mdfxdb
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Posts posted by mdfxdb
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I, for one, would be re-thinking my marriage. It'd be different if we already had kids together, but where there are no children--your spouse's announcement that (s)he will spend the rest of your marriage trying to undercut something that has been a lifelong goal for you, would be a very big deal.
This is good advice. Recently married you have an expectation that the ideals, and commanilities you shared pre marriage should still exist. Where there are no children involved you really need to evaluate where you are in the relationship, and if when you do have children you are willing to stand up for the ideals you have wanted your whole life.
I do not know anything about you or your husband, but if he was raised in the church, is a returned missionary, got married in the temple, then just turning his back on the church is a BIG deal. It is not the same as switching between Coke and Pepsi. Because you are married his decision to move away from the church is not only his decision because it affects you and your life as well. You need to decide if you want to live with the consequences of his decisions.
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I had a female member tell me on my mission "Elder I will never go inactive because if I do then nobody will ever visit me..."
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Nothing will happen. Some of the best desserts have coffee/alcohol in them. It's not a big deal.
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Ok, I am 26 years old and in my first relationship of about 1+ years. We get along pretty well, have a lot of fun together, and love each other. She is ready to get married and has told me many times. I think of marriage with her and I imagine how fun it would be. I quickly begin to think about things that she does that bother me or things about her past that bother me. I try repenting of my judgement calls, and try to be a better person. I don't feel like these things should be a factor, however, I cannot seem to get past them. I've been to the temple many times trying to get answers as to what to do. I don't seem to get anything. I pray, fast, and do, what I feel is, all the right things, to no avail. We're at a point where we really need to move on. She has been ready for quite some time, yet I'm still iffy about it. I can't tell if I'm just scared to get married and be completely responsible or if I genuinely have some deep concerns that need to be resolved first.
I think about losing her and feel devastated, but also feel worried when I think about marriage.
Things I worry about are: her debts (quite a bit), family issues (divorce in the family and sick parent), and sometimes her looks.
Anyone have any advice? I'm really desperate.
Advice: Move on. Let her go.
You have been dating 1+ yrs and still can't get over this stuff? It's time to move on. If you're concerned about her looks, it's time to move on. This isn't just for you, it's for her as well.
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Sheesh, I was a sixteen-eighteen years old boy who wanted women to look at him and worked out such that I would draw attention. I can't help the way others view me...
I feel your pain. It's hard being sexy all the time... people just stare.
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For someone to get the X they typically have to be unrepentant, or in a position where it is warrented (church leadership). Step 1. See the bishop. He will guide from there.
It would be unadviseable for the two people involved to see eachother. The propensity for relapse is too strong.
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Well, mdfxjegrslfohb also thinks that masturbating is a-ok, so keep his opinion in that perspective.
You will have to refresh my memory on that one.. can't remember ever posting that...
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That depends.
If you don't look once, you're not a man.
If you look twice, you're not a missionary.
exactly. When I look at the SI swimsuit edition I flip through it page by page....once...
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But do you go to the beach with the purpose of searching for women in tiny swimsuits? Kind of different than purposely picking up a copy of SI to look at women in next to nothing. In fact some of the issues they were nothing and the "bathing suits" were painted on.
Sure I look for women in all kinds of swimsuits not just tiny ones..
My point is that the OP is making a mountain out of a mole hill. Whether he is seeking it or not he will run across nudity. It's not if he sees it. It's how he internalizes it and deals with it. If he goes to a 3rd world country on his mission he will get an eyefull. He san sexualize it or not.
Wanting to see a beautiful woman is not a sin.
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My point is that these things are everywhere. Beaches, stores, tv. Maybe you are not seeking these things out of lust, but you do come across them. How do you deal with it? How do you feel about it when you see them? There is nothing wrong with looking at a beautiful woman. Nothing at all. Because you can appreciate beauty does not mean you lust. (well maybe everyone here does).
You don't have to go to a beach to play beach volleyball....just saying. Beach Volleyball is volleyball with sand. Could do it anywhere.....Did you play fully clothed? Were you covered so as not to draw lustful eyes? give me a break...
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Has no one here ever been to a beach? How about a beach in a foreign country? I know that where I live when I go to a beach I fully expect to see women in tiny swimsuits. Is that a sin?
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If you cannot look at a woman in a swimsuit with out lusting in your heart then I truly feel sorry for you. The truth is those women are beautiful. That's it. I am not suggesting people go out and buy SI swimsuit editions (I'm pretty sure there are no articles, at least none that i've noticed).
For the OP he needs to do whatever makes him comfortable to leave on his mission. I agree with the previous statements that he needs to have a clean consience and not be in the field with anything unresolved. I am merely pointing out that it might not be as big of a deal as he is making it out to be.
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When I pick up a SI swimsuit edition in the supermarket, and flip through the pages, am I committing a sin? I do not think so...
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I would suggest you see your bishop only if you really feel you need to. I think you might be making a mountain out of a mole hill here. This something I would put on my "home repentence plan". For that matter I'm not even sure it rises to something that even requires repentence.
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My understandingis the following:
Your child will not be sealed to the ex husband.
Your child is born in the covenant and recieves all the blessings of that as far as he/she is righteous.
Your child will be sealed to the mother as a matter of course because of her sealing to her ex, thereby making the child born in the covenant.
When you get sealed to your wife in the temple you will not be separately sealed to your child because your child is already sealed to your wife. Your sealing to your wife automatically includes your child in the sealing.
The only way that your child would not be sealed to you is if you were to not get the cancellation of covenants from the wife's ex, and you do not get sealed to your wife. This has nothing to do with the ex being sealed to your child. That is in fact impossible. The ex is not sealed to your child neither here nor in the eternities because he is not the childs father. Your wife is the only one who has claim on the child through the covenant.
Adoption is different because the child is legally separated from their parents, even if born in the covenant. The giving up of "parental rights" separates the child from their earthly parents in a legal sense. I think the church recgonizes this distinction and seeks to seal those adopted children to their new families. If a husband and wife are married in the temple and sealed, then adopt (even if the child were born in covenant to its biological parents prior to adoption) it would make sense for the child to be sealed to them as neither of them have a covenant with the child, i.e. have no claim either biologically or spiritually.
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Um...Driving 90mph while texting and your child is in the car? So blitzed he doesn't remember the drive. Acting like a single person? Cheating? How much punishment is someone supposed to take?
I agree all 3 can be forgiven, but is it necessary to live ones life with them? Assuming she has kept her covenants then he has to keep his. Eternal marriage does not equal eternal misery.....
We only know what she has told us about him. I can only assume she is being honest. Our judgements here are based on incomplete information at best.
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Addiction
Abuse
Adultery
Those are the A's for divorce. How many does he have?
Any one of those is reason for divorce.
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My understanding, and correct me if I'm wrong is that they are allowing "openly" gay scouts. So in a certain way they have recinded their don't ask don't tell policy. Who is to say there aren't gay scouts in the program who aren't openly gay? Do people still have the same concerns about their kids being "checked out", or sleeping arrangements if the scouts aren't "openly" gay?
So it's OK for a scout who is in the closet to check out another scout, but if he's openly gay, well then suddenly there's a problem? I don't see how this policy change in any way reflects poorly on the church, or the upholding of church standards.
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This isn't true. When my wife and I got married it was very hard for us, mainly me, to come to an agreement with money. I conceded because my wife's plan was a superior plan than mine and I am thankful for it. I do believe that it is hard for people to conform on money matters because when someone works, and works hard for it, they do with it how they please.
So I understand and say that he can change and an agreement can be made. I was use to doing whatever I wanted with my money, that sounds really selfish, to only having a very small amount of money each month for myself. I am happy and grateful for my wife and budgeting!
You are the exception. Congradulations. Too bad everyone in a marriage isn't like you. The divorce rate would be much lower. I stand by my original statement.
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It wont be easy. You need to decide if this is how you are going to live out the rest of your financial life. If you are ok with it then be prepared to take 2nd position as far as finances go for the rest of your life. This means you can't complain, you are accepting it.
Just because you had planned to have a joint account with him in the marriage doesn't mean his behavior will change. I can promise you it will not. When there are kids involved you can throw "equal say" out the window. He will do what he thinks is best for his kids no matter what, as he should. You should do the same. If you can't meet him on those terms then there is no real point to the whole thing.
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You're not married yet. If you already have those sort of resentment about money that will only increase once you are married. He will not change how he deals with money. Don't think he will. An agreement to marry is not marriage. Money in a marriage is a big deal. You need to hash this out before you tie the knot.
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How old are you? Best friend from elementary.....sounds kind of weird. Anyways, you've only seen him twice. Big deal... you are getting out way over your skii's. Date him a little. If you like him it will become apparent. If you don't, then break it off. Every relationship doesn't start with fireworks and signs from God. And the whole phoned while you were showering thing...coencidence.
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how long has it been? State laws vary. Some states give a landlord 21 days in which to return the deposit.
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Financial hardship only makes whatever is wrong with the relationship worse. Hopefully it's mostly in his name, otherwise declare bankruptcy (may or may not work depending on your situation) and get out.
Table Manners
in General Discussion
Posted
Yes it is bad table manners to reject it solely on disliking the food. This is not the same as honouring the Word of Wisdom. There is a religious restriction that comes with the Word of Wisdom.
I don't abstain from drinking wine, smoking, beer, coffee, tea because I dislike the taste. I abstain because it is a commandment.