InnerGold
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Yes, in a recent study done by neurologists in Texas, the viewing of pornography is shrinking the pre-frontal cortex (logical thinking portion of the brain). Therefore, increase in viewing and level of what is ok increases. View my profile and you can watch the presentation we give to help people understand pornography addiction.Is this a physical change?
What specific part/ level of pornography would cause this effect?
I. E. Sports illustrated swimsuit edition would be considered pornographic by some extremely conservative people, but shows no more then what one sees at the beach.
Second part of your question:
If it arises sexual feelings, it is pornographic. Many of InnerGold clients start off with soft porn as a young child, Sports Illustrated, Maxim, Victoria Secret, Cosmopolitan, and many others. They try to justify that it is ok because they are not nude. The fact-of-the-matter is, viewing this causes our limbic system to recognize that this helps to release chemicals that will calm the body, therefore, it stores this as an item to use for relaxation. This is when viewing things gradually get more and more justified and the next thing a person knows is that they are hooked into the pornographers marketing trap!
There have been several InnerGold clients that encourage their spouse to sign up for Victoria Secret or Weightlifting magazines just so they can try to fulfill that need of looking. Most spouses don't see this as a problem because it is just a magazine of intimate apparel or it is just a magazine helping me get into shape, BE VERY CAREFUL!
I would take the same adage that is in the song for children, "If the Savior stood beside me would I do the things I do?"
Justification is a dangerous game to play.
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Yes, matter-of-fact we have had several people use this program to help with this.
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Thank you faded for bringing this back to the basics. We must not forget about the children divorce, infidelity, etc. affects our children more than we realize. I am amazed at what children really do understand and pick up. Make sure to protect your children.
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Yes, there is a lot of problem with pornography on cell phones. Ivy, I have heard of this one but even worse is one that a young girl took a picture of herself and sent it to her boyfriend. They broke up and when they did the boy sent her photo around to a lot of people. She ended up committing suicide because she could not handle the humiliation.
People need to realize, once you put something online, send to a friend, there is no control of it. You have lost all control of that image, what was said, etc.
We had a family home evening the other day addressing this with our children and my wife gave a wonderful analogy. We all went outside. She filled our hands with salt that was about the size of quarter. She then instructed us to throw it. It does not have to be far, just throw it. After everyone threw their salt, she said ok, I want you to go and pick up every grain of salt. One daughter thought she would be creative and dropped hers just in a pile at her feet only to realize, you still can't pick up every grain. Our digital age is the same way, once you send information, there is no getting it back.
I would strongly recommend sharing this analogy with your children. It is very good.
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The average age is actually around 9 and 10 years of age of first exposure; however, this average is going down more and more because more children are looking at porn at the age of 6, 7 and 8 years of age. I am sure this statistic is skewed because in kindergarten my daughter came home asking questions about intimacy at a very young age of 5.
What is interesting is the fact that while the internet has put pornography in public view more powerfully than ever, it is also harming the profitability of that industry.
Unfortunately, this is incorrect! The pornography industry as a whole is the largest and most profitable industry. Pornographers have put their marketing dollars into exposing children at a very young age. It started with teen magazine. Teen Magazine was given a huge sum of money to start using certain titles on their covers and certain photos, this spread to more magazines.
About 1996 there was a huge convention back east and it was all around the porn industry. They were losing money because they were losing subscribers to their magazines. The major focus of this convention was to start exposing children at a young age so that they could make more profit and help their business boom, unfortunately, the pornographers were correct.
Now flash forward and look at the magazines on the shelves at eye level and then look at the magazines that are at the level of a child 5 on up? They can't read but the don't need to the photos they start seeing are appalling. This is why a coalition to stop porn started asking stores to cover their magazines. The store owners said, "If more people complain, we will but we are paid money to have certain magazines at certain heights." This was shocking to realize there is monetary benefit to stores helping to get our children addicted at a young age.
This post kind of jumped around but you can see the serious marketing that is targeted towards our children.
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Physical sensations can be over powering, that is why we have addiction. The addiction is stimulating something physical; however, pornography stimulates the individual physically and emotionally. The emotional connection is where it is causing women to being addicted.
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I do post about other things but pornography and sexual addiction is affecting everyone, some realize it others do not.
We recently had a comment from a young lady that was appalled that her daughter, 16 years of age. Has been viewing porn sent by her friends to cell phones. I know you might have heard about this but I am afraid to many parents are sticking their head in the sand and thinking, "my child wont do that." The correct statement should be, " I hope my child does not do this."
Talk with your children! Make sure they no the dangers of pornography. Make sure you realize the dangers of pornography. It is affecting more and more people daily. Once IT, the addict voice has taken hold, a lot of people give up hope. There have been several that think they are lost, forgotten and there is no way that Heavenly Father could love them. This is the farthest thing from the truth.
Understand, Heavenly Father loves all of his children. ALL! Don't give up hope. Continue to pray and you will be guided to the tools and education that will help you. This is how I feel about the InnerGold system.
I have been asked what is my role with InnerGold. I am someone that has seen pornography affect my own family and now it is my goal and mission to help as many people as possible.
My " JOB " is branding and marketing. Helping companies succeed. When a friend of mine was telling me about InnerGold, I could not believe it. I have been praying for something that could help people and he told me. This has been the only program that has helped him. This individual like many others have gone through the 12 steps and was starting to feel like they were a lost cause. That is when he was introduced to InnerGold.
I feel it part of my role in helping others to let people know about the InnerGold program.
Pornography is affecting everyone, world-wide, old, young, male, female, teenagers and children
I was blown away when I heard about this 16 year old. She was a straight A student going active in church, active in mutual, active in extra curricular activities. It is affecting everyone. It is your right and your place to ask questions. When you get the answers, follow-up with love. Read the article we published about helping ecclesiastical leaders treating pornography and sexual addiction. This will help parents, friends, family and loved ones provide help and counsel the right way.
We don't want to yell, scream throw a fit. Keep your cool and address it properly.
InnerGold.
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Fiannan & Michael: Sorry it has taken awhile to get this to you but here you go:
The InnerGold System
The InnerGold system is specifically designed to educate and explain why pornography/sexual addiction issues have become the contemporary mental health issue of our time and why denial is so rampant. It provides education that in most cases proves to be an awakening to a whole new world of thinking. It introduces a language of recovery and change to those who struggle with unwanted sexual cravings and behaviors.
The system is a unique blend of many different philosophies such as addiction models, quantum physics, neuroplasticity and the human brain, clinical psychology, Jungian psychology, mindfulness/awareness training, business models and many years of hands on experience with addicts.
The system is based on the latest information as to how the brain works. It introduces one to the unconscious world of the Limbic System and its language. It provides hope through education and introduces daily tools that if followed will help in the process of re-wiring this primitive, habitual part of our brain into patterns that one can purposefully choose.
During this past decade we have learned more about the human brain and how it works than all the previous years of human history combined. We now know of two distinct parts of the human brain and how they work. These two parts are the pre-frontal cortex and the limbic system. Psychologists and scientists now agree that the limbic system or instinctive nonconscious part of the brain drives the majority of our behavior. It simply responds to the program it been given and functions at a deep unconscious level. It doesn’t judge things as right or wrong it simply acts out the program it has been given.
Because sexuality is a core instinctive drive inherent in human’s pornography becomes the perfect poison. Is there really any wonder why pornography has become a multi-billion dollar industry? It is the perfect poison for the limbic system! It may seem natural and harmless at first but as we learn more of how the limbic system works we start to see a very frightening picture. We now know that when the limbic system is given this “program” one begins to lose control of their behavior very quickly. This out of control behavior is destroying relationships and lives. Viewing pornography directly effects and disturbs the pre-frontal cortex or moral part of our brains. Those who push pornography would disagree of course but it is my belief that they have chosen not to listen to what their pre-frontal cortex or moral brain is saying to them. One can get to the point where they cannot hear it any longer if it is ignored long enough.
The Innegold system takes one through a series of exercises that helps one to create a new program that can be introduced to this unconscious part of ourselves. Engaging the pre-frontal cortex is at the foundation of changing the program that the limbic system has been getting.
Retraining this subconscious/nonconscious part of your brain is a two-step process. First, using your conscious faculties, you choose the thoughts you want to focus on (Future Picture Statement). Then, you patiently and persistently impress these thoughts on the subconscious/nonconscious part of your brain through daily practice of visualization, meditation and the daily planning sheet until these thoughts become beliefs. Behaviors can only change when the program changes and a new set of instructions is turned into a habit of thought. The Innergold System provides one with the tools necessary to accomplish this and to help one live the life that they want to create for themselves rather than living the life that has been created for them by external forces.
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This data was collected off of paid subscriptions to online pornography. Yes, this is possibly true because the ability to hide something like this is easier. For example, someone is looking at porn in their email, their spouse comes in, a few expressions of frustrations and disgust and the spouse simply dismisses it as someone sent spam and it was clicked on, not know what it was. The spouse walks out and does not think about it again, unless the spouse is caught again. The same repetition goes on. This happens a lot, that is why it is important to ask your spouse: When was the last time you saw porn?
In Utah, we have strong values and it is promoted and talked about everywhere so it is even more hidden because of the shame associated. Outside of Utah, pornography is being accepted more and more and they do not view it as a problem. You can read this same sentiment in several of the posts through out this forum. Parents, family, spouse or friends brush it off as natural and ok, it is what guys do. This is not true this is what the world would have you believe the fact-of-the-matter is if you look at everything regarding porn, it is destructive.
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Jasmin, if you don't get one within 2 to 3 weeks, let me know. I will get one for you and mail it to you and you will have it within a week.
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You fight against it but in a different way than what you would think. I don't want you to think that you embrace the act or the sin. I am not suggesting that at all. What I am suggesting is that you recognize it and then you start logically thinking before acting. Instead of an addict saying, " I am never going to do that again." You have to change your thinking to recognize "IT" the addictive voice and logically put it into its place. You give the addictive voice "IT" and you keep "I" references to the person that does not want to act out. Sounds confusing but it really is not.
I posted about this on a previous thread. I will be posting a lot more about it on our group, "Pornography and sexual addiction".
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Just to let everyone know, we have a group on pornography and sexual addiction within this site that we will be discussing pornography addiction more in depth instead of scattered throughout all the different forums.
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This is the original manual. It is non-denominational. This was the first manual we created because we wanted to help everyone, not just one religion. Eventually, we will have a manual that is focused on individual faiths but that is quite a ways out.
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This is the reason why most ecclesiastical leaders struggle with counseling someone with addiction. They only know to tell them read scriptures, pray, study, stop, just don't do it, never do it again, promise me you will stop, etc...
It is not their fault. They have never had official training in handling addiction. This is why education is so important.
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Get rid of pornography! Seriously, one thing we have noticed is pornography is at the root to a lot of marital problems. I am not saying all but a good majority. Don't bring the filth into our homes. I am not talking about magazines or even looking on the web. I am talking about TV shows. Family Guy, Nip & Tuck, etc.. you get my point. These shows are loaded with soft porn which is a trigger for most men. If you could agree as a couple to get rid of stuff like this, you could have one of the happiest marriages ever! Instead of watching TV and filling your brain with junk. You would be playing games. Going on walks. Outdoor activities etc.
Another thing we have noticed is gaining an education about addiction and learn how you can talk with someone without condoning the behavior. You can read about this a little with an article we wrote for ecclesiastical leaders.
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Pookie, your husband is showing signs of being addicted to pornography. You can read more about it.
Here is the truth. You are correct, he is fighting it. It is a constant battle right now. He feels like two people. One who wants to stop and one that wants to watch it. Pornography is very dangerous. We have seen it destroy many families but the good thing is, your husband is wanting to overcome it. He just does not know how. Most people don't.
He needs to learn to control his triggers (anything that causes the desire to watch). Once he starts to recognize these, he needs to recognize the addictive voice.
This is the voice that is telling him to go look at pornography. Learning this is not impossible. However, after he has learned this, he will need to retrain his brain to respond to the triggers. Please watch the video "Pornography the Perfect Poison" it will help give you an understanding of what your husband is going through.
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Part of parenting is setting boundaries. I would be extremely concerned as to their history on the web. Most young men become addicted to pornography at 6 to 8 years of age. I applaud your desire to stay involved as a parent.
I know my brother has lost some of his strength in the Gospel and has allowed his kids to do things, that before, they would get a whoopin for watching.
Press forward, in being involved and maintaining the strength in their lives.
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I am glad you did. I hope I did not offend you. I just wanted to make the point that it does affect everyone differently. Never be afraid to share your conversion story.
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You can go to this site and request one. Click on Free Media at the bottom.
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Welcome, you have many friends here willing to help in any way possible. Never be afraid to say, "I don't know. I will get back to you." Too many times we (members of the church) feel like we need to have all of the answers right now. You don't!
It sounds like you are getting quite the missionary opportunity, How Wonderful! Take advantage of sharing your testimony. The knowledge of man/women cannot convince anyone, if so, do you think the church would send 19 year old boys? I don't think so! Sharing your testimony is what can convince people to look further because the Spirit will always testify of the truth.
If you know the answers fine but don't be afraid to say, "I will look this up and get back to you." We (companion and I) did this several times on my mission. It is powerful and allows you time to pray and give the answer Heavenly Father wants you to give. This is POWERFUL!
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Pastor Bob is correct: u understanding it and not fighting it.
When a person has an addiction, they are constantly saying, "No! Stop! I will never do this again! etc." only to find that they repeat the same behavior. They get frustrated and determined to stop and the process is repeated over and over. The way to approach addiction is to put it in its place. Here are the simplified steps for this (simplified):
Step 1: Learn to recognize the addictive voice
This voice has been active for a long time without you being aware of it.
Step 2: Acknowledge the addictive voice
Yes, separate the addict call the addictive voice, "IT" IT wants me to act out, I (referring to the healthy you) have no desire to act out. Acting out will only hurt me or my loved ones.
Your Frontal Lobe (part of the brain) has tremendous capacity and can learn to deal with addiction.
Part of this entire process is acknowledging that Heavenly Father is fully aware of your situation with life and addiction. He loves you and cares for you. Be sure to recognize the Savior and his ATONEMENT was done for you, because he loves you. We tend to take this to lightly.
When dealing with addiction, you have the power to overcome "IT" (the addictive voice). This does not mean you will not be tempted but it does mean you will be able to put the addiction in its place. Learn to control your brain and great power comes to you.
We recognize that there are some on this forum that are not Latter-day Saints. We are working on another volume of the InnerGold Manual that is non-denominational.
The current manual is not based on any specific faith. Only the link above is based on the LDS faith.
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Crazy day! I will get this information for you.
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At the same time, you have to take into consideration that everyone feels the spirit differently. I wish I had the overwhelming, wham-o, knock me to the ground, no denying it but it was not the case. I still go back to studying about how prayers are answered and then allow Heavenly Father to answer in his own way.
If a person is waiting for the wham-o, they could wait the rest of their lives. Part of the conversion is faith.
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Cadley, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is amazing to think that your pain is miniscule to what our Saviour went through. I know if you continue going to the temple, you will receive the guidance you need. If I may issue you a challenge, commit to going to the temple once a week. Do sealings, initiatory and sessions, rotate through them. Each portion has a power and blessings all their own.
Your comments are almost the exact same from another spouse we had in a group session. She did not know how she could ever trust her husband again. Called him every name in the book except for his real name. Wanted to see him go through pain as she has. She wanted to castrate him, etc. One of the ladies in the group said, " I know your feeling because I wanted to do the same." She did some education from the InnerGold program and gained a greater understanding of what she could do for herself. She learned what she could control and how to control and actually how to love. I am not saying everything was rosy after that but she only wanted to hurt him a little instead of the previous description. Their marriage has improved. They have been going to counseling because they have to unlearn all of their bad habits.
I have to head to a meeting. I will write more concerning this later. Please read a letter from one of our spouses.
Pornography & Sexual Addiction Conference
in Current Events
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Excellent comment. I will explain more about this later. It is crazy right now but I will answer this. I realize that I need to give some better clarification.