[Is This Aproppriate?]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE

Can't do it. Although everyone in the vicinity knows who was in the Bishop's office when they come out (kind of hard to hide), they have no clue why they were in there. Was it a calling? Was it a confession? Were they making arrangments for their families to do a camp out? No telling.

If, however, you put a window in his office, now people can see in and tell if that person is crying, if there is a court going on, whatever. The sense of privacy in confessing to the Lord thru the Bishop is lost because others can see in.

We have windows in the bishops door in every chapel in our stake. Theres no problem.

We have to remember that a youth is poking at this in a temper tantrum. To have him insinuate that his Bishop is on the same level as he is is ridiculous in the extreme.

JcDean78 Posted Today, 08:50 AM

I would agree with the glass window on the office door. I think that is a reasonable thing to do

So, in other words because he is a youth he must be immature, and not in control of himself, and having a 'tantrum' and because the bishop is older he therefore must be more mature and incapable of making mistakes.

sixpacktr, get real.

[People Swearing]

You have to ignore it. Yeah its not nice, but this is the real world, people swear. My husband works on building sites and the language they use makes you almost cringe. Every other word is an F, they talk hideously about what they do to women, etc etc. My husband hates it, but he has had to get used to it. If he didnt, he'd be out of a job! They make fun of him as it is knowing he's a christian (they dont know he's a member otherwise he would literally be risking physical harm-one of his work mates had the elders knock on his door and he told the whole site what he wanted to do to those F-ing Mormons, and he would). Swearing is the least of his problems!!!! To avoid swearing you'd have to never watch films, t.v or go out. On the phone, ignore it. In person, I might say (as I have done at work), I am not going to have this discussion until you stop swearing at me. Usually they do, sometimes it makes it worse as you say. So now I just say, I will not discuss this with you while you are behaving this way/shouting whatever. That works better as people who are swearing are usually shouting lol.

[Is This Aproppriate?]

As far as the bishop interviewing a youth of the opposite sex goes, it's almost like a father interviewing a daughter, though even that is not always a given these days. Plus, youths do tend to have the proverbial "raging hormones" that they haven't necessarily gotten used to dealing with. In any case, it's not as though the bishop is "hanging out" with the girl--just interviewing her for a few minutes.

How come its ok for a bishop to interview/be alone with a girl, but its not ok for two male elders to be alone with a woman-they are only 'teaching' her in any case. You could use the same argument for that but thats not allowed. Its far more dodgy for young woman/older man alone, than two guys with a woman. Unless they all agree to a threesome simultaneously I fail to see how that could be dangerous.

As far as ALmom and being alone with a young woman for heaven's sake-what do they think could happen? Are they going to have a lesbisan kiss in the back seat on the way??!! Is ALmom going to attack her???

I also spend a lot of time with my sister in law. We are very close and were good friends before my wife and I started to even date. After I had been married for several years, a guy in the bishopric came to me and said that i need to stop being alone with my sister in law so much. (Thats almost impossible because she lives with us).

I told him that sometimes people like to see in others their own faults because they know what THEY would be tempted with in that situation. The subject has never come up again.

lol, its true. What next, being told I'm not allowed to be alone with my brother??? I can see where carguy is coming from, as a new member and a teenager it must look like double standards, which I think it is. You are always perceived as having 'uncontollable emotions' as a teenager and must be constantly thinking about sex, and, as soon as you're alone, well, we're gonna do it. Id hate to have that judemental label pasted on me because I as a teenager was totally in control of my emotions thankyou very much. I was also alone with my husband lots. How else can you build a relationship??

Sounds like a control issue to me

Precisely!!

[Healthy Habit's That Aren't]

As a nurse, i can tell you that drinking water is one of the best things you can do for your skin and general health. Your skin is peachy and glows, and it flushes toxins out of your body. Drinking fizzy sugary drinks is very bad for you. I drink them occasionally (like now, dr pepper mmmm), but all the time-uh uh. The sugar converts into fat in your body, is bad for your teeth and will give you a high, followed by a crashing low. Sugar addiction is now being recognised as almost as addictive as heroin. Fizzy drinks also bloat you.

For some people, eight glasses a day might actually be far too much, leading to sodium deficiencies and potentially life-threatening water intoxication, caused by kidneys not being able to keep up the intake of liquids.

The only way this would happen SF is if you drank enough to fill a swimming pool, or had acute renal failure where you're fluid intake is limited to a litre a day of you are on dialysis. Not 8 glasses, which is the equivalent to 2 litres.

[Is This Aproppriate?]

Almom, Are you saying the church frowns upon a woman and a young woman being in the car together???

[You Can Consider Yourself A Good Parent When...]

My Dad is in the same situation with my sister. She is not active and has decided to move in with her boyfriend. He is a complete loser who is blatantly using her and who is a waste of space. My entire family has this opinion and my husband can barely stand to be in the same room as him. She is without a doubt making a huge, stupid mistake.

So, my Dad, as a loving parent took her out to lunch to talk with her about it. The gist of the whole conversaion was that, I do not agree with this, I think he is wrong for you, and it is not right. However, I love you, you are my daughter and I want the best for you, but you are an adult and can make your own decisions. but this is how I feel.

Absolutely the right thing to do.

[Stray Mind]

vinny, I am so going through the same things as you. Up until I went to university I was a strong member like anyone, loved the church and was happy. I am still happy, but not with my life in the church. I believe its true, but I have so many issues and struggles with it, sometimes it doesnt feel worth continuing with. I dont know why I feel this way, I was miss molly mormon at church, the 'good' one, the 'example' all the other parents wanted their kids to be like. But now I feel like an antagonistic rebel. I have no idea why that is, its happened over a few years and seems to be getting worse. I do pray and read my scriptures, but only sometimes. Its hard. I wish I could find a way out of this too. maybe it is Satan. Im probably not doing enough. Let me know if you manage to find any answers, but yes I do feel the way you do.

[High/low]

My high would be my new pet lizard climbing in to my hands on his own accord which means he trusts me now and wont run away

My low would be our car failing its MOT miserably. So badly, the garage wont even fix it so we have to get a new car such is life!

[White Shirts And Ties]

I know, I know, it's different, you're not like everyone else...gotcha.

Did anyone else hear me say that? No me neither However, no I am not like everyone else-neither are you, or shan, or anyone on this board. We are all different. That's the way God made us. The Lord made us all different shapes, sizes, personalities and attitudes for a reason. We all express our personalities in different ways. The leaders of the church as shan said, (not the Lord because this isnt anything to do with him, its the leaders own opinions and whims meted out on the rest of us), have this image that THEY want the members of the church to convey-not the Lord, them. THEY want men to have clean cut appearances, THEY want all women to wear pretty dresses to church with one pair of earrings, THEY want men to wear white shirts and ties etc. I think certain leaders, not all, abuse their positions to ensure all members do certain things, and then fob us all off with, 'well its obedience thats the issue', so that you dont or cant argue back, when really its all about them having power. I have mentioned in a previous thread my faith in leaders has been massively shaken through a number of personal experiences, so I find it difficult to trust little things like the issues we have been talking about as I find it very hard to believe that it comes from the Lord. If a leader tells me to pray, to forgive, to pay tithing etc, fine, I know that comes from the Lord as thats what the church is all about. When they say, you cant wear certain shoes or jewellery or have a certain hairstyle I think hmmm...is that what the Lord really wants??

The LORD and His servants who ask one set of earrings? or The woman who cannot display enough bling in just two holes and therefore requires four to get the bling she needs?

The Mission President who asks the Elders for a certain haircut? or The Elder who just can't do that cut because the one he prefers seems to make the shape of his head look more proportioned?

The Young Women's leadership who ask that the girls wear dresses? Or the girl who just doesn't want to look like all the rest, but feels she will stand out and look a lot cooler in these pants she just found on sale?

Who is really absorbed with appearances?

a-train this has nothing to do with being vain, it's about putting things in perspective. In the scheme of things, one, two, three four pairs of earrings-it doesnt matter, I never gave earrings a second thought until the Prophet gave that talk. But now its an issue because it has little or nothing to do with my eternal soul. My husband is not vain either, that haircut had nothing to do with vanity, it was to do with being used like a pawn to make the mission president, the church, whatever, look how he wanted, which is wrong.

The obedience argument doesn't work-We're being obedient to all ten commandments, the Word of wisdom etc. All these asides are the leaders of the church using 'obedience' to get us to do what they want

By the way, I have only one pair of earrings, i used to have more but they got infected and I had to take them out and couldnt get them back in again. If they were fine, I would still be wearing them today. I wear a skirt or dress and nice shoes (flip-flops in the summer) to church because thats what I feel most comfortable in, not because thats what someone told me I have to wear. If the Bishop suddenly decided we all had to wear jeans and t-shirts to church I wouldnt do that either because I wouldnt feel comfortable.

I am exercising the agency the Lord gave me when I came down to earth

[White Shirts And Ties]

I'm not disagreeing with you guys here, just stating my opinion... I truly think God could care less about the clothing we wear to church. It's what's in your heart that matters. Also, I have never seen a pic of Jesus without facial hair, or with short hair.

With all the things to worry about, I honestly don't even think He knows what we're wearing, or if we have tattoos or piercings. It's trivial details that say nothing about who we are.

As far as me wearing my best for Him... I try to get my best attitude for Him before going to church, although my church is largely casual.

People who wear khaki's, or even jeans or shorts to church are no less sincere in their desire to worship God. Trust me, I've known many people who dress to the nines who are the most shallow people I've encountered! I think God would rather them change what's in their hearts, rather than to worry about the clothing they have on.

Shan I agree with you. The church seems to be obsessed with image one way or another, and really, I dont think God could care less. Im sure he loves me and is concerned for my eternal soul-not whether Im wearing flip flops or heels to church. My husband refused to wear a side parting on his mission. He said it looked silly, it was an American fashion, and irrelevant. His mission president told him he would not progress on his mission from a junior companion unless he wore a side parting. I cant tell you how much that angered me. What has that got to do with anything???? Basically the mission president was playing God-Ill tell you to do this and you must to prove your obedience. What if he told him to wear underwear on his head to 'test' his obedience? Its ridiculous. To prove the point, Rob still refused after he made an EXAMPLE of him in Zone conference, a new mission president came in, actually cared about missionary work, not Robs hair style, and within weeks he was a zone leader. And I dont get the earrings thing in women either. Why only one pair? Would people (shock horror) think any less of us? Does it look silly/messy/extreme? No. I say to Rob when I die and face the Lord, and could say Lord, were you bothered that I had two earrings? Does anyone really think he would say, oh yes it mattered so much. I was so upset by it, and it will affect your eternal salvation. Gimme a break.

["grandmas And Grandpas Are Fun"]

That is so lovely :) The innocence of children.

[Polygamy Predictions.]

I disagree. Love is a verb, an action. God loves me as well as you. Does that mean He doesn't love me with all His heart just because He loves you too? Of course not. Love isn't a physical, tangible, divisible object. It's a gift we give from our heart and manifested through our service to others.

Of course you can love more than one person, I love lots of people in my life, and you would love all your children equally. But there are different kinds of love, I love my Dad, and my best friend, but not the same. You love your spouse with a different kind of love, a physical love aswell. Yo need that deep emotional bond as two people in love witheach other to be husband and wife. You cant tell me you love your Mother the same way you love your wife, that would be worrying if you did.

You're defining love as an emotion

Of course love is an emotion!! Yes it is an action, but not only an action. You actions are defined byyour emotions. The way you talk is like, right I am going to choose to love that person now. Likewise you could say the same for any other 'emotion' like happiness or misery. I will now be happy, I will now choose to be sad. Thats so planned and robotic, and frankly, not normal.

Precisely. Again, you define love as a feeling, a state of mind, whereas I define it as a quality, an action, a verb, a choice. Love isn't a crater that we fall into

.

There's that saying you cant choose who you fall in love with. While I agree and disagree with that statement, the point its making is once ur in love with someone you cant just hop in and out, i love you today, now I dont, now I do, now I dont. It just doesnt work like that! If there are people who do that that then they are coldhearted. You cant pick out a stranger in the street and say, right I love them, which is basically what ur saying.

Again, fearing that the "other wife" is more attractive stems from an insecurity and scarcity mentality (he doesn't love me enough, I don't get enough affection, she has more of his appreciation than I do...).

You've taken my comments as insecurities. Of course it's nothing to do with that, I could then get jealous over Rob loving his sister or Mother which would be ridiculous. I suppose I am a lucky girl that I have found a husband like the one I do, who utterly loves and adores me, as I do him, and could never do what you suggested. Her would sooner stick pins in his eyes than have another woman aswell as me. That is because he is totally and utterly devoted to and in love with me and has given that type of love, for his spouse, his whole heart, as his wife. Reading what you have written makes me genuinely sorry for you and people who decide to 'choose' love as a state of mind. They are missing out on real love, big time, and that is really sad if thats all they'll settle for. Girls, (and guys) are you with me?? :)

By the way Crimson, are you married?

[Polygamy Predictions.]

So happens I think I could love and serve more than one woman along with few or many children. I don't stay up at night praying for polygamy to be reinstated. But it wouldn't scare me, embarass me, or alienate me from the Church.

If my husband came upto me and said, 'you know what babe, I love you, but I could love someone else too' I would be devastated. It would mean he didn't love me with all his heart and soul, only a bit of it. He had room left to love someone else. I would be devastated. Men with attitudes like that are the ones who have affairs as all is not fulfilled. I'm not saying you would have an affair, I dont even know if you're married,but I dont know what your wife would say if you told her you didnt love her with all your heart and soul, only some of it. Great. If ure not married, you maybe havent fallen head over heels in love like you should do when you get married. Because to say you could love more than one woman means you cant be, or aren't planning to be, 'in' love, only 'to' love. That would not be good enough for me im afraid, and I dont think it would be for the majority of women out there.

Seriously though, begood, be it unto me according to the Lord. I really don't care what He asks me to do. I'll do my darndest to do it. Easy or not. Is that so surprising?

So, what if the Lord asked you to do something like he asked abraham, like murder your child. Would you do it? I wouldn't, because that would prove you didn't love your child. It would prove you loved the Lord, but that you didn't love your child. You would have a heart of stone. To be able to love the Lord so much to do what he asks, but to be able to do that to your child is a contradiction in terms. Sometimes, your heart wins over obedience, thats the way we were made. Id rather have more love in me than blind obedience. Well, i know I do lol

[Gun Control]

My answer: It is not THE answer, but it is an answer. Other countries are getting it right. In England I believe it's even illegal for the police officers to carry guns. Canada is similar. I watched "Bowling for Colombine" a few years ago. Yes, I know it's rated R, and I've repented for it already.

Ive been watching this news story on the shootings in Virginia along with the rest of the country with interest. As you say the_jason, we have it right somewhat. Policemen dont carry guns generally. However, in rough parts of the country (i.e where I live) they wear bullet proof vests as guns are very much around. You hear of shootings in London and Manchester sometimes. However, nothing of mass shootings on this scale. The police do sometimes carry these massive black machine gun type looking things lol at airports or in the town when theres a football match on. Other than that, they dont carry. We still use police horses over here though. I think that's cool lol. Its interesting to compare the differences between countries. I used to think we were fairly similar to the U.S. Since I've joined this site Ive realised our cultures are totally different-even the church.

By the way the_jason-an 'R' rated film- Can the Lord ever forgive you????!!!!

[Polygamy Predictions.]

Polygamy ideally only occurs with the consent of the current wife/wives.

What's with all the hysteria in this thread about how evil or wrong or hard polygamy was/would be? It's a celestial principle we aren't currently living. You don't have to have more than one wife to inherit the Celestial Kingdom, but polygamy is nonetheless a celestial principle.

You can't be celestial while clinging to the telestial. Period

.

I would NEVER give my consent. My husband and I have talked about this and he hates the idea even more than I do. We would never live it, celestial law or not. Hopefully, we would not be considered righteous enough to do it lol. JCDean78, I have the same opinion as you. We've discussed what to do if the other dies at a young age. I want my organs donated, he doesnt, but neither of us will ever get married to anyone else. Even if he died tomorrow I would never ever marry again. I could never love anyone like I love him. I would live so I could see him again one day. I really have a hard time with polygamy and hate it when people bring it up who aren't church members. Its an embarrassment as far as Im concerned. I understand why we had it, but that doesnt mean I have to like it!

I doubt that the English government would ever legalise it anyway. Anything remotely religious (unless its Islam of course) is viewed suspiciously and mocked. Tony Blair once made a comment that he prayed. It was all over the papers, the news, interviews-he had to retract the statement, he said, well of course I dont mean literally, just in my heart or something like that. And the nation breathed a sigh of relief. Thats the way it is over here.

Gay marriages, or 'civil partnerships' were made legal here last December. Gays can adopt. Its all ok. Anything religious, isnt. I dont have a problem with gay people as such, obviously it is wrong, but we need to show love to all as the Saviour would. I have a few gay friends. I do not believe in gay adoption or marriage though. It makes a mockery of the sanctity and unity of marriage and ruins kids who need a male and female role model.

[Callings]

Not so. Some calling are only to fill a spot. If you don't believe me look at some ppl who have many callings.... Revelation...or desperation?

I have to agree with you Strawb. Our ward is very smnd Ive sat with my primary president on a number of occoasions, going through people in the ward to see who is actually available to be a teacher-once there was literally one person who could do it. So they were called. Im sure she must have prayed on it but its hardly revelation, just common sense really-them or no one lol. I have to admit to seeing some 'suspicious' callings I'm sure people know what I mean. People higher up calling their friends etc into callings that make you think, 'uh-huh,'. Plus the fact all my newly married friends have been called into primary after marriage-every single one with no exceptions, almost as a 'trial-run' before you have kids. That annoys me a bit, just because Im young and will one day be a new mother doesnt mean I

Not so. Some calling are only to fill a spot. If you don't believe me look at some ppl who have many callings.... Revelation...or desperation?

I have to agree with you Strawb. Our ward is very small and Ive sat with my primary president on a number of occasions, going through people in the ward to see who is actually available to be a teacher-once there was literally one person who could do it. So they were called. Im sure she must have prayed on it but its hardly revelation, just common sense really-them or no one lol. I have to admit to seeing some 'suspicious' callings I'm sure people know what I mean. People higher up calling their friends etc into callings that make you think, 'uh-huh,'. Plus the fact all my newly married friends have been called into primary after marriage-every single one with no exceptions, almost as a 'trial-run' before you have kids. That annoys me a bit, just because Im young and will one day be a new mother doesnt mean I love or want to be thrown in with a load of kids! If anything, its made me want to wait even longer lol. I'm not a kid person.

One of the primary teachers just asked to be released as she was sick of being in primary. My husband said if you do that, you aren't given another calling for a while. However, she was just callled as a RS teacher. He just shrugged. I suppose the bottom line is the Lord knows you and whats best for you.

[What Goes Around...]

blessed its so horrible to be ill. I am the worlds worst when I am ill, they always say nurses make the worst patients-its true! I agree with SF-once I could feel myself getting ill when I physically could not get ill! I told myself, right, body, I am going to ignore you and how you may be making me feel, and carry on with life as normal. I felt ill for maybe 24 hours, and i held off the cold. Mind over matter, simply. The mind is an amazing thing of power when it comes to illness. I will pray for you tho lol

[Callings]

I'm also the 11 year old Blazer Scouts Co-leader.

Canuck, Im confused by this. Scouts? Thats not a calling surely?

After I get married, me and my wife are going to lie low (at least try) for a few months until we get settled.

sixpacktr Posted

good luck with that! They had my calling lined up before we were even married and before I was in the ward!!!!

[Callings]

I'm just wondering what callings we all have in our wards. I am second counsellor in primary and also music director for the ward.

[Weather]

I dont know if anybody else is having unseasonally hot weather but we are roasting over here at the moment. Its been 23/24 degrees over here since the beginning of the month. All the spring flowers are out a month early and people are actually sunbathing! Im loving it. It feels like its summer already!! Average temps for this time of year are about 15/16 degrees. Bout time we had some nice weather here in blighty!!!

[Homeschooling]

I am intrigued by this idea. This is definitely an American thing, we dont 'homeschool' over here. I dont think it could benefit a child as much educationally as attending school can. I went to a fantastic school and my parents could never in a million years have taught me to the standard I was. Plus, there are national set exams, so you have to follow a strict curriculum and are assessed along the way. I have seen a lot of homeschooled missionaries-we had one such individual from Utah who was homeschooled. He was so naive bless him, coming to england was a huge shock for him. He thought it was all little cottages and afternoon tea. In the course of knowing him we learnt that he did not realise England was an island! He thought it was joined to the rest of europe! I was absolutely staggered by this having been introduced to a map of the world before I could even read. His knowledge was probably as basic as a primary school child, we spent DAs teaching him things because he knew so little. He didnt know the capitals of many obvious countries in the world, had never heard of a few well known historical figures in my opinion. He knew all the American presidents and that was probably the biggest thing he knew. We have had many similar elders all homeschooled from Utah.

So, my question is to those of you who homeschool-why? Why not send them to a proper educational institution where the people are trained and specifically qualified to teach in a particluar subject? Id be interested to know the answer to this because personally I cant see any benefits-No social interaction with other children, team work or learning confidence and independance in a new environment can only hinder a childs progress surely? I'm not trying to be argumentative I just cant see why anybody would choose this route. look forward to your answers!

[History Lovers?]

I absolutely adore history. I'd go as far as to say Im a bit obsessed with it. All my family and friends know me for this. My 'special' areas are tudor England and Victorian/Edwardian times. Im also really into greek mythology and classical history. If i hadnt done nursing i would have done a history degree and been in heaven! My family and I went to Windsor castle the other day and I could tell my family who the paintings were of by sight as Ive studied them relentlessly. (I read history books for pure pleasure and my sister calls me a freak lol). I was dead chuffed with myself being able to say, 'That's William of Orange, oh and thats queen Mary his wife he married when she was 9' lol. If I ever had a wish, i would go back in time to an era of my choice for one day to see what it was like. I have no idea why I love it so much. I just feel really connected with the people and I am just fascinated. Im always dragging my husband round museums and palaces while hed rather be at a theme park lol. So I have no idea where my love/stroke obsession comes from but Im glad I have it!

[New]

mamacat I am so sorry for the way you have been treated. Reading your story made my blood boil. How dare these supposed christians treat you this way? Ben is right though, this is not typical of the church as a whole in my opinion. This is my advice to you:

I would seek out and speak to your stake president or one of his counsellors about your experience with the Bishop. He is totally and utterly out of line. I'm disgusted by his behaviour. But if the 'highest' person in the ward is giving you no support, go to the Stake. Those primary leaders should not be allowed to call themselves christians with a pathetic attitude like that. Ooh Im so angry!

Second, I would, in this case perhaps, seriously consider attending another ward. I know you have switched once already, but maybe you need to go to one in a completely different building, away from this one and all to do with it. Sometimes its necessary. When my parents were divorced my Dad still lived in the same town but did not feel he could attend the same close knit ward as My Mum, that we had attended our whole lives. So he went to the one in the next town even tho he didnt live in the ward boundaries. He was welcomed with open arms and also met his now wife. The stake president attends that ward and was more than happy to authorise my Dad to be there. He's now the YM pres. So I'm sure a similar situation could work for you.

Have you thought about why the members are treating you this way? From what you've said, it seems quite likely that the members have heard things about you that are not true and are shunning you because of it-i.e, having lots of promiscuous relationships with men???? Just a guess but I would ask the people you have been having problems with outright what their problem is with you and try to get to the bottom of it for your own sanity by the sounds of it.

It does ###### when members act little better than children in some situations. My now ward split 10 years ago and for some unknown stupid reason the ward who now dont meet in our building 'hate' the Luton ward. We are always hearing about how the dunstable ward cant stand the Luton ward, even tho they used to be a part of it. It could be because they then had to meet in a school until they had their own building built. Silly and petty, but true.

When I went to uni I started attending the ward there. They also had 2 wards that met in the same building. I asked one of the bishops which ward I was in-he didnt know, neither did the other one. They never really bothered to find out so I eventually just picked one. I recieved no support whatsoever. I sat alone in sacrament meeting as I didnt know anyone. No one bothered to find out who I was or even say hello. I was a member, but I was new to the ward and still needed support. Then one of the YSA girls started giving me dirty looks and whispering and laughing in front of me like a 5 year old. She then started spreading rumours about me to all the girls in both wards. (Turns out she thought I was after a bloke she was interested in. I wasnt, but he eventually befriended me and was the only friend I had in those 2 years there). I repeatedly asked for home and visiting teachers and never got any in 2 years. Then, a year in to my stay the bishop called me in to his office and said I was attending the wrong ward-theyd only just bothered to look at my address and realised. I refused to move, saying I had repeatedly asked this in the beginning to make sure it didnt happen. In the end, I started going home to my home ward at weekends as I hated the ward so much. I tell ya, I can understand why some people go inactive even if they know the church is true because of the horrible sunday experiences.

mamacat, you have had a rough start. Stay true to the gospel-it is still true and will bring you so much happiness. Pray for guidance on what to do. Speak to the stake. The gospel is perfect-unfortunately, the members are not.

[Friday The 13th]

I'm so accident prone and bad-luck prone that I dont worry whether its Friday the 13th or not-Its every single day of the year I worry about!!! In 6 weeks alone during one year, I had a car accident, my brother broke his leg, my husband was admitted to hospital with severe glandular fever, my Mum fell down some stairs and smashed her wrist to bits also ending up in hospital 4 days after my Dad was released from a burst appendix! 2 weeks later he had a car crash. I was working, visiting my Mum, going home to check up on my Dad and my brother, then driving to another hospital where my husband was (I was still black and blue from my car accident!) I thought it was quite funny-I didnt like my family suffering, but I thought, this is so ridiculous its unbelievable. If I didnt laugh Id cry! It worked out as something every 10 days or something for over a month! Its fitting that I started it off tho-the story of my life. My family still joke about it. I dont think any of them were friday the 13th tho. lol.

[Birth Control]

President Kimbal was asked by his daughter after several children and a very difficult birth in the hospital, "Dad is this enough?" He told her that it was between her, her husband and the Lord, no one else.

President Kimball is right. Thats what we are taught as members, not to have as many as you can. His daughters attitude is the type I cant stand. If she was stupid enough to just have one after the other without thinking about her health or otherwise and then had a difficult birth, or her health suffered then she only has herself to blame.

I agree with you that it is between you, your husband, and God. If you three are confident with your decision, that's all that matters. It is no business of any posters here.

Exactly. That's what our stake president told us before we got married. He said members will try to tell you otherwise, but its upto them, its your decision. Anyway, my husband and I prayed about whther it was right to have a child for weeks and weeks. Id already applied to uni by then but if the answer was kids then I would not have gone as I wont ignore the spirit no matter what I think. During the week I recieved a letter inviting me to an interview for the course. I felt this warm glow from the top of my head right down to my toes and this huge smile crept over my face. I knew I had my answer. Go to uni. I told my husband and he said he wasn't really feeling anything about having kids. He said he didnt feel it was the right time. So, I will go to uni in september and I can hardly wait. So, if I'm to go to uni I need to delay my family which means using birth control. The Lord would knows that, so he obviously doesnt mind, so I dont understand members who say 'it's wrong' or 'shouldnt be used'. That is their opinion, and even so having such a narrow minded attitude will rub off on your kids and get them no where. We need to be open minded in the church to be able to accept everybody if we are to be the good christian people we are.

If the Lord says its ok, its good enough for me. It might be no to someone else, like you jason, but everybody is different, and everbody has different circumstances. For that reason you cant tar everybody with the same rule. Thats like somebody saying, 'you shouldnt wear red' and going around telling all the members they shouldnt be doing it, and if you wear red you are WRONG. Its not about right and wrong. Its about personal choice, thats why I feel so strongly about this subject-It annoys me when members try to pass off thier own interpretations and opinions as what we all should be doing. Its not right.

Thanks for your input shanstress. You obviously have been guided into what is best for you. Good luck with your family life.