marge

I don't see a problem with church leaders being paid, that way they can dedicate their efforts to the church completely, it makes sense that the church would look after them. In my faith all the priests, bishops etc are financially looked after by the church, that way they can concentrate fully on their job in the church. I don't see an issue with it at all.

This is brilliant news, I'm so happy for all 3 of you. Best of luck and God bless.

I wasn't aware that LDS members could drink instant coffee and green and white tea or decaf coffee, I thought these things were against the word of wisdom? Just trying to make sure I'm understanding the LDS beliefs correctly.

I find this so interesting, the lyrics for Joy to the World were written in 1719 by Isaac Watts and while some of the original song is in this version of it, it is quite different, so I guess you'd have to look to the LDS church to find out what they meant when they changed the lyrics and if they intended those changes to change the meaning of the original song, which was about the birth of Christ. I've sung this song so many times it really took me aback for a second trying to work out what was going on. For anyone who would like to see the differences the original lyrics are below with the original words that have been changed bolded. Joy To The World Joy to the World , the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare Him room, And Heaven and nature sing, And Heaven and nature sing, And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing. Joy to the World, the Savior reigns! Let men their songs employ; While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains Repeat the sounding joy, Repeat the sounding joy, Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy. No more let sins and sorrows grow, Nor thorns infest the ground; He comes to make His blessings flow Far as the curse is found, Far as the curse is found, Far as, far as, the curse is found. He rules the world with truth and grace, And makes the nations prove The glories of His righteousness, And wonders of His love, And wonders of His love, And wonders, wonders, of His love.

So if you did follow through on it, it would be the shock of his life and really get you the results you are after. You can't just complain and pray and hope that something will change, you need to take action, you need to follow through

Thats why I think an ultimatum is appropriate. He either steps up to the plate and actually takes responsibility and actually does the job he insisted on having (stay at home dad) or he gets a job so you can do it. Make it clear to him that those are his choices. Stand your ground, I'd also be insisting on marriage counselling, you can't live like this for the rest of your life, something needs to change

That was kinda a joke at the end of my post, what I meant by it is if he actually takes his responsibilities seriously and did all the things he should be doing and is actually held accountable for those things. He would very quickly find a job. I do hope you read the rest of my post, it might help you Have a serious talk to him, tell him you would feel more comfortable with the situation if he actually did all the stuff he was supposed to be doing. Ask him if he knows how to do the laundry and if he needs you to show him. Ask him if he needs some basic cooking books and a new vacuum cleaner to help him get organised. Get him a planner and plan out his week with him. What sort of activities is he doing with the child everyday? Make a list and go through it with him. INSIST that if he really wants to be a stay at home dad THIS is what it means. Just because he's a man doesn't mean he doesn't have to do all these things, he's signing up for it, he needs to either do it properly or go back to work so you can do it.

First off, pray, a lot! Pray for him, pray for your child, pray for yourself, pray for your family to be united and happy. This is a hard situation, on one hand it makes sense that you earn more so he should be at home, on the other hand I can't imagine how hard that would be for you. Also he isn't doing his job, his job (that he nominated himself for and insisted on having) is to be the homemaker and look after your child. So that means childcare, cleaning, washing, cooking, all the stuff a stay at home parent does. Not offloading his responsibilities to grandma (and you) so he can play video games! You have every right to be furious at him. That being said, being furious is not going to get you what you want. If he's going to get a job and go back to work it has to be his idea. Have a serious talk to him, tell him you would feel more comfortable with the situation if he actually did all the stuff he was supposed to be doing. Ask him if he knows how to do the laundry and if he needs you to show him. Ask him if he needs some basic cooking books and a new vacuum cleaner to help him get organised. Get him a planner and plan out his week with him. What sort of activities is he doing with the child everyday? Make a list and go through it with him. INSIST that if he really wants to be a stay at home dad THIS is what it means. Just because he's a man doesn't mean he doesn't have to do all these things, he's signing up for it, he needs to either do it properly or go back to work so you can do it. He'll be so tired after a week he'll re-inlist, maybe that's what he really wants anyway, some people just love the military, and by the sounds of it the structure will do him good.

Awesome advice, I was the same when I quit, I was always chewing gum or mints, especially in the car, 'driving mints', lol, that and chuppa chumps (lolly pops)

So true, he would also add whatever 'bludgers who refuse to work are getting for free his tax dollars are paying for!'

I'm Australian so here we have Medicare, which I guess in theory is 'free healthcare for everyone' but its not perfect, and costs the government money it really doesn't have. There are also really long waiting lists, when my child was 2 years old for example he needed a minor operation for his ears (grommets) the waiting list was almost 2 years for the operation to be done on medicare. My doctor looked me straight in the eye and told me my son would be permanently deaf if I waited that long. So I paid the $900 for the operation to be done straight away. Once you are on a certain income level you are forced to have full private health insurance (hospital cover, not just extras like dental/physio/optical) or the tax department will basically fine you when you do your taxes (its called the medicare levy and its between 1-2% of your annual income). I'm in a small family (2 adults and our child is free until he is 21) and have mid level hospital cover and high level extras (we need the top level optical and dental) and it costs us $190 f/n (which is almost double what our 'fine' would be). A lot of people can't afford a bill like that or the fine if they don't have it. The system has many problems, the income thresholds are not very high so anyone in an upper middle class situation is forced to pay for health insurance that they probably can't afford or pay the government a average of a couple of thousand dollars at tax time. The taxation system is not the best here either, once you hit a certain income level you are taxed 50cents out of every dollar, so when you get a pay rise, you're likely only to see half of it, but that pay rise has landed you in the 'income bracket' for the medicare levy so now you have a $5000 a year health insurance bill or get a fine at tax time. So a lot of the time the pay rise lands you financially worse off than before you had it in the first place. Its good for low income earners to have access to somewhat ok health cover (until waiting lists send their children deaf!) its ok for really high income earners because it doesn't really effect them, but its terrible for anyone considered middle or upper middle class ($80 to $120K for singles $160K-$250K for families), because most can't afford to have private health insurance and at the same time, can't afford not to have it. My husband calls it socialism, which he thinks is way to close to communism. But he does get a bit extra passionate about politics!

well you quoted me so I assumed you were asking me a question (wrongly apparently) and since you replied with 'So how would you know the person is a virgin?' I again assumed the question was directed towards me. And again I say (and honestly for the last time) that things like that are to be worked out in pre-marital counselling, along with normal marital counselling such as children, who's responsible for what, how to handle money, dogs inside or out - and apparently if people find it necessary (which a lot on this thread seem to) 'have you murdered an unborn baby' or 'are you still a virgin'. I'd like to see the look on the priests face when some 'un-judgemental well-meaning chap' asks that question in pre-marital counselling, I can also assume a lot of women will slap said chap on the face and walk out of the room. This is my opinion, and how the situation would likely play out in my reality, I'm not stating it again and I'm not willing to explain it again. If you opinion is different than mine then that's ok, if your experience and reality is different than mine then that's ok. I feel that am getting a lot of borderline hostility for my opinion here. I hope that is not the spirit in which you are all posting. I am but one person with a different opinion from the majority on this thread, its unrealistic (and to be honest a bit unfair) to expect me to keep defending my position against all of you.

you said to me Soo.... did you ask, "Are you a virgin?" to which I responded 'No' I assumed you were asking me a direct question since you didn't mention my son in it at all, in any case I've already explained to you that pre-marital counselling done by my church is the place to discuss and work out anything that needs to be discussed or worked out before marriage.

Good luck with that, after 22 years my husband says he still doesn't understand me (or any woman for that matter) 🤣🤣 But seriously I've stated my opinion on the subject, I've answered the questions I am willing to answer, I'm not going to answer personal questions on an open forum about my husbands virginity when I married him, I find that very intrusive and inappropriate. I think I'm done with this subject. God bless you all

Good thing I've been happily married for 22 years then and I don't have to date anymore

I've read OTHERS opinions on it, I can understand their point of view, I think its very judgemental but I understand it. I've stated my opinion on the subject, I really don't know what else you want from me on the subject, nor am I willing to give any more than I already have.

No

my first post on this thread simply said "As a woman, if someone I was dating asked me a question like that, I'd probably dump them!" I've had questions after that post as to why I think this way, I've answered them.

I'm not offended by being asked a question as to what I think at all. The why why why why thing did come across as condescending and immature though. The topic of this thread is about asking a woman if she has had an abortion to decide if she is worthy to date or marry. I would be horrified and insulted if my husband had ever asked me a question like that in an effort to determine if I was 'marriage material'. And I would have dumped him. That's my opinion. I don't see what's so confusing about it. If you are going to marry someone you should know their heart, you should know what sort of person they are. If you know so little about who they really are that you feel the need to ask them if they are a murderer then I don't think you know enough about that person to be entertaining marrying them in the first place.

I think its a rude, horrible, judgmental question to ask a woman, if she has not done it she will be highly insulted and rightly so, and if she has she will be devastated and heartbroken so the question is still awful. That's my opinion. I don't see what's so baffling about it.

This has nothing to do with teaching him to being polite at all, I think you are mis-understanding me completely. My son will more than likely marry someone from our church, who would be a virgin like him, so the question is completely insulting in my mind. Even if she wasn't a virgin asking someone if they have murdered a person is not an acceptable question to just ask, I think its very insensitive and judgmental. My church also has pre marital counselling so what ever they need to work out before marriage is part of that counselling. If something comes up in counselling that can't be worked out or resolved, then they don't have to go ahead with the wedding. Counselling also deals with a lot of the practical things in marriage too, expectations about to raise children, handle money etc

I said my point of view, you don't have to like it I don't agree with your view on it and that's fine, I find this why why why why thing pretty childish so I won't engage in it

@JoyGraceMercy I agree with @Tyme, this is a serious matter, you should only commit to it when you feel 100% ready. You will know when the time is right.

I vote by number 4. Party Affiliation I'm in Australia, I always vote for the liberal party (which my husband says is like the republican party in the US). I vote that way because the Labour Party (like the democrats) give away so much revenue to unemployment benefits, government housing and other free services that quite frankly, our country can't afford. While I do feel sorry for these people I don't think it helps them to just give them hand outs.

No I wouldn't ask that, and if it was asked of me I would leave the situation. I would be horrified if I found out my son had asked a lady such a question, but I believe I have done a good job as a mother and raised him better than that.