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LadyHanley93's Achievements

  1. Does anyone here believe that we have a rape culture in the Mormon Church? Slut shaming? Victim blaming? I am very scared to read all these horrific things happen to women and then have to repent. I forgive my abuser however this is not an act of God that perhaps god planned this in my life. It's called Free agency and Every human being has the right to use it for the good or evil in this world.
  2. I was actually asked to read this book by my leaders since I was abused as a child. I understand it is a isolated quote but how do you think that makes me feel? It makes me feel as if I am not worthy enough for a husband. What happened to me was simply not my fault. Is it just me or does anyone else find this book to be psychologically damaging?
  3. Spencer Kimball taught this idea in his book the Miracle Of Forgiveness about vicitms of rape. Is this what we are teaching our children about sexual violence? Doesn't this seem like a contradiction? “Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation when there is no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one's virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.” - Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, LDS Prophet, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 196
  4. Seems like the common sense thing to do. However, I am not sure why our ward all of this sudden has felt the need to regress into this mode. We have some people who have been offended and when the offender or offenders apologize and they don't accept their apology they take it as a betrayal. I can think of numerous people doing this in our ward. It creates division and people are forced to take sides. With every YSA Ward comes drama but this is just plain ridiculous. We are all adults and I wish we could just be adults and not teenagers in high school.
  5. So in my Ward their is a lot of Gossip going on in our ward. With the recent switch in Bishopric it seems the ward just went from being somewhat unified to completely spilt and disconnected. I am on the welcoming committee and my co chair wants to do something about it. I have no idea how to approach this. I can walk down the hallways during Sunday school and Relief Society/Elders Quarom classes and hear people gossip. We are all guilty of gossiping in our YSA Ward! However when I hear these things I don't repeat them and I dimiss them because aren't true. I don't have time to take notes on who said what. How does one approach this in an appropriate way?
  6. I don't think my friend is being selfish. It's not my businesses to judge their marriage and the things that happen in the marriage. My friend moved to the other side of the country and feels alone. I just listen to her vent is all.
  7. I broke up with the guy about a month ago see my post under relationships and marriage.
  8. I wouldn't reccomend someone with porn addiction one of my ward members ended up marrying another ward member who was and still a porn addict and they have been married for about six months needless to say the wife calls me a lot because I was her former visiting teacher and we became friends. She found out a few weeks into the marriage hey were civilly married and supposed to be sealed in six months next march that is not going to happen because she finds him looking at pornography and they both go their bishop and he says he will change but it never changes.
  9. They are interested in setting me up withnone particular guy that has had a crush on me for six months. Not that I am not flattered just not ready to date.
  10. I understand they care but I am just not ready to date again at this very moment! I am not even ready to talk about it. My hometeacher who is a couple of years older than me calls or texts me almost everyday to ask me if I am okay. I tell him I am alright I work 32 hours a week at a job and go to school full time at a local community college. I will do anything to get more bours at work to keep my mind off this ugly breakup. So when my boss calls me in to come in on a day I usually don't work I say yes. I will even work Sunday nights and then go to school Monday morning. The truth is when I sit in sacermet meeting at my ysa ward I want to cry because I feel as if I am never going to find someone who will love me enough to love and accept me to take me to the temple.
  11. It's for those who have moved into the area and have no idea where to find things! I have had that happen to me where I moved into a new ward and knew nothing about the area!
  12. I realize that the grieving process is very difficult and it seems like forever. It seems to get better I don't think about Gavin as much as I used to,but this past month has been very painful and long. I wish this season of grieving would be over. I wish that I could say yes to dates and move on with my life already.
  13. Char I am very sorry to here of this. I am not sure what your situation is like if you are married, not married, have kids, or no kids. I am in a ysa ward and a few people have said some pretty nasty things about me behind my back and this made me feel unwelcomed. So for about a month I decided to attend another ward with a friend from another college as a visitor it helped me take sometime to reflect on how I felt. Well it turns out my bishop, home teacher, and visiting teachers called me and asked me what was going on with me. I simply told them I was taking a break from the ward and attending another ward. I told my bishop if he wishes to do so he could speak with the bishop of the ward I was attending if he didn't believe I was going to church. After a month I decided to come back to my ward. I don't blame the church I was mad at two members in particular and was able to let it go and move on with life. I realized these rumors where not true and people will talk bad about you and make uncalled comments. Believe me it stings and hurts. However, I do believe that taking a break from your ward and attending another one as a visitor will help you. When I got back their where new faces in the ward that I made friends with.