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Mordo_Rigby

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  4. How long have you all personally dated someone before making it official?

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted · Edited by Mordo_Rigby

    5 hours ago, BeccaKirstyn said:

    Good luck! 

    Thank you!  I figured I'd give you an update.  I had another date with her today and I told her basically what you suggested more or less.  I said something along the lines of "I've really enjoyed going on dates with you and I really like you.  Would you like to continue dating and see where this goes?"  And she said that she would love to if I do.  So, that's a pretty good sign! =)

  5. How long have you all personally dated someone before making it official?

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    Just now, BeccaKirstyn said:

    Yeah I get it. Been there, done that. In that case there's no harm in putting your honest thoughts out there. Maybe preface it with saying that you just want to see if you guys are on the same page. We are so afraid to say these things for fear of the other person running away, but if they can't hear and acknowledge someone saying "I like you, I want to get to know you better", then they're not ready to date and not worth your time. In my opinion.

    All great points. Thank you. I think I will do something like this then, just so I can attempt know what's going on inside her head. 

  8. How long have you all personally dated someone before making it official?

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted · Edited by Mordo_Rigby

    31 minutes ago, BeccaKirstyn said:

    Okay. I get that. I would, as you said, just casually say "I'm enjoying going out with you and getting to know you more. I'd like to keep doing that if you would." And see how she responds. If you feel like that conversation allows you to, you can tell her how you feel about her. But honestly I think you guys just need to have the conversation of "I want to date you to see if I wanna date you". You know what I mean? Our generation (cause I'm assuming we're close in age) is so weird about dating now, especially with meeting people through Mutual. It makes it a little difficult to date "naturally". But there's nothing wrong with telling her how you feel, if you guys can get to the conversation of "I like going on dates with you, I want to get to know you better". 

    Thank you for the advice. This is, I think, a very good place to start. I definitely don't want to jump the gun and chase her away, but I also don't want to be taking her on dates only to find out later on that she isn't interested in me romantically. I took a girl on a bunch dates once and we started holding hands and junk, and finally after like ten dates she just up and says that she isn't, and was never, interested in me romantically. I just want to know what page she's on so something similar doesn't happen this time.

  10. How long have you all personally dated someone before making it official?

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    1 minute ago, Carborendum said:

    I guess I'm confused by what you mean by "official".  I had originally thought you meant "how long did you date before you got engaged, officially?"  But are you just asking "how many dates before you considered yourself a "couple"?

    Three.  Three shall be the number of the counting.  And the number of the counting shall be three --  no more, no less.  Four, shalt thou not count, nor either shalt thou count two... excepting that thou then proceed to three.  Five is right out.

    After thou has counted to three then shalt thou fish or cut bait and find out whether you're onward to eternal bliss or being snuffed out like the cockroach you are.

    KIDDING!  

    There is no number or time limit.  You just have to feel it out.  The matching up of the timing between the two individuals is part of the matching process.  It has to be something you both feel.

    Haha! Loved the Monty Python reference! Yeah, what I really am trying to figure out is the point at which it goes from just going on dates to dating as a couple. I've had relationships in the past, but none have been from an online/Mutual app dating kind of origin until now. I've always known past girlfriends as a friend long before I even started dating them, which I feel made things flow a bit easier. In the case of Tinder/Mutual, chances are your first date is your first time meeting them. On the other hand, you've already matched with each other on a dating app, which means you both mutually found each other attractive. I just don't know.

  11. How long have you all personally dated someone before making it official?

    in Marriage and Relationship Advice

    Posted

    Or at least asking what the other person wants from dating. I'm an RM and I've gone on several dates with a girl I met on Mutual(the app). I looked for advice elsewhere, but the non LDS world has answers that most often involve having sex before making a relationship official, which obviously I'm looking to have a relationship worthy of temple marriage, so I figured I'd ask here. Also, when you do bring it up, how have you done so in a way that doesn't send the other person running from awkwardness? Thanks!