cynthia_ann

Our family had a conversation on this very topic. After looking around on the net, especially lds.org and news sites, we concluded that Elder Packer didn't necessarily misstate the church's view, inferred because the church reps didn't take back what he said or apologize (they simply edited) even after demands that they do so, but that he was too harsh for the circumstances. You catch more flies with honey. We try to help people understand that the behavior is unacceptable without ruffling all that many feathers because it's easier to help someone who isn't already furious with you. ...Or something along those lines. Just like it's easier to help your kids when you're telling them how much you love them instead of how much trouble they're in and what bad kids they are. Make sense? Anyway, obviously not set in stone, just my thoughts.

And if he tells you he is picking you over the non lds girlfriend he had before his mission because you are his salvation turn around and run away as quickly as possible. Only he can be his salvation you are only in charge of yours. Never be a man's second choice. Those were the warning signs that I ignored. doesn't matter that he was the one in the wrong I still saw it and I still married him. Love it. Absolutely. After seeing the lives now of many of those my dad used to call "social cases" (guys I thought I could help or even those I didn't think that about but who needed help) I can say that you should never marry a man who "needs" you in order to make it. The ones who say they'll jump in front of a truck if you leave them or they'll go back to drugs, or the ones you're trying to help along because they "need" you will make for a difficult life. Not that they're necessarily bad, just that you can't drag someone along after you when you're raising a family. You both need to be able to pull your own weight and be a comfort and support to each other or it gets mighty rough.

I'm divorced because I married at a young age, having few good dating experiences, because I didn't examine how compatible we might be (and found later that we wanted much different things out of life and neither of us were willing to budge), because I was not tolerant, and because we had absolutely nothing in common. In hindsight, not marrying in the temple was a red flag, the fact that we both disliked each other's families as well as those families not really appreciating our choice of spouse played a part, our completely different backgrounds, and lack of communication were huge. Intimacy was a huge problem but I didn't think to discuss it beforehand (would always recommend that btw), religious differences were as well- but as we were both LDS I didn't explore his real beliefs before marriage either. I assumed a lot. I'm remarried to the love of my life forever because we both took the time to study each other's lives and families before we decided that was what we wanted, because we were best friends (we still stay up till all hours of the night talking- just like I used to w/ my gf's at slumber parties but better), and because we talked about absolutely everything, prayed about it, obtained consent from both our families, and married in the temple. Seriously, we talked about everything. Expectations about behavior, gospel principles, intimacy, children and parenting, homeschool vs. public school, vaccinating vs. not, politics, video games, family situations, what kinds of music we listen to (because there are many kinds I can't handle in the house) what would you do ifs...and much more, because I was worried after that first marriage and didn't want a repeat. I wanted to make sure we were absolutely clear on each others' positions and that after all that we still wanted to be married. I didn't know marriage could be so wonderful! He's perfect for me, and I try my best to make him happy :).

Agreed, mission, then military. Same advice I gave my brother, also what my husband did. You'll be blessed...if you follow all the rules and you're sincere about wanting to go on a mission. It'll change your life- in a good way! :)

I'm not saying all gaming is bad, but I will say that I personally hate it. My first husband played some repulsive games that really shocked me. Of course...I'm easily shocked :). But in talking to my girlfriends I've noticed there is one similarity we all seem to share. If I say "video games" they all role their eyes! Come to find out, most of my married women friends loathe the fact that their husbands play. Interesting, yes? Several have even told me it's their main or only conflict in their marriage. Wow. (Not a problem; I told my husband how much I can't stand games before I married him and he agreed not to do it- except when he's at his brother's house, and even then if there is something in the game that would be offensive or directly conflict with the gospel (ie- immodesty, engaging in illegal activites, etc) he doesn't play it.) It's interesting how many wives get SO upset by this. I thought I was one of the few who could instantly turn into a mean grumpy monster just by turning one of those things on!

It's kind of that way in Tagalog too. They have that same "ng" sound. However, for some reason it takes a lot longer to say things. Looking at the Book of Mormon it's significantly longer than the English version. But when "faith" is "pananampalataya" I guess it makes sense:).

I wondered if there was still real interest in modest nightgowns, and if so, try to get a feel for how widespread it is. I guess this comes under the heading of market research, but I really couldn't find anything I liked when I was getting married. My husband does not happen to think garments are particularly attractive on their own. Recently, being frustrated with feeling sloppy in my sweats and t-shirt, I decided to have my own made. Then others expressed mild interest, and I've thought about selling them...but I really thought I was the only one who cared. I'd post pictures for opinions if I could figure out how. But it's late. Maybe, I'll do it tomorrow.