mdfxdb
-
Posts
712 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
1
Posts posted by mdfxdb
-
-
If you want to stay married you need to forgive. Unconditionally. I cannot comment on the gravity of his "sin" or make a determination as to if you are making a mountain out of a mole hill without further information. However, that does in no way change how you feel right now. As mortal men and women, we are required to forgive. If you love your husband and want to be with him you need to make a conscious decision to forgive. That means you will not hold it over his head, you will not mash it in his face when he has another failing. He is still the person you married and you married him for good reasons. What were those reasons? Does what he did undo all of that?
-
Agency comes with consequence. If your husband wants his agency you cannot deprive him of it, but you have to be willing to draw clear lines as to what in your mind is acceptable and unacceptable. For me I would not allow contact with this person. My significant other would be allowed to do what they want (agency) and then I would have to make a decision. That decision may be to leave the relationship. Your mileage may vary...
-
?? the reason is you turned 31...no faith required. couldn't be helped unless you have a fancy way-back machine with a flux capacitor in it...Maybe your in the new ward for a reason, have some faith brother and see why you are really there.
-
What do you think goes on? If they aren't interested, they should say so and move on. the end. besides it wont last long. he will be asked to leave. Attractive young women get hit on in the general population and there are no dividers for age. they can deflect really old guys as easily as a 31 year old. 20 something dating a 30 something isn't creepy. That varies based on the person. The real problem is when the 31 year old has some significant baggage they are trying to bring to a relationship with someone relatively young who has significantly less life experience.
I'm not disagreeing with the 30 year old rule as a divider. It is put there to negate the possibility of what I just mentioned, however I would still go until I got asked to leave.
-
31 isn't creepy. And you obviously want to date younger women. So you have to go where they are. Don't worry you will be asked to leave...
-
I say go to the 30 and younger ward until you are kicked out.
-
.
Another possibility is the simple fact that God respects our agency. When you read the scripture you will find (especially in the D&C) that God will promise blessing only to have the person that it was promised to mess up, have a change of heart or otherwise no longer be eligible for the blessings. This is not because the Lord changed his mind but because people failed to maintain what was needed. From what you describe there was three people involved. Three people, any one of which can freely choose to do something else that would potentially end it.
hitting the nail on the head. I do not doubt the veracity of your personal revelation, however we all get to exercise our agency, and because of that those things which are revealed to us may or may not come to pass. Add into that our limited perspective on time vs. Gods perspective on time. Who knows what will happen?
-
Sounds to me like you are both repentant and disgusted. Its up to you, I personally doubt 2 minutes of porn that accidently popped up when you were looking for something else is anything to be that upset by, its like a train wreck, you know its bad but just can't help looking as you pass by. Now if you have a desire to watch it again, or are attracted to porn then yes, let your Bishop assist you.
this is the right answer
-
nobody's mentioned the three S's of garment wearing. Wear at all times except for: Swimming, sports, sex...
Seriously though, who looks up a woman's skirts to determine what kind of underwear they are wearing?
OP..you need to do what you feel is right as regards to garments. It was stated early on in the thread that we are not to be instructed/commanded in all things.
-
What can make a marriage work: Knowing that the whole is greater than the individual, complete and total selflessness, unconditional love.
What makes it not work: Selfishness
Most marital problems stem from one party or the other being selfish. Sexual problems, communication problems, ... most of those stem from one party or the other being selfish.
-
I am sure she is complicit in the actions they are engaging in. That does not negate the fact that it is a mistake on both parts. By the way doesn't he hold the priesthood?...
-
Just because something is unethical, does not make it unlawful. Some states have very stringent tenant rights. Also, most tenants in my experience know little to nothing about how to properly repair the properties. Add on to that most tenants do not care for their properties as if they are their own and you have a situation that leads to neglect on the part of the tenant.
If a tenant takes into his hands to effect a repair on one of my properties, they are in effect spending my money...
Most tenant repairs, not all, but most take the path of least resistance and you typically see a half-way job done by an inexperienced or unlicensed repair man which in the long run can cause more damage the property than not fixing it.
A lot of things can happen when you own real property, there are a lot of what if's. That is why you should carry an umbrella policy.
That being said, I think a contentious land lord (like myself) looks to be ahead of repairs and looks to keep their properties maintained. Which is why I will iterate that any tenant that seeks to spend my money will be evicted in accordance with the laws of the state and city where I live. You don't let strangers spend your money do you?
The OP should take all measures to inform both the management company, and the owner of his problems. If those problems persist then they should seek to leave the property. A good land lord will fix those problems because it is in their best interest to keep the properties as maintained as possible. Neglect of small fixes inevitably leads to more expensive fixes down the road, or even major renovations.
whose been banned???
-
One of the temple recommend questions is whether you sustain your leaders. Perhaps this bishop felt that openly criticizing one's bishop (who just happened to be him) is a refusal to sustain said bishop, and prima facie evidence of an unwillingness to sustain one's leaders. Not sure I disagree.
criticizing ones bishop is not prima facie evidence of unwillingness to sustain ones leaders. Bishops are people just like the rest of us, and they screw things up just like the rest of us. from what I can glean from the OP it sounds like the bishop was out of line. Just because you sustain a leader doesn't mean he's always right, nor does it mean you have to do what they say every time.
and to answer the OP there is no other requirement/additional question other than those which are standard for a temple recommend. It has been handled above through specific reference that the leadership may not add additional requirements. It is entirely possible the bishop screwed up the scouting deal and now can't handle the criticism.
-
I don't know anything about you, but if you are worried about day-care then don't drop your kid off at day-care. Do the jogging stroller thing, or get up earlier and have your husband watch your child before work. Like many things in life most people do not care for things as their own..children included.
-
You need to check local laws. As a landlord I understand how frustrating things can be when repairs don't get made, and I try my best to be attentive.
It seems odd the property management company isn't communicating very well. That being said in the state where I live the tenant has no right to deduct from rent the cost of repairs or refurbishments unless specifically spelled out in the lease/rental contract. If my tenant were to try to deduct from rents a perceived repair I would give them an eviction notice for non-payment of rents.
-
Without getting into specifics or worrying too much about the inter-family relationships. Here is my advice:
Your sister should dump her pseudo missionary boyfriend and move on to a real man who can keep his commitments and covenants.
Just because you give her this excellent advice doesn't mean she will do it. She is in love and people in love are not known for making good decisions.
-
1. See someone about your depression. This may be what the root cause is. If you can get help for your depression you will become clear on other matters.
2. I will skip your other stuff, and just address the "girl". You should only be friends with her. Do not form an emotional attachment to her or have her form one to you if you know you are not ready or worthy. To do different is to toy with her emotions and is unfair.
-
Home repentance plan for me on this one. You know if you have completed the repentance process. You know how to stop doing those things you shouldn't be doing.
-
I think you are reading too much into it. Don't talk to your bishop about it, he's a busy guy. People are people, and the church is the church. One does not always fully represent the other. Some of the most righteous, upstanding, and Christ like people I know are not members of the LDS faith. Some of my biggest let downs have been by members of the LDS faith. That doesn't mean the church isn't true, or correct it just means people misbehave in all walks of life.
-
When your motorcycle wont start a piece of you dies inside..
-
?? what happened to Alucard1975?
-
There was a super funny post by Alucard1975
What happened???
-
No ex girlfriends on FB, thats the rule When I first got on FB all my friend requests were from ex girlfriends.
No ex girlfriends I didn't friend any of them and trust me I wanted to, but the fact that I wanted to was an indication that I shouldn't
For the OP in your case you need to call him out.....it stops TODAY......or your done...
x2 there is no valid reason to "reconnect" with an ex on FB. I will repeat NO VALID REASON
It stops or you're done. He is cheating.
-
Leaving is never easy, but consider as stated above your children, and the environment they will grow up in. Their male role model will not be a member of the church in good standing. That doesn't mean their father is a bad person, and does not have many admirable qualities. If the good qualities of him as a man can over-ride his position on the church, and if he can treat you with the love, respect, dignity you deserve regarless of his feelings for the church then there is an arguement to work it out.
Moving forward from an emotional affair...
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
Deciding which is worse is an individual decision. If you husband has stated he doesn't want to know details then please don't share them with him. That would be a huge mistake, and selfish of you. If you feel you need to talk to the bishop about it then go and see him. Since you have cut things off I would probably not bother the bishop, it sounds like you talked things through and while you didn't get into detail you did discuss what you "liked" about the other man and that was probably enough. Basically I would say you need to get over it, and concentrate on your husband.
Oh, and he isn't over it, nor has he forgotten. He is giving you a huge chance to prove yourself, don't blow it by continuing to bring up the past. The more you bring up post confession the more he will wonder what else is being left out.