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alilc

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Posts posted by alilc

  1. LDS dating app, "Mutual"

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    This isn't really about relationships but my friend and I got this app for fun. I've matched with a lot of guys but me being the shy girl around guys, I am SO nervous to say yes if they ask me on a date or to hang out. I am a super outgoing person, like really, but I've only been on one 1-on-1 date and it was horrible. Anyways, I just need advice on not being shy around guys. Thats the only thing holding me back. I am chill around my guy friends, but if it is an attractive guy, I flip. I'm not sure why I am posting this on here but I need some sort of advice. Help? I am not necessarily looking for a serious relationship but more of dates because I am new to Utah. Thanks y'all! <3

  2. How long is too long to like someone who does not feel the same way?

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    I've liked this one guy for 5 years, but he moved two years ago. We kept in contact. There's a chance we could end up together; but even if we don't, it's okay cause he's such a great friend. I get to see him in a month. And I'll probably cry because of happiness and disbelief but since he doesn't feel the same I don't want to look dumb. Any suggestions on what I should do?(I have no clue what's going to happen)

  3. Part 3 of my : Liking a missionary who recently got home

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    Welllll update: he texted me! And we've texted but not in depth at all. I actually have to keep the convo going cause he just gives one word replies, so, I'm honestly at the point where I want to give up on it. But I feel like I wasted those two years emailing him. I knew it would be different when he came home, but not this different. I bet He doesn't even want to meet up. I just want to give up on the whole thing. I feel dumb for being so invested in this situation it's just I reallllly care about him and I'm not sure about throwing it all away. But he really is putting in no effort so. :( I need advice, again. Thanks y'all are the best.

  4. Continuation of my last post---He's HOME.

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    Well, I totally understand that you need to give missionaries some time after they get home to adjust to normal life again. Its been close to a week and he posts on Instagram, but won't reply to my Instagram DM (direct message). My mutual "friend" (i use the finger air quotes because I do not think she has the best intentions of being my friend. She wants to tear him an I apart as friends)  with him and I were talking and she said "Oh yeah, we've been messaging but he is taking it slow." And I totally get that, but then she said "Maybe you should just forget him." She literally said I should forget I ever knew him. I have emailed this guy for 2 years and known him for an additional year before the mission (Though we have not met) I can't forget him because he has helped me through SOOOO much. I have been overthinking and now I am under the impression he does not want to talk to me ever again. I know this isn't a big deal, but I guess my mind is going crazy because I know my message is in his inbox, but he is not replying, but Is to others. Any comfort or advice? I have prayed for help to just distract myself and not think about it, but, It is not working so well. 

  9. Liking a Missionary (almost RM)

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    5 minutes ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

    Nothing wrong these days with the girl making the first move.  Might be a good to test to see how he would react to something like that too.  Chances are as a fresh RM he is attracting other female attention so you might not want to wait.

    You are however 17, so your dating should follow youth rules, not YSA rules.  When/if you date, make it a double date with another couple.  I met my wife when she had just turned 15 and I was 17.  We didn't date at first, we met at church dances and youth activities.  When she turned 16 I was 18 and we double dated.  We didn't date one on one until after we were both YSA age.

    We were also a long distance relationship.  At first we were in neighboring Stakes and lived about 100 miles apart, right after we had our first date her family moved 1000 miles away, then I went on my mission the year after that and was 3000 miles away.  Her family moved again the same time I finished my mission so then we were a 6 hour drive apart from each other.  It wasn't until after we were engaged that we managed to live in the same city.  We still have all the letters we wrote each other, and I think we got to know each other in ways we wouldn't have if we lived close to each other the whole time, but don't assume that is the case for you. 

    Don't lose your head, keep your eyes open.  It is easy to idealize somebody you haven't spend much time with and project onto them what you want them to be.  We don't often expose our flaws and our negatives in the letters we write, we put our best self forward so while you might know lots about each other, there is also a lot you still don't know about each other.  Take your time, get to really know each other.  What is he like when he is angry, frustrated, hurt?  How does he react when provoked?  Things like that don't make it into letters.  Given your age, you have lots of time.

    Can you Private message me somehow? Id like to talk about this more.

     

  11. Liking a Missionary (almost RM)

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

    You said that you're separated by 6,000 miles.  Is he in Alaska or Hawaii?  Or is he in another country?

    The reason that is important is that a different country will have a different age of majority (age where you're considered legally an adult) and ages where parental consent has different conditions.

    He was in Texas before he left and I'm in Germany. But I move to Utah in less than a month and he is moving to Idaho 

  15. Liking a Missionary (almost RM)

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

    What do you mean? "What do I do?"  You're really making this more difficult than it needs to be.  The mission and all the history are superfluous.  Ignore everything else.  It simply boils down to 

    There's a boy asking you out on a date.  You have a 6,000 mile barrier between the two of you.  If you're willing and able, overcome that barrier and go out.  If you're not willing/able, don't go out with him.

    True. true. I'll see him next month. I just want to be friends with him right now but I'm just confused on how to act. 

  16. Liking a Missionary (almost RM)

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    I will try to keep this as condensed as possible. I am 17 right now about to graduate High School. 3 years ago, my EFY counselor told me about a young man she had the year previous at EFY and she told him to start messaging me, and so he did. We lived about 6,000 miles apart, across an ocean, but we really hit it off. We became best friends like that, and then we had some feelings for each other. Important: We have never met.....Fast forward a few months, he got his mission call and left in June of 2015. We email every Monday the whole 2 years. At first, he was super flirty and then it faded which I was totally okay with because the Gospel is the focus of his mission, not some girl. He is always so encouraging! So, he comes home tomorrow. I will not see him until the end of June but in his emails he tells me that he want's to see me, and go on dates. My question is; Do I just wait for him to message me or call me when hes ready? (Since he will be in RM mode) I was not going to message him until he did first, but I'm afraid he wont. I don't know, I would just really like advice on what to do. He is one of my best friends but I still have feelings there..... What to do?? I just am not sure how to feel. I AM SO EXCITED, but like, is he going to talk to me still? I didn't even email my brother that much on his mission....He is so special to me. They were the best two years of his life, and the best two of mine because of him, He strengthens my testimony every day. He is the reason I am so strong in the church because I was not before. Any advice?