Dani

Years before I converted, I wished the Church were true. The Mormons I knew seemed to love their Church, and the doctrine seemed so amazing, but it was just instinctively not an option because of where and how I was raised (until I was old enough to have a mind of my own). I said once before I started considering the Church that if I were an atheist, came to the conclusion that God didn't exist, I would still like to be a Mormon because of the cultural aspect, but because I believed God and Christ existed and were real, I couldn't be in a Church that was so wrong. That was the mindset I was in when I left. It sounds screwed up, I know, but I've come to realize after a couple friends who were in my YSA branch at college when I first joined later confessed that they weren't sure they believed, I'm not alone. It's just coming from a black/white thinking in my previous fundamentalist church, it's hard to think that if it's working in drawing me closer to Christ, even if I don't agree or understand. But I think that sentiment is so important now. Thank you for your input!

Nice to hear from you! It's hard for me to trust the emotions and feelings- before my conversion to Christ (years before I became a Mormon), I was a very cynical atheist, and that still catches up with me from time to time. God has basically had to smack me over the head, as I said in my op. I'm trying to get over that, but being human sucks sometimes. I think when the Spirit speaks to me, it seems to be a very strong feeling, like an instinct almost or a very big relief. My family was Catholic basically until my generation. My grandpa never converted from his Baptist faith, but my mom and her siblings were raised in the Catholic Church. She raised my brother and I without religion so we would be "seekers," but after I left my previous church, I was left with two options: join the LDS Church like I'd thought, or become a Catholic. After realizing problems with most of the major denominations and their lack of authority, I began to think that there are really only two options. I had a friend who converted to Eastern Orthodoxy around the same time I became Mormon, and it seemed that even between the Catholic and the Orthodox, their authority claims were muddled at best! I appreciate the post. Having some pretty deep doubts was painful, because if God is the loving God I know He has to be, then the LDS Plan of Salvation is the only way that that is fulfilled. I let myself think maybe he was the horrible, vengeful God some churches teach, but that's not an easy way to live when you see the flawed but well meaning people around you, you know? It definitely does help, thank you very much! Because of my family's strong background in Catholicism, it's nice to hear from a former Roman Catholic!

I admit I may have been thinking about it the wrong way- looking at things as if I must figure everything out versus seeing the work of God in people's lives, including mine. But I have to say I've never felt better about spiritual experiences, felt more able to follow Christ, than through things that have happened being LDS. Seeing the fruit of the Church is hard to deny, I think. How could a church be so wrong yet enable people to do so much right? I'll have to try that, considering starting from the other angle didn't work before. XD It does make more sense to do that. Thank you, Wade!

I've always loved the Book of Mormon, and the hoax stories seemed weird considering how outlandish they were. But coming from a fundamentalist world where Mormons were evil as well as their Church, and the Bible was all we had, it was hard to shake those instincts even after I joined. And I didn't want to be naive just because of how I felt about the Book of Mormon. I'm trying to look at the history of it all with an open mind, and it's getting harder to discount it at all. I remember sitting in Institute when i I've always loved the Book of Mormon, and the hoax stories seemed weird considering how outlandish they were. But coming from a fundamentalist world where Mormons were evil as well as their Church, and the Bible was all we had, it was hard to shake those instincts even after I joined. And I didn't want to be naive just because of how I felt about the Book of Mormon. I'm trying to look at the history of it all with an open mind, and it's getting harder to discount it at all. I remember sitting in Institute when it finally clicked- look at the things the prophets and called men of God did thousands of years ago. He uses imperfect people all the time! I'm starting to think of the imperfection of leaders and of everyday members as evidence. Could a system survive like this if it wasn't divinely inspired? And when you get that thought, it's hard to answer! Lol I tend to think of doubts or things I don't understand about the Gospel as shortcomings, and it's hard to just wrap my mind around that it's not a bad thing. I'll have to check out the video! Thanks!

I like that. It was hard for me to understand how churches could be good if they were wrong per my pre-LDS understanding. I'm the kind of person who likes to get along with and see the good in people as a whole, so having the freedom to really see how all churches were capable of doing some good even if their theology wasn't spot-on was awesome. They can have pieces of the truth without the fullness of truth, much like people who lived before the Restoration, right? Thank you for your thoughts!

I don't think he was an evil or an awful man by any means. None of us is perfect. But when someone muddies the waters by going line by line with every awful thing he was accused of, it's just hard to offer an explanation because I tend to freeze up in those types of situations. And your explanation of the scriptures you quoted is interesting. I've heard John 12:24 before, but it makes sense to put in the context of Ephesians 1:10!

It is! A dear friend of mine was waiting to serve a mission, and she swore to me she'd take me to every major church history site in Missouri/Illinois before she left, and she did! We went to a Time Out For Women in Overland Park, KS and packed the morning and afternoon before with seeing all the KC-area sites because she insisted I get to see it. I thanked God for her because it was amazing. And differentiating between my own mind and the Spirit is easy sometimes and hard others. And you're right. Asking Him is. I just have a hard time listening for answers. XD Nothing for me seems to go right when I look at other churches. I went to Mass at my family's local parish, went to services at one of my previous churches, and nothing seemed right to me. I guess this was my answer? I checked out the link you included, and I really enjoyed reading the passage about the 'gates.' The last line where he quoted Hugh Nibley reminded me of the passage in (I believe) 1 Peter about Jesus preaching to the Spirits in prison. Makes sooo much sense in light of that. Also the next couple questions answered about the apostasy on that page are really powerful. Something I've always found odd is evangelicals mocking LDS for believing in the Great Apostasy when they themselves believe the greater Church was in need of, at the very least, a reformation or restoration. Thank you!

Anyone in my large extended family that cares about religion is at least culturally Catholic or Anglican (even though I was raised without religion), so that line of argumentation is pretty commonly used to tear down groups springing up post-Protestant Reformation. I think because I've only ever heard someone use the quote in that context (usually in arguments after I started hanging out with "the Mormons"), that's how I think of it: "Nothing can prevail against the church, so how could it fall away one generation after the Apostles?" But your line of reasoning is interesting. It seems to make more sense to me especially concerning other passages of scripture. I had the same assumption for the longest time about the Bible being it. My mom raised me and my brother to be "seekers," but without the Catholic things she was raised with. I went to an independent Baptist church, then a Oneness Pentecostal church before finding the LDS Church, so I had a lot of problems with understanding why the Bible isn't the end of the canon. I'm way off topic now, haha, but I wanted to add that since both have been pretty big stumbling blocks for me.

@Grunt, thank you! Something you said reminds me of M. Russell Ballard's "To Whom Shall We Go." He shared a quote from I believe Neal A. Maxwell, "We should not that just because something is unexplainable by us, it us unexplainable." I remember writing that down (from my first GC as a member, so it sticks out in my mind). And I love the Book of Mormon. When I left, that was one thing that got me- how to explain this book if it wasn't inspired of God. The testimonies of the witnesses were always super powerful for me, too. Even after leaving, I still felt like there was something special about that book. What you said makes a lot of sense, too. If this book is true, then the only church that preaches living by its principles must be, as well. I'm definitely going to have to buy a journal, too! Thank you so much for your comment!

My apologies if this is in the wrong thread or whatnot- I just joined this forum today. Anyways, let me explain my predicament and then I'll ask my question: I had some amazing experiences/coincidences that led me to being baptized LDS in September of 2016. I was super antagonistic and mocking toward the Church before I joined, and so it had to be what I felt at the time was divine intervention to even soften my heart to that point. No joke, one day I told God I'd never be a Mormon and the next day, my best friend/fellow convert said she was going on a mission; then, I happened to sit in a room full of 300 people next to a guy from across the country who told me he'd just turned in his papers. There were multiple other moments like that that confirmed I needed to check this out. I gained a super strong testimony of God's timing, and I knew the other churches I had been to were wrong. This was quite literally my last option. Everything made sense and the things I learned from the missionaries and in church meetings seemed to answer questions where other churches seemed to leave them. I'm from Missouri, so Nauvoo, Carthage, Adam-ondi-Ahman, Independence, Liberty, etc, are within a 3-4 hour drive, and everything felt right. Almost from the beginning, I had doubts. Everyone in my family is basically culturally Catholic or nominally Protestant, so it got hard fighting them on things I hadn't been taught about or things they were skewing and misinterpreting and whatnot. I ended up losing my testimony totally and in a split-second decision used quitmormon.com to remove my name from Church records in late September 2017. The day it got processed, the missionaries found my mom and ended up teaching her the first two or three lessons over the next few days. She wasn't interested, but I ended up finding them again in early November. We met a few times, but I didn't think I wanted to go back. Now I feel such a strong pull to go back to the Church, but I'm afraid it's a purely emotional thing because, honestly, I want it to be true. For me, the whole Church rests on one question: was Joseph Smith a prophet or not? I can get past his wrongdoings, basically, but the likelihood of him actually being THE Prophet to bring about the Restoration is what bugs me. It kind of boils down to the Great Apostasy-- in short, I see very little concrete evidence for it scripturally and historically. It makes sense the faith of the people waxes and wanes, but this is one thing that I can't wrap my head around. Why would Christ say he's going to build His Church and even the gates of Hell will not prevail against it, when roughly 1800 years elapsed between the time of Christ and Joseph Smith? I've done some reading in the early church and haven't come across evidence of a lot of modern LDS practices in the early church. So if it was a restoration, where was it in the first place? Sorry if this is long but this is a pretty big crisis of faith for me since I gave up a lot to become LDS and hurt a lot of people by leaving. I had some amazing experiences in the Church but basically the questions I have surrounding Joseph, the Great Apostasy, and the Restoration are like gigantic roadblocks to me possibly coming back. If someone has resources or advice or something, that would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!