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Everything posted by InnerGold

  1. Anatess, I agree with you to appoint and that point is have your children experience life in your home so you can control it and help explain it. I grew up in a home that my mother said, "If you want to try alcohol, let me know. I will purchase it and you can try it right here in our house so I can know you are safe." A very wise mother. There were some of us that tried it and others that had nothing to do with it. I would be leery of allowing children to become over sexualized, watching things that promote the wrong sexuality because that can cause a child, who is still does not have complete reasoning, to get confused early in life.
  2. Possible, but in my experience, 9 out of 10 have had something happen to them when they were a young child. They may have been abused, or had a conflict with a boy friend which creates a lack of trust for men or they have been involved with pornography or chat rooms. Therefore, they find validation and love from those who have not hurt them. This is not hogwash. If this was, it would not be working with positive results. Much like the gospel, if it was not true it would not be growing and helping people. She is at an age where there are many counselors she could go to. Be it, some good some not so good. She needs to gain an understanding of what is going on in her brain. This is exactly what we are fighting on a regular basis with the world. Because of things being over sexualized, people are thinking it is a persons choice. Yes, it is their choice because our free agency is still intact but the worldly thinking is wrong! Everyone needs their layers peeled away. It does not always have to be sexual. It could be because of a distrusting experience of the opposite sex, as mentioned above. Just think about things that make you upset, why do they upset you? It is your choice to allow them to upset you, so why are you choosing to be upset? If a person starts peeling the layers they are frequently surprised at what experience it was that is causing them to feel this way.Back to the original question. Suggestions for your friend. Love her, listen to her, encourage her but ultimately it is her choice because none of our free agency is removed. Like I said before, allow her to talk, you might be surprised at what comes up and she may too. I have seen it many times the surprise and the healing as they start to just vent. Keep a positive attitude and continually reassure she is loved by Heavenly Father. It is important for her to realize this because this is the love that is long lasting.
  3. Rushing off to a meeting. I will respond later. Elph
  4. We have had 100% success rate when they implement the strategies and the exercises we teach. Male or Female.
  5. You really need to get to the root of the problem. I believed this was mentioned above. Find out why she is questioning? Have there been any experiences in the past? Does she view pornography? Unfortunately, there are a lot of parents that do not want to deal with talking to their children about sex, pornography, gay etc. It is a must. They are being exposed to this on a regular basis. If you don't think this is true, go to any store and just look around as your checking out. Millions and millions of dollars are being paid to stores to put magazines for people to be exposed to. The media is paid to push controversial agenda's and therefore, that is what is on a lot of the magazines and newspapers. The hope is that it will become accepted. Look at the acceptance of tv shows. Now you have filth like Family Guy! Your friend is struggling from something we call a sexual addiction issue. She may not be addicted to sex but this is a sexual issue. My guess is that if there was some probing, you would discover a dark past, maybe even something she did not realize that happened when she was young. I could be wrong but I would be surprised. It is called un-layering. I would also encourage her to get some counseling. If her parents won't listen, she needs to find someone to openly talk to and develop a relationship of trust with. This is the purpose of a good counselor is to allow the individual to talk. Also, find out what are some triggers that get her thinking about this issue and she needs to address those triggers and train her brain.
  6. This is very tough. We had a similar situation locally. Naturally, we want to separate the body and the head from the perpetrator. However, after listening to the perpetrators story, we realized he was extremely messed up to. Very sad. Although I was still extremely upset with what was going on, it helped me gain a little more understanding of things and I actually felt sorry for him, too. Unfortunately, stuff like this goes a lot deeper than we realize. Much, much deeper. You cannot remove the past. However, you can add hope and promise to the future. The young lady that I am speaking of got messed up with drugs, sex and alcohol. She is now facing the issues head on and realizing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is hope and solace. She has been coming back to church and is starting to make serious progress towards overcoming her demons. I would develop a close, close relationship with your daughter and all of your children. Do things that they will not expect like pull them out of school for a lunch date. Invite them to go on dates with you. Write little love notes, expressing appreciation for them. Send them cookies or balloons or something at school. Don't over do it but be genuine. She needs to feel loved and cared for. If you are an endowed member, go to the temple yourself. Temple attendance is not just for us, it is for our families. Best Wishes
  7. Ok, as usual, I have found out that the media is completely wrong and blowing this way out of proportion. Yes it happened. Yes they will be punished. Yes what they did was wrong. Got that off my chest. Unfortunately, I can not discuss it, yet, due to confidentiality purposes and a current ongoing investigation. Here is what I can tell you. There are some serious problems with teens in schools. Not just Forbes but all schools. Because of the recent happenings, a very good principal is taking this seriously and is having all the servers searched. They are discovering more than they ever thought. The school is implementing some immediate steps to remedy this issue and, as usual, the media does not have the full story. I will discuss more when I can.
  8. True but it has never effectively been put into place. They are effectively using these methods and helping people world wide manage their sexual addiction issues.
  9. Unfortunately, anyone can get around any filter. I will not mention them here. They did a thorough search on their computers history for the past and have realized this is not the first time porn was pulled up. One of the problems is the schools need to stay up to date with technology. They have Macs which have some of the best filtering software around, however, you need to be on the latest O.S., which means money and with the recent cut back of funds, I doubt any will be funneled to update computers.
  10. Education is the key! Educate your children, family, friends etc. and have them have them create a reaction sequence. For example it pops up on computer, immediately shut it off. This is the plan if it pops up so naturally they will do it. Teach your everyone to have a plan or plan to fail. Just like all things, if you want to be successful, you need to have a plan in place.
  11. I forgot to mention the symposium is in June. Learn more here
  12. &^#*&% the InnerGold site is currently down. Man this is frustrating! We use Godaddy and have had this problem a lot lately.
  13. Queries, if you live in Salt Lake, and anyone else for that matter. InnerGold is also putting on a symposium talking about pornography and sexual addiction issues. I would encourage you to come and listen to the genius behind the InnerGold program.
  14. We should always address how the child feels, immediately. Good job, luscious this is how we can help our children from becoming addicted to porn.
  15. Very good. I hope you are teaching them what to do if they run into porn in the schools. If it was showed to them by a friend, what should they do? If they see it while doing research somewhere else, what should they do? One of the young men in our ward was researching an assignment on the school computer and, you know it, up pops porn from a site. He said he immediately shutdown the computer. I hope he did. When we respond immediately with a course of action that we have determined ahead of time, the image will not stick. It is looking at it for any extended period of time. I can speak from experience. I saw an image from a magazine at the age of 16 and that image has stuck with me my entire life. However there has been times when porn has popped up on my computer and I deleted it immediately and I honestly could not tell you want those images were. One of the steps I have taken when doing research is always looking at the url (the web address) before I scroll down or open the page completely. There is generally a slight delay before images begin popping up.
  16. It is imperative that you talk with your children and those that you may have some influence on about avoiding pornography. A recent news story was way to close to home for me. Here in Happy Valley (the term used for Utah County) porn was viewed at school by 5th graders who used a term the filters could not block. One child is saying it is difficult to get the images he saw out of his head. The fact-of-the-matter is that he will never get those images out of his head. He will now have to learn how to deal with those images. I hope and pray that the parents use this time to educate their children on what to do if they see porn and more importantly to come home and talk about it. This is why it is so important to learn about and understand pornography addiction. This is a multi-billion dollar industry that is out to get your friends, family and children addicted so they can increase their profit. Here is the full story if you are interested: - 5th-graders to be charged for showing porn to classmates
  17. With the latest understanding of how the human brain functions, we are ready to take the next step in the evolution of addiction treatment. The tools that have been developed are powerful and can increase the speed of change. We now understand how to increase the motivation and desire to change through neural reconditioning and consistent daily practice. For those who struggle with addiction issues, deep neural connections at the unconscious level are driving behavior. These neural connections can be changed is now sure. The brain is constantly changing and will continue to do so throughout life. You can read more on the Pornography & Sexual Addiction Group within this forum
  18. Leming, when people struggle with addiction, they do not think clearly. Eventually she will regret a lot of her decisions and unfortunately a lot of therapists counsel to think about yourself only. This is wrong because it can cause more damage to children than they realize. Stay strong, especially for those children, you are still their aunt.
  19. They might be rare but they still exist. Go to the temple on any given morning and you will see youth lining up doing baptisms for the dead. There is hope.
  20. Leming, it sounds like your sister has an addiction issue. What is causing the issue can only come from being able to vent to someone. This is the role of a therapist to listen and to be a sounding board and be privy to all of the information from the past to present. I would never jeopardize a friendship with a family member. You don't have to condone the behavior but don't feel like you should completely leave her. She is struggling with some deep related issues. Generally, in my experience, eating disorders are stemmed from a low self-esteem. However, they will try to put on the face that they are fine and they have a high self-esteem. I would personally recommend being a listening board. Sometimes you don't even have to say anything. Ask a simple question and allow her to go and express herself, even if it is negative towards family or friends. I know this is hard but it sounds like she needs to unlayer her issues. Like an onion, her addiction (eating disorder) has many layers and the outside is only to try and protect the layer beneath. Once she gets to the bottom, the complaining stops and a lot of time joy begins.
  21. Yes, the group you are referring to that is trying to get the magazine racks covered is not going as strong as it used to because the voice behind it, Betty, is much older and continues to suffer from illness. InnerGold is working with her to increase awareness. We are putting on a conference that is free, if you rsvp at: Ecclesiastical Help For Counseling Porn/Sex Addiction Issues We are wanting to educate people on the dangers of pornography and also the counseling of pornography.
  22. I wished I could give you a quick answer that would solve everything. Unfortunately, a problem like this is what caused many to not go to church in Michigan. We, missionaries, had to do a lot of damage control. The Branch President was released, etc... This is an ugly situation. If you recall something similar with Thomas B. Marsh. I will council with some of my associates and give you any advice we may have. Here are some obvious ones, maybe you have done them, maybe not: Fasted for resolution Gone to the temple Talked to the Stake President (he may understand having dealt with her his whole life) Whatever you do, keep a good, positive attitude. Easier said than done, I know!
  23. What is the gossip centered around? Not looking for specifics, just some generalities.
  24. I agree 100% I was reading an article today, in CNA, that is talking about how 10% of the world's population is addicted to pornography and the leading cause of many failed marriages: "Mexico City, Mexico, Apr 1, 2009 / 01:36 pm (CNA).- The president of the organization Morality in Media, Robert Peters, warned this week that at least 10% of the world's population is addicted to pornography and that this vice is the cause of many failed marriages. During the International Life and Family Congress at the Autonomous University of Baja California, Peters said that in most cases it is men who are addicted to pornography. During his speech entitled, “The effects of pornography on our children,” he noted that one of the problems pornography poses to marriages is that the one with the addiction begins to lose interest in his or her spouse and wants to recreate the acts depicted in pornography. He also pointed out that having pornography in the home exposes children to falling into the vice, and that the internet has allowed children to have increasing access to this kind of material. Porn has become one of the main educators of young people, he warned. Laws must be strengthened to protect minors from pornography, Peters said, and religion is one of the more effective means for combating the addiction, in addition to professional help. -CNA Again this all leads to the break down of the family!