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  1. sharmaine

    To be honest. . .

    I work and plan on continuing to work when/if I have kids. My husband also works. My mom was the same as you and slowly grew more and more resentful of SAHM life and having her body ruined by multiple kids etc. She tried to get back into a career too late to really be successful. She still thinks she can diet and exercise her way back into her 22 year old body and blew up at me when I referred her to a friend who would have given her lipo at an extreme discount (I was honestly trying to help because she has complained about her "permanent baby weight" for decades). She's still a bitter woman about how her life turned out. I may be overcompensating but I never want to end up as miserable as she is. I won't presume to give you advice but if you have a passion for something besides being a SAHM maybe trying to pursue it now rather than later will help you feel better.
  2. sharmaine

    Skirts and garments

    You might be more comfortable in a teaching environment (did you mean as a profession, or in church?) wearing midi or maxi skirts / dresses, or pants. If you can choose pants, choose pants. If I were teaching middle schoolers I would be dressed purely for comfort and convenience as far to the edge as a professional dress code would allow. You're there to provide instruction, not to look attractive or feel self-conscious about your underwear slipping out. I don't mean that to sound harsh, just saying that's not something I want to worry about middle schoolers snickering about, because they will.
  3. sharmaine

    "Oh, just put on a cardigan or jacket..."

    I imagine because it enables women to wear something that isn't from DownEast or Lularoe. Showing up in the exact same dress (and sometimes same color or pattern!) as a third of the ward is generally a bigger "fashion mistake" than layering or a bit of underwear flash. Layering with visible underwear is a legitimate fashion trend right now. Models all over the runaway are wearing completely sheer tops with lacy bralettes. The bralettes are meant to be seen. Now garments aren't meant to be seen, but from an outsider's perspective, they might see a flash of lacy white as jumping on a trend not a fashion mistake. I try not to judge the fashion of LDS women in general because garments are not designed for comfort, fashion, or even a good fit on the variable female body. When women are expected to be all sorts of attractive in and out of LDS culture but now have to deal with ill-fitting, inconvenient, and uncomfortable underwear...just let it be.
  4. sharmaine

    Yep, I hate Relief Society

    I'm currently at home skipping Relief Society. I am in a ward that is about half poor and young families and half a retirement community. Relief Society is not well attended in general. Pregnant ladies who are morning sick stay home. Young moms stay home or out in the hall. Most of the seniors only come to Sacrament if they come at all. So the few people left who come to Relief Society are pretty...zealous. And then there's me. I'm young and married, no kids. I work. When I was first in the ward I tried to make a few friends but I'm just at a life stage all by myself in this ward. Most of the women don't have the time, energy, or money to go see a movie etc. with me and are more interested in my potential as a free babysitter so they can do something with their husband. However there are a few senior ladies who see me as a project. One in particular, we'll call her Sister Jones, who has taken it upon herself to try to corner me at church and any ward function. It's a very awkward, controlling social interaction where she asks personal questions or interrogates me as to why I wasn't at church the previous week or why I missed X ward function. She has even tried to sell me her MLM essential oils on multiple occasions to "help your poor health" (because if I miss a Sunday here or there I must be sickly) or "to help me get pregnant" even though I have never expressed a desire to get pregnant or trouble in doing so. She has called, texted, and shown up at my door various times to check up on me. I ended up blocking her number and now do not answer the door when I am not expecting someone (I don't have a peephole in my door to check who it is). I just don't go to Relief Society now. I used to sit out in the foyer reading my scriptures but she has sent one of her minions out after me. So I've been leaving church early rather regularly now. I have expressed very firmly that I do not appreciate her gestures and my husband has also talked to her. She doesn't get it. The bishop thinks I should just live and let live because she's an old lady who's set in her ways and won't change. I have asked him for a calling in primary during third hour but no luck. So what would you do? Tell her off? Tell the bishop off? Change wards? Keep skipping RS?