oldest daughter will be here and she is married to a non member and I treat him like part of the family. My middle daughter is a member who was disfellowshipped and has since been reinstated. I do alot for her and her husband is a non member also. Where do you get off judging me!! Four of my childern are adopted special needs children and have issues that I have dealt with for years. Unless you walk in my shoes I suggest you reserve judgement....

There are no perfect families. I raised my children in the church and all but one are no longer going to church. I struggle every day with how to nurture them and I have found that I just stand fast in what I believe and they will either come around or learn to deal with that. In other words they wanted me to accept their sins (situations) and I refuse to do that but I tell them that I still love them. It is a hard stance to take but I am true to the Gospel and if my children return to the Lord it will be a happy day for me. If not it is by their choice and I still love them even though I will not openly support what they are doing. I think that if I openly support them I am giving them a very mixed signal. I do however love them anyway. I pray for them and I worry about them daily. That is all that I have in my power to do.

I guess we could ignore everyone who doesn't agree with us, but that would make it a dull conversation. I choose to ignore only when I am offended by not responding. I have found that as I get older sometimes I am quick to get offended and it is not necessarily the persons intent. I think you have to give people room for error. (error in judgement)

Very good advice. I really hadn't given it much thought. I will definately be more careful.

I didn't know that she had left. I hope not! We all love to post on the board and visit. I have made several new friends here. I hope the atmoshpere here does continue its upward climb. We come here for understanding and support and that is what we should receive. Thanks to all those who have been a support to me since I started coming here. You have helped beyond what I could have asked for.

Well I have to say that I love Walmart! We have a new store in our town. My daughter worked there for a while and loved it. The wages were relative to other entry level positions. Not too many places are hiring anything but part time employees so they don't have to provide good wages or benefits. I am in a union job and have been for years and i guess I don't see any real advantage. You have to work full time to get the benefits anyway. I have the philosophy that I shop where I can find what I want at a reasonable price. I like varitey of choices, but I also reject sales calls on the basis that if I want to buy something, I will go find it and do the research necessary to find exactly what brand and price I want to purchase. In other words don't call me -I will go the the source myself. Walmart is my grand daughters favorite store. They are only 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 but they automatically say let's go to Walmart. I have found LDS movies there and a member of our ward is a store manager for our Walmart. They are interested in participating in causes like Huricane Katrina and Children's Miracle Network, so I am supportive of that.

Please, those were great! The giraffe is great too! I love it! What a way to start my morning at work....

I would love to participate! Could we also have maybe a different one and pick a book by a church author? I think the chat is a great idea. We often run out of things to discuss there. Or maybe we could use MSN IM.

wow! Have I been in the dark? What is all this?? I thought this was a discussion board to express ourselves and just because you don't like the way someone does it --it is not a good enough reason to jab at them. We are all free to express ourselves and though some may take that to mean more in depth discussion than others--WHO are YOU or I to judge? It is your choice to respond or not to what has been posted. More tolerance and Christ like love is what is needed here. If we want the weight of the world, we can go out side our homes for that, but here you are invited into our homes so we need to be appropriate in how we deal with one another.

So sorry to hear this. Your family will definately be in my prayers.

That was great! LOL

Glad to hear that you are both doing well! Congratulations!!!!

This was a great story! It really made me laugh and I smiled all day! :)

I can't think of anyone, but I am not a history buff. Did you see the article in Newsweek about the church?

Hey -nice to meet you!

Oh Marsha! I will pray for him. I have 2 children that I adopted with hydrochepulas. They can't get any help either and they are not on our insurance any more since they don't live at home. Their situation is not life or death unless the shunt malfunctions, but they have been in the hospital and run up huge bills. I am so sorry to hear of Doug's illness. I don't know what else to say. I will be thinking of your family Tammy

There are quite a few books that I have enjoyed recently both church and non-church related. I tend to read light mysteries and soul provoking books. Things mostly to inspire me or make me think about life. "In the Potter's Hands" by Camille Fonk " The Peacegiver" by James L. Ferrell I also like books by M.C. Beaton- Agatha Raisin Mysteries, Janet Evanovich, and Ann George. Our ward has a book club and picks a certain book for everyone to read and discuss. Would anyone be interested in that? Side note: I am an assistant Librarian in the public library in a small town, so books are my thing!!! Tammy

I will definately include your father and yourself in my prayers and thoughts. Tammy