InnerGold

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Everything posted by InnerGold

  1. I agree with gpuddin but you have to also understand that if he does not get the help he needs, unfortunately it could lead to some of the things mentioned. For your marriage to be what it should be, change is inevitable. He will have to get the help he needs and you will have to help him through it. We have seen some pretty bad cases where the husband and wife were on the verge of divorce, when the husband finally comes in to get help. Unfortunately, he came in only because his wife wanted him to. It wasn't for about a year after coming to counseling that it finally clicked and he wanted to change. This is the tipping point. It has to be his desire to change, not just yours. If he really wants to change his behavior, he can. Addiction to pornography is one of the worst addictions because once you see an image it is stuck like glue. It is always there to be a trigger if he is (B.L.A.S.T.) see previous post), so he will have to learn how to handle those triggers. He is not a bad man for having triggers. All men have them but they have trained themselves differently to handle them. Once he learns how the addiction is affecting the brain, he can start to change the trigger to a positive behavior. For example: I know someone who has been struggling with this addiction for over 25 years. Before he learned to control his brain, he would see a Cosmo. magazine and instantly start thinking of everything he has seen before (all the porn). Now, however, he recognizes it as a trigger and says to himself, " Yes, I recognize that there is an attractive young lady on the cover but I am not going to look at it. I will look away." Easier said than done but once he learned to master this. He has been sober (not looked at porn) for over 3 years. This is a miracle in our mind when he was looking at porn regularly. Yes, your husband is not trash or waste. He is someone struggling with an issue that 90% of the men in the world are dealing with. Help him and encourage him. Read the article written for ecclesiastical leaders. It will also help you to understand how you might be able to talk with your husband.
  2. I personally don't train. I don't know if Gordon Bruin teaches up there or not. I do know he has traveled all over Utah training people about addiction on the medical side, ecclesiastical side and also professional side. I am someone just trying to get the information out to the world, fast! There are so many people looking for help but don't know where to go. I have seen the miracle of his proprietary system change lives. He is not selling it for an arm and a leg so I really felt he, Gordon, was truly desirous to help people change and not just get rich. I was blown away! After I read through the manual and started applying the things he teaches to my life, I knew this could help everyone. Even if you are not addicted to something, his training of the brain is powerful.
  3. I would strongly recommend contacting the missionaries. also to learn more about the gospel visit this site and you can do some personal study: Mormon.org - Home click on free media at the bottom, request a Book of Mormon and or Finding Faith in Christ DVD. The missionaries will deliver it and you can start taking the missionary discussions. You can also talk to the Bishop of the singles ward and tell him you want to know more. He will help you get in contact with the missionaries and help you find friends, etc.
  4. I am glad that you were able to overcome your specific situation. I honestly wished more people could have that same strength. It is heart wrenching to hear the stories of people who has allowed porn to destroy them, mentally, physically, socially and emotionally. We have seen miracles with InnerGold with people that literally were on the verge of suicide because they have been praying, reading scriptures, talking to their bishop and still not able to kick it. I really truly wish they had the faith you have shown.
  5. Thank you, I honestly hope we can help as many people as possible. Our web site is full of free stuff to help people. They just need to make the commitment to change. Hopefully they do.
  6. The fact-of-the-matter is that if sure will power was enough, we would not have a need for the 12 step programs, etc. However, will power, with knowledge and the atonement you can accomplish miracles. Which is why these programs work. After we have shown our commitment to change and we have done everything in our will, the Savior steps in to help. The Savior will help in many ways, a lot of times it is through other people, other programs, other sources. A person does have will power but it is predicated upon their choices (agency). For example, someone who is addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, it doesn't matter. They have given up their agency or the will power to overcome their addiction. That is when other choices become available, i.e. 12 steps, AAA, rehabilitation clinics, etc. An addict has lost will power, that is why they are an addict. They no longer have the will power to stop but they have the will power to get help, because they know they need it. They use that will power in doing research, finding out options, choices, sources and then they make their own decision. Again, they have the will to change but don't know how.
  7. New to LDS.net and was referred by a friend. I have seen pornography and sexual addiction take the toll on many friends and family so I have made it my mission to help people with these issues. I know that we all have talents that can bless the lives of others. I was called to serve a mission in Michigan. I was bummed! I wanted to go foreign. However, after going there I was blessed with the opportunity of touching the lives of many people because of my talents. I am so grateful my Heavenly Father was so much wiser than I was. Those same talents have brought me to a program helping addicts called, InnerGold. It is literally helping people throughout the world. Dubai, Ghana, throughout Europe, China, etc.. It is absolutely wonderful! The InnerGold system was written by Gordon S. Bruin. It was written after many late nights. He would try to go to sleep but couldn't. He would get up write what was in his head and then he could go to sleep. He has a testimony all his own about how he has written the manual. He wrote the manual with the focus of changing the world one person at a time. I have seen this program work miracles and that is why I have joined to champion the cause to help people long-term overcome their addictions. The Gospel is true! It has blessed my life in so many ways I could not count them. I know that there are people out there who are struggling with addiction and they have counseled with their ecclesiastical leaders and professionals but are not getting the help they need. Therefore, they think they are alone. They are not alone. Heavenly Father loves all of us, despite our follies but he has provided people with talents that can help. Don't ever give up! You can do it! We are all brothers and sisters.
  8. The Church has a lot of good programs. This is one of many; however, their program does not work for all people. We have had several people who have come to us, devastated, because they did not overcome their pornography and sexual addiction so they feel like they are forever going to be lost. We are continuously counseling with Bishops and Stake Presidents/Ecclesiastical Leaders how to handle pornography and sexual addiction. If people fail in a program, they feel like there is absolutely no hope. There is hope but you have to encompass education with the atonement.
  9. I have found that Google Video has a much stronger policy for not showing the filth of pornography. Our presentations that we have online, we posted them on you tube but since we specialize in pornography and sexual addiction, at the end of the videos it would give more videos and most of them were exactly what we are helping people overcome so we started using Google Video and it has been great.
  10. Pornography has cycles. Every cycle is different some of our clients have cycles that are every day, some every month, some year and some even longer but it always cycles back around. Will power is not enough! Most people that view pornography feel like they are two different people. One person that abhors it and thinks it vile and disgusting and the other side who just wants to watch it again, and again. You need to understand how the brain works with addiction. We have posted a presentation called, "Pornography the Perfect Poison" that discusses the effect of pornography on the brain. I would encourage you to watch it. It is great that you are going to go see your Bishop. I would also encourage you to keep the computer in an open place. The desire to watch porn is brought on when you are: Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stressed or Tired so make sure you are getting good exercise, good sleep, keep busy with activities, learn to control your anger, remove some stress from your life. I know this is easier said than done but not only will it help you with this issue, it will improve your life overall. InnerGold
  11. First you need to understand one thing. It is not you. You are not ugly, or undesirable. Your husband has a real problem. We have been helping people with pornography and sexual addiction for over 18 yrs., even before people thought it was an addiction. The one common element is they don't know how to combat it. Most Bishops, Stake Presidents, Ecclesiastical Leaders and, yes, even counselors don't know how to handle pornography and sexual addiction. You can do a lot of praying, going to the temple, reading scriptures, singing hymns, talking with the Bishop on a regular basis and still not get the help you need. Through our study we have realized if a person wants to truly overcome pornography and/or sexual addiction. They must train their brain while utilizing the atonement. Here is a url, I am not trying to sell our services, it is a link to explain how pornography effects the brain. www.innergold.com. This presentation is one that we give to professionals. I encourage you to watch it. There is a lot of explanation that will help you to know what you can do. If your husband watches it, it will help you realize why he can't stop viewing it, even with an attractive wife. Unfortunately, no amount of intimacy will stop this behavior until he trains his brain. There is hope and confidence that someone can overcome this but it will take time and training of the brain. The reason why most individuals fail in their quest to overcome sexual addiction is due to expectations. They have said to themselves, " I am not going to do this again. " Yet, a few days, months later they repeat the behavior. It is because the limbic portion of the brain (the part the is responsible for survival) is using it as a survival technique. It is actually counter productive to say, " I am never going to do this again. " His body is using this as a survival technique to deal with boredom, loneliness, anger, stress or tired. (B.L.A.S.T.) Will power alone is simply not enough. How many times has he tried to stop? Think about it. If will power were enough, he wouldn't be repeating the behavior. Pornography addiction is serious and if he does not get the proper training and counseling. He will think there is nothing out their to help him and your marriage will be a struggle. InnerGold