MovingForward

I decided to tell my husband the details. It was hard and my heart was racing but I am so glad I did. I feel lifted and I feel peace again. I was feeling nervousness before. He was hurt and we cried and hugged but he was understanding. He said he knew, things don't have to be said to be felt but I needed to say it. I really appreciate that my husband recognized that it was both of us that need to work harder. He appoligized for being away so much and being exhausted when he got home and often not communicating with me but we are doing better with that. I have one more question.... I know in my mind that this emotional affair was very wrong. I see that it could have destroyed 2 temple marriages and families. I blocked him on facebook, I got a new phone, they moved away for his job, I am running away from the situation because I know it is wrong. I have confessed to the Lord, my bishop, and husband and feel the Savior closer now in my life than I have in a long time. My questions is how can i know something in my mind so strongly but my heart still has a desire to be with the other man? I miss him. I try not to but I think about him but wonder what he is doing. My heart just hurts for him. I want to feel again how he made me feel alive, beautiful, loved, excited etc. I would never contact him but I do feel tempted. I know this man would be open to continue our communication if I was open to it but I won't. I just wish the desire would go away! I have tried to create these same feelings with my husband by texting him sexy pictures of myself when he is at work, having date night each week, talking alone more each night, having sex everyday, and serving him more by making his favorite meals, etc... I love him so deep in my heart but it still feels comfortable and non exciting. Is there a way to have exciting love again? Have I not repented because I still have a desire to be with this man even though I know I would never and it makes me sick to think how wrong this is. Is having the temptation there a sin or only acting on it?

I know that my husband has not forgotten but it does seem like he has moved on. He seems happy and loving and says for the most part trusts me because I told him from the beginning when we started texting. He just doesn't want me to keep bringing it up or know the details because he says he just wants to move on. I think I will respect his wishes unless he asks later. I think this will sit in my mind until i go to the bishop again and tell him the details. My husband actually got a new job at an engineering firm when this was all going on and is now home early and we spend lots of time together now and we are really healing and feeling happy again. I just feel like some of the details of the texting sit at the back of my mind and I am carrying the guilt of those. I have been questioning myself alot and why this happened. My husband and I have a great marriage. We have sex about 6-7 times a week after being married for 7 years and still very attracted to each other. I think I was lonely cause my husband was gone so much for work and I was flattered that this man had such strong attraction to me and said he was in love with me. I was addicted to the attention. I don't really feel like I had strong feelings for him because I don't think about him hardly ever anymore? I also think my personality is fun and I love new exciting things and am a real doer....this other man was the same. My husband is more of a stay home and watch a movie kinda guy so we are trying to find balance and do more fun exciting things together. Many lessons learned here.....

Do you think men would be more hurt by a sexual affair than an emotional one and woman the opposite? It just seems like my best friend is really suffering with this and said it would have been better if we just had sex than to hear that her husband was in love with me and never had any physical. My husband was hurt and shed a tear or 2 but he said he felt better about it since there was not any physical contact. Which is worse? Emotional or sexual? Sexual seems worse to the church but both break covenants.

I would say that I sugar coated the sexting part. Not giving the details to my husband or bishop. I told them both that me and this man told each other what we liked about each others bodies but not the details....I guess I should be more clear. I never told my husband or bishop that this turned me on. If I am thinking about it then I guess i should go into more detail? or do I just need to repent more to feel clean? I appreciate your advice...

I have brought it up a few times wanting to talk about more detail but my husband just says...I forgive you completely and I trust you and he said he would rather not know details and doesn't want to talk about it anymore and just move forward? Also while talking to my bishop, he seemed to make light of it because nothing physical ever happened. He just told me to focus on my husband and our marriage covenants and if I was still struggling communicating with him or thinking about him to come back to talk to him.... He said this was the first time dealing with an "emotional affair"

Ugh...how did this happen? I am a returned missionary, come from an amazing leadership family in the church, pretty much been on the straight and narrow my whole life. I married a year after my mission to the most amazing spiritual loving husband. My husband's job the last 2 years caused him to be away alot and not home until 9pm at night most nights. I really started to get lonely so I really got close to my best friend. We would get together numerous times a day. Her husband was home alot and we ended up getting to be close friends. I told my husband that I thought we were too close and we talked about it openly. It was almost weird how much we had in common and how funny we were together. We would flirt some but always had our guard up and my best friend was always there. We were not alone ever. My husband was the elders q. pres and this guy was the first counselor. We trusted ourselves too much. Me and my best friend had a couple conversations about her husband and she asked me if he had ever said anything or tried anything or if she could trust him? I struggle some with self esteem and he made me feel good about myself. I didn't think too much about him but when I was with him I felt happy, excited and motivated. I noticed I always wanted to look my best around him. Anyway their family moved away. Only 5 minutes after they drove away he started texting me that he was in love with me, wanted to be with me, wanted to make love to me etc. I felt guilty that I felt happy and flattered that he said these things to me. I told my husband right away. This man was also my husbands best friend. We all were just so close. The man told me he only thinks of me when he has sex with his wife, etc. For about 3 weeks we texted each other. I cut the texting off 3 times and he would not text me for about 3 days then text that he missed me and how hard it was for him not to text me. I loved the attention. I felt sexy again. I felt alive. but I felt terrible for my husband and how could I feel this way. I was never in love with this man but more loved the attention he gave me. I told my husband this and we talked openly about the situation.....all but one thing. There were 3 times when we "sexted". It was mostly him typing things but I also did a little bit. He sent me a few pictures he took of himself at the gym in the bathroom but had shorts on. After 3 weeks I sent him a text that said ur relationship needs to be done, he sent one back that said....you don't understand because you go home to a great husband and I go home to a cold shoulder. He accidentally sent that text to his wife, my best friend and it had my name in it so she basically knew. I have not talked to him or his wife since that day. I wrote her a letter and apologized and she wrote me back and is obviously hurt and doesn't want to talk to me ever again. Here is my issue.... I told my bishop about the situation and texting and my feelings and told my husband too but I didn't tell my husband or the bishop about the sexting. It was mostly the other man and I didn't send inappropriate pictures of myself to him but I know that is justifying it. It has been 3 months now and I am wondering if I need to go back and tell the bishop about the sexting and my husband? I have prayed about it and feel peace again in my life and feel the Spirit so much more now then before but should I tell the bishop and my husband about the sexting or just move forward? My husband never brings it up and seems like he has forgotten about it. I feel good that I don't think about the guy anymore. I really feel like the Lord took that away from me. I still daily have a hard time with my best friend...wishing we could talk and I could help her through this trial but I know now that I will always be the "other woman" in her mind now. I hope their marriage will be ok.... Should I go back and tell the bishop and my husband the sexting I left out? Thanks