InnerGold

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Everything posted by InnerGold

  1. Latter-day Saints believe in eternal marriage, which equates to eternal happiness. Unfortunately, this is not always the case because a healthy, happy, good marriage takes work, work and work. Why do I mention this? The only way to receive this eternal marriage is in the temple and the only way to go into the temple is by being a member. Naturally, they have many concerns, faith, online, etc. The parents are going to want their daughter to be in a relationship where she can have this eternal blessing. sorry, i'm rambling. i have been working for a long time. don't give up, wish you the best.
  2. Understand the conversion is a personal thing. It only happens, if you receive the confirmation that the Gospel is true. That is what's so great about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You can find out for your self. You can call the local missionaries in your area, if you would like to learn more. If you can't find them, let me know your area and I can get a phone number for you. Also, if you look at it from a parents perspective, you are a strange guy and they know nothing about you. It probably would have been better to go directly to her house, meet her parents and then have her take you to the hotel. As far as they know, you may be a psycho. If it was me, I would reach out, introduce yourself. As a father, I would want to make sure my daughter is going to be in good hands and safe, not unknown hands, with the unknown. Go on a double date with her parents. I know it sounds weird but think of the impression you could make and it is difficult for someone to hide what their real personality is like, on an ongoing basis.
  3. I just found out it is a region conference. Sorry for the mistake.
  4. Yes, this Saturday there is a Women's Conference. I don't know anything about it, except I am supposed to watch the children.
  5. I saw this video and had to share it, especially with the Women's Conference coming up.
  6. We have noticed that there are two forms of remorse: Shame - one truly feels sorry for their action and glad to have it finally brought to light so that they can deal with their issue so another wards shame brings the desire to change (desire being the keyword) They actually want to change. Guilt - no desire to change except that they were caught so they tell everyone, " I am sorry and am going to change." The question is where is their heart? The future will tell!
  7. Pornography and sexual addiction issues are endemic in our current world. In other words, these issues are already here and have penetrated every culture in the world since the introduction of the Internet. Research indicates that nearly 100 percent of males in the United States have viewed pornography by their senior year in high school.1 It very well may be, at least from a spiritual point of view, the “desolating scourge” (D&C 5:9, 45:31) that has been prophesied will cover the land in the last days. Pornography is the adversary’s trump card, or the “perfect poison,” for the human brain. It is negatively affecting millions worldwide. Statistics now support that the vast majority of those indulging in it are not willing to talk about it or seek help. Neuroscience tells us pornography addiction is a “brain disease” and must be treated as such! Society should not view pornography as a harmless form of entertainment or a moral weakness but as a “biological chemical disease.” Viewing pornography affects the human brain in significant ways. It sets off a chemical cocktail or a “rush” in the brain, just like hard drugs when taken into the body. The only difference is that the drug of pornography is injected directly into the brain through the eyes. When someone views pornography, a powerful cascade of microscopic pleasurable chemicals called neurotransmitters, such as Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Oxytocin, Vasopressin and Serotonin, are instantaneously released in the brain. This chemical reaction is set off in the primitive unconscious part of the human brain known as the limbic system; then it instantly spreads throughout the brain and body by an intricate and vast super highway of neuro networks. These tiny microscopic neurotransmitters have a huge affect on how brain cells function and grow. They can drive or compel one to seek certain behaviors by creating powerful physical cravings. Through repetition, these behaviors can become very powerful addictions that can then inhibit a person’s ability to think and make rational choices. The physical brain can actually hijack a person’s mind or will.
  8. This is the biggest problem in the professional community. You have some saying, "it is natural and healthy" and others saying, " it is destructive and dangerous." We were listening to a professional organization that travels around the country speaking to people about sexual addiction and this person was saying it is ok to explore with sexuality. I simply could not believe it. No wonder this problem is destroying the lives of so many, they are listening to junk like this! Gordon, founder of Inner Gold is working on a book called, The Language of Recovery and we are in the process of formating it. It is amazing! It helps explain this issue we are dealing with and he is straight up front about it being from an LDS perspective but to keep an open mind. It should be released in December. We are trying to get it out so it will be available and help loved ones understand and also help the general public recognize the problems associated with pornography.
  9. The drug of pornography is just too powerful for young adolescents to handle on their own. The fact of the matter is that it is too powerful for any of us to handle on our own. This support must be offered with understanding, love, compassion and patience. If a young person is criticized, condemned or shamed after exposure, it sets up the perfect environment for potential addiction issues because of the way the limbic part of the brain works. Shame will aid an addiction in becoming more entrenched and makes it more challenging to treat. Any acting out behaviors must be treated with the perfect balance of justice and mercy. This is a great challenge for loved ones, ecclesiastical leaders and therapists alike. If the response to a confession is too harsh or judgmental, an adolescent is even less likely to get the help they need. If the response to a confession is too lenient, one may not feel the urgency to change or recognize the seriousness of the problem. Pornography addiction is a very serious problem and needs to be treated as such, but it must be handled with great care and compassion if one is to find the help they need. In the simplest terms, we have two parts of our brain or “two brains” that work in concert with each other. The higher functioning brain, known as the neocortex or the pre-frontal cortex, the rational, moral and logical part of the brain, sits on the top of the more primitive brain known as the limbic system. The limbic system, or primitive brain, is selfish, primitive, childish, and pleasure-oriented, with no ability to delay gratification. It is very important to understand that there are no morals and values associated with the limbic system or “natural man.” Values do not exist there. This is why the Lord says, “The natural man is an enemy to God” (Mosiah 3:19). This is the instinctive survival part of the brain.
  10. Until the general public becomes more informed about the reality of how pornography affects the human brain it will continue to be looked at as a moral weakness or a form of mere entertainment rather than a true chemical addiction. InnerGold Counseling services has worked in the addictions field for over 20 years we want to make it clear that pornography addiction is a CHEMICAL ADDICTION. Pornography and sexual addiction issues are the most difficult addictions to treat because it hits at the very core of our humanity. Interest in sexuality is a primary driving force in human beings. It is pleasurable by design and necessary in order for the human race to continue to exist. If there were ever to be the perfect drug created pornography would be it. Pornography is the “perfect brain poison.” You can learn more by going to our group, Understand Sexual Addiction. We really hope this information will help people to start their recovery process.
  11. Jamie, that is exactly how you approach any addiction - 1 day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow because tomorrow never comes it is only today! Focus on remaining sober from any addiction for just today and take it daily. This will gradually increase the strength of your pre-frontal cortex which will help put the limbic system back in its place. Then as the addiction comes remember to replace the addiction with " IT ". For example, IT wants me to act out but I (referring to yourself) do not want to so I am going to ...
  12. Yes, it can be powerful but we have found that many people struggling with this issue need some additional help. The 12-step program works for a lot of people but there are a lot of people that need something else in addition to the 12-step program. InnerGold uses the Atonement as the main focus of the program for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are seeing many people who are struggling with this issue that the 12 step program is not working for them. We just had a webinar that every person on the call said they wished they had this program along with the 12 step program. We just want to let people know about it because it is helping them. A lot of it is free.
  13. What a great conference. Obviously pornography and sexual addiction remain a huge problem. It is imperative to help people understand what is going on mentally with pornography addiction. If you want to help a pornography addict or need help yourself, understanding the addiction is crucial. An addicts brain has learned to use pornography as a survival mechanism. Learn more at Understand the Affects of Pornography on the Brain It is crucial to get this information out to everyone.
  14. I do not have time to go into all of the particulars. Watch the presentation that was done and is helping millions overcome pornography addiction because of this understanding.
  15. Your brain contains a survival mechanism (or part of the brain) called the limbic system. Essentially there are two-parts of the brain for simplicity sake. Pre-frontal cortex, the logical thinking portion part of the brain and your Limbic system the survival portion of the brain. The limbic system does not think it reacts and it reacts based on previous events in life that brought elation, or other chemicals into the body. IT the limbic system remembers these events and records it for later to help a person relax, calm down, etc. If it did not do this, we would all die quickly because we would send ourselves to the grave with depression, stress, etc. Those feelings that are generated from viewing of pornography are stored in the limbic system. Hence, it uses it as a survival mechanism because it remembers it relaxed you before. You can learn more by watching this presentation Pornography the Perfect Poison, if your interested.
  16. Answer to your question is, Yes! Pornography is the drug of our era. Pornography strikes at the core of who we are, sexual beings. Think about it, one of the first commandments given (besides don't eat the fruit) was multiply and replenish the earth. We were created and commanded to populate the earth from the beginning. Sexuality is absolutely wonderful, when kept within the Lord's boundaries. The problem is that man has taken something so wonderful, so devine and corrupted it. Over sexualization Our society has included sex in everything, advertising, movies, news, etc. It is everywhere and our brains don't know what to do with this over stimulation. Pornography provides a sense of relaxation when viewing it and our brains record this as a survival mechanism when a person is: Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed or Tired, which in this day and age is almost all the time. If you learn how to handle the stimuli, you can control the action. Watch this presentation at InnerGold.com/pptVideo.cfm it will help explain a lot more about what I am talking about above.
  17. Carl, unfortunately, I can relate to you. I had a wonderful mission, minus mission pres.. I was blessed with tremendous success and granted many blessings but despite all of this my mission president did not trust me because of something I went to him about. Short version: A girl liked me. I was starting to get feelings for her. I told Pres. about it and that I thought I should be transferred on the next transfer. Sure enough, I was transferred. Just what I wanted. I thought all was said and done until Stake Conference. She was in the same stake so she came to stake conference and I talked with the family. What am I going to do, ignore them? (not a good missionary tool) We had a great conference. Move forward 2 weeks, zone conference, I got reamed by the Pres. for scheduling a meeting with her. She just came to stake conference. GRRR! It never was let down from that point on. Every interview, even until the last one was a grilling. Talk about feeling well done. My exit interview was 2 hours long and nothing but a grilling. I don't know why I lost his trust but I was frustrated. Fortunately for me, I have been blessed with the ability to have a ducks back (water rolls off of it). The Church is true the people are not! I am glad to see you coming back. The Gospel is true and you deserve the blessings that come from it.
  18. Glad to hear! Best wishes for continued progress towards healing. It sounds like you have made some huge leaps and bounds.
  19. Love Her! Love Her! Love Her! Your in our prayers.
  20. I would encourage you to start out by going to the temple. Go sit on the grounds, feel the spirit, read the scriptures, etc. You can feel a great strength by going to the house of the Lord even if you are only on the outside right now. Also, I would call the bishop of the ward, or have your husband call and ask them to come by your house and say, "hi" On Sunday just go. You can do it! This was the thing that helped my brother. He finally just went despite his anxiety.
  21. Dawnforge, I would recommend talking to the missionaries there in your home town. They can answer your questions. If your girl friend has not been to church in awhile, she may feel inadequate to answer your questions. A lot of missionaries who fall into this situation, don't feel like they can answer questions because they have been away. I would encourage you to talk with the missionaries yourself. Learn about it and then you will be able to fully understand any apprehension to marriage, etc. Understanding the Gospel will give you a better understanding of her. I applaud you for encouraging her. I can already see you are someone who cares more about others than them self. Welcome to the site.
  22. It all goes back to educating your children to have a plan. The plan needs to include what they will do when they see pornography on a computer, from a friend, on a phone etc. If they have a plan, just like the limbic system can fuel an addiction, if properly trained it will also help our children survive in these situations. It is important realize our limbic system is the part of our brain that teaches survival. We just need to properly teach it the right survival techniques and that is not looking at it more and indulging it.
  23. We will be covering both topics, (i.e. being the addicted and being affected by an addicted) if we have time. However, afterwards Gordon will be sticking around to ask questions and bishops could ask him specific questions. Gordon has been talking with several bishops around Utah County and some in Salt Lake County. We want to make sure people are educated correctly. Come to the symposium to find out for yourselves the value of understanding this addiction.
  24. Originally Posted by Elphaba I knew all of this, and I suspect you are right that most bishops understand this and are responding appropriately. But not all bishops. I know of at least four relatively recent incidents, one of them on this board. Now I know a fifth. This is the reason education is the key. We invite everyone to attend a FREE symposium in June. Learn more about how to educate children but also how to counsel and help someone struggling with sexual addiction issues. Ecclesiastical Help For Counseling Porn/Sex Addiction Issues It's free. The founder of the program will stay around to answer questions after the How to Handling Sexual Addiction Symposium.