Squibbles

I'm sorry if I misread it.

Honestly it's not my intention to withhold sexual intimacy as a punishment; I just can't make myself have sex with someone who I honestly can't say "I love you" to. I feel deceitful and mean and awkward having sex. But after your post I can see that my husband might see it that way.

That's actually an interesting idea 🤔😇

The point is I'm emotionally about done "caring" for my husband. I do everything I can to care for him and the kids, and he does nothing to help "care" for me. My love language is service. Him helping me is part of caring for me. His language is touch. I have never, until about 3 months ago, said "no" to intimacy from him because I know it's important to him to feel loved, even when I'm not "in the mood." This is not simply about having a good yard (which I don't; with everything else I don't have time to do all that needs to be done). It's deeper than that. I have done everything for him and don't feel like he does the same. I work, too. The only thing he contributes is income. I don't want more money, I'd rather have a husband.

Thank you. I will check into those books. I talked to him about counseling before, but nothing came of it. I guess I will have to find a counselor. I'm afraid of being able to afford it and having to end up going to Bishop and asking for funds--I like to find a way. But it would probably be helpful

I did say that he only works and sleeps. Paying someone else for yardwork would be great!....if it was an affordable option. Looks like you got a great deal. I looked into that and in my area it's out of my budget.

We have not read it, but I have read a summary of the languages. I told him that based on that my "language" is service and he said his is touch.

I don't know what to do. We have a temple marriage, going on 10 yrs. We have two young kids. It's just for the past several months especially I feel like I don't love my spouse anymore. I don't hate them; it's like being good friends with your roommate. I feel happier when it's just me and the kids. When they're around I feel indifferent, resentment, or irritated. I feel guilty about feeling this way. I've tried spending time with them without the kids, I've expressed frustration at working and still doing both the all the child-rearing, housework, and yardwork, while he only works and sleeps. It's been that way for the entire relationship. I do all the house while he will occasionally help (and feels proud for cleaning once a month), I do all the yardwork because he "has allergies" (I do too), I take care of the vehicles, bills, doctors, school. The only thing he does with the kids is watch a show or do a video game. We've talked about this before, and nothing ever changes or the change is temporary. Adding in the mix: I have depression and anxiety and he has ADD. Recently, he has done laundry and dishes for a week, and then expected everything to change and for me to want to be with him, got upset when I didn't want to. I haven't told him that I can't say "I love you" back because I don't feel honest saying it. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt the kids. I feel obligated to stay for my kid's sake, for my husband's feelings, for the church culture. I would be extremely embarrassed to mention this to the bishop. I don't really know him or feel comfortable around him. Part of me feels empty and not wanting to work on the marriage. What would you do?