LadyHanley93

Does anyone here believe that we have a rape culture in the Mormon Church? Slut shaming? Victim blaming? I am very scared to read all these horrific things happen to women and then have to repent. I forgive my abuser however this is not an act of God that perhaps god planned this in my life. It's called Free agency and Every human being has the right to use it for the good or evil in this world.

I was actually asked to read this book by my leaders since I was abused as a child. I understand it is a isolated quote but how do you think that makes me feel? It makes me feel as if I am not worthy enough for a husband. What happened to me was simply not my fault. Is it just me or does anyone else find this book to be psychologically damaging?

Spencer Kimball taught this idea in his book the Miracle Of Forgiveness about vicitms of rape. Is this what we are teaching our children about sexual violence? Doesn't this seem like a contradiction? “Also far-reaching is the effect of loss of chastity. Once given or taken or stolen it can never be regained. Even in a forced contact such as rape or incest, the injured one is greatly outraged. If she has not cooperated and contributed to the foul deed, she is of course in a more favorable position. There is no condemnation when there is no voluntary participation. It is better to die in defending one's virtue than to live having lost it without a struggle.” - Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, LDS Prophet, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 196

I wasn't even born yet

It's a mix of both Men and Women.

Seems like the common sense thing to do. However, I am not sure why our ward all of this sudden has felt the need to regress into this mode. We have some people who have been offended and when the offender or offenders apologize and they don't accept their apology they take it as a betrayal. I can think of numerous people doing this in our ward. It creates division and people are forced to take sides. With every YSA Ward comes drama but this is just plain ridiculous. We are all adults and I wish we could just be adults and not teenagers in high school.

So in my Ward their is a lot of Gossip going on in our ward. With the recent switch in Bishopric it seems the ward just went from being somewhat unified to completely spilt and disconnected. I am on the welcoming committee and my co chair wants to do something about it. I have no idea how to approach this. I can walk down the hallways during Sunday school and Relief Society/Elders Quarom classes and hear people gossip. We are all guilty of gossiping in our YSA Ward! However when I hear these things I don't repeat them and I dimiss them because aren't true. I don't have time to take notes on who said what. How does one approach this in an appropriate way?

I don't think my friend is being selfish. It's not my businesses to judge their marriage and the things that happen in the marriage. My friend moved to the other side of the country and feels alone. I just listen to her vent is all.

I broke up with the guy about a month ago see my post under relationships and marriage.

I wouldn't reccomend someone with porn addiction one of my ward members ended up marrying another ward member who was and still a porn addict and they have been married for about six months needless to say the wife calls me a lot because I was her former visiting teacher and we became friends. She found out a few weeks into the marriage hey were civilly married and supposed to be sealed in six months next march that is not going to happen because she finds him looking at pornography and they both go their bishop and he says he will change but it never changes.

They are interested in setting me up withnone particular guy that has had a crush on me for six months. Not that I am not flattered just not ready to date.

I understand they care but I am just not ready to date again at this very moment! I am not even ready to talk about it. My hometeacher who is a couple of years older than me calls or texts me almost everyday to ask me if I am okay. I tell him I am alright I work 32 hours a week at a job and go to school full time at a local community college. I will do anything to get more bours at work to keep my mind off this ugly breakup. So when my boss calls me in to come in on a day I usually don't work I say yes. I will even work Sunday nights and then go to school Monday morning. The truth is when I sit in sacermet meeting at my ysa ward I want to cry because I feel as if I am never going to find someone who will love me enough to love and accept me to take me to the temple.

It's for those who have moved into the area and have no idea where to find things! I have had that happen to me where I moved into a new ward and knew nothing about the area!

I realize that the grieving process is very difficult and it seems like forever. It seems to get better I don't think about Gavin as much as I used to,but this past month has been very painful and long. I wish this season of grieving would be over. I wish that I could say yes to dates and move on with my life already.

Char I am very sorry to here of this. I am not sure what your situation is like if you are married, not married, have kids, or no kids. I am in a ysa ward and a few people have said some pretty nasty things about me behind my back and this made me feel unwelcomed. So for about a month I decided to attend another ward with a friend from another college as a visitor it helped me take sometime to reflect on how I felt. Well it turns out my bishop, home teacher, and visiting teachers called me and asked me what was going on with me. I simply told them I was taking a break from the ward and attending another ward. I told my bishop if he wishes to do so he could speak with the bishop of the ward I was attending if he didn't believe I was going to church. After a month I decided to come back to my ward. I don't blame the church I was mad at two members in particular and was able to let it go and move on with life. I realized these rumors where not true and people will talk bad about you and make uncalled comments. Believe me it stings and hurts. However, I do believe that taking a break from your ward and attending another one as a visitor will help you. When I got back their where new faces in the ward that I made friends with.

Perhaps I could tape a small piece of wrapped chocolates such as Hershey kisses to the packets. Very neat way to make it unique :)

I dated a long time friend who was an lds member as well. We were on and off for about ten months dating. We where supposed to get married next Saturday but I broke it off with him about a month ago. He was abusive but somehow managed to smooth talk his way back into my life. With the help and support of my bishop, hometeacher, one of my former hometeachers, and my visting teachers they helped me leave the relationship. Shortly after me and Gavin broke up he moved across the country and we don't talk anymore. I grieve over our ten year friendship and our short lived romance. I know it was unhealthy so I got out however I miss our friendship. I realize that I need time to heal from our abusive relationship which I have sought counselling for myself. I will admit their are days when I am sad. Their are days when I am glad that I broke up with him because I am no longer walking on eggshells. When my fellow ward members approach me for group dates I always politely say no thank you I am not looking to date at this time but I appreciate you thinking of me. I don't feel like I have to explain to them. I don't get mad at them because they dont know what happened. I miss the ten year friendship we had but most of all the memories we made together and that we no longer have the opportunity to make new ones. I miss my best friend. But my best friend is unhealthy for me and it's time for me to be healthy without him in my life.I guess my question is their a wrong to grieve over a relationship as I am taking the time to process all this?

I am so sorry to hear. May I suggest Carry On Hymn number 255 and Let Us All Press On hymnn number 243. Sorry I am not really good with hymms but I am trying to help.

I am on the welcoming committee at a ysa ward and I was thinking of putting a welcome packet together for new ward members of where the nearest temples are, numbers of the bishopric, high counselors, Desert industry for the new members of our ward and showing a sample to my Bishop. Do you have any other suggestions of what I could add to this packet???????

I have to agree with this lovely lady here :) You can't pressure an inactive member to come back to church. I have a former visting teacher who is a convert of five years I really admire her and haven't seen her in months. Although I think something is up with her.I simply just texted her if you need anyone to talk to or need help please call me. That way the door is open for communication. Unfortunately she hasn't responded to my texts. As heartbreaking as that is for me I realize she has to reach out to others.

I have seen strong members in my ward go inactive because of Hurt feelings, Gossip and Humiliation, Not feeling welcomed, Poltical differences, Losing their testimony, and some have lost their faith in the church. And I am in a YSA ward! It's very different a lot of our converts tend to go inactive within the first year. I was baptized last year and of all six of us only two of us are active within the ward.

I was recently called to be a welcoming committee member and I have a blast on this committee as one of my good friends is on the committee as well. I do a lot of texting to promote the linger longers we have in my YSA ward. However, I am starting to see the dysfunction of our welcoming committee. Their are 15 welcoming committee members and yesterday only four of us showed up to help and two other members that are not apart of our committee helped us as well. We have over 200 members in our ward and so this is not an easy task. I texted all of our other committee members to please show up at noon to set up. I am not really sure how to explain this but one of co chairs is always on top of things she is amazing! well call her Kat! And our other co chair I am not sure what planet he is on but he is rarely available to talk to even on the phone about linger longers. Lets call him John. I notice a lot of the work falls on Kat and I tell her I am more than willing to help her with anything she needs. A lot of our committee members are inactive and some just ignore our texts. Yesterday my friend told me that Kat got a lot of complaints that I was texting inactive people. I thought it was because I texted my former visiting teaching who is inactive. I don't just go on LDS tools and look up numbers to text these are numbers I have in my phone! I texted Kat and she told me it was people who where leaving for school or moving out of the ward on our committee and I didn't realize this and only one person told me that she was leaving for school. Their names are off the committee member list and I won't be texting them anymore. She assured me I didn't do anything wrong and that she appreciates and is grateful for my help. Now keep in mind I don't manage everyone schedules. I see the dysfunction in our committee and I see Kat who works so hard for these events frustrated and stressed. I realize you cannot force people to do their callings. However, I take my calling seriously as I was a convert in the ward and the welcoming committee stepped up to make me feel welcomed and felt like a apart of the family. Do you think it would be wrong of me to ask our Bishop to release those who refuse to participate in our committee?

I found out today that Sister V is from Portugal! I am going to purchase a hymn book that is in Portuguese and invite the sisters over for a Portuguese meal. Gotta start searching for some recipes. I do not know of any Portugal communities. I know we have a huge Brazilian community their Portuguese might be a different from the Portuguese spoken in Portugal.